I'm so glad he has a strong mom like you :). I understand how hard it is for him to just sit and be with his thoughts. I couldn't keep up the physical pace that he has been doing :eek:.

My vice of choice to avoid thinking is reading. I read constantly. Otherwise I start obsessing about you know who. He may be afraid that he will start feeling guilty or start missing her as insane as that may sound. It's Stockholm syndrome and PTSD. I have along road ahead and so does he. Understanding why I feel these things is helping me a lot. :hug::hug: for your family.

Coming out of any relationship that didn't end well can lead to alot of weird thoughts. I am sure it is even worse if it was an abusive relationship. I don't blame him for trying to fill his days with things to do instead of sitting alone with those thoughts. Give him time to learn to be himself while thinking about other things before he tries to sit and think too long and hard about himself.

Let him know it isn't just the ladies out there pulling and praying for him...

Well, he beat the bushes for the last 5 days and got a J O B today! he starts tomorrow. its a huge apple farm, and they need a general mechanic style guy, gopher, apple picker, fork lift driver...type guy. he stepped up and said "im your man!" so he starts at 8 tomorrow morning! Wahoo! I love this farm, they are so eco friendly, so social friendly, and really good people. Since their farm goes dormant in october, its seasonal, but it will do well till he finds another job. Wahoo!

He said to say thank you to all who said prayers for him. he really is still struggling, but he is starting to find his way, and having a J O B helps so much. instead of asking mom for gas money, or movie money, he can make his own. it will go a long way towards healing the bruised manhood.

Of course mom can still make him a great breakfast before he leaves, make him a nice lunch, and keep a dinner plate ready for when he returns. We dragged out an old cooler so he will have cool stuff to eat at lunch instead of having to eat peanut butter sandwiches which dont ruin in the heat.

With jobs the way they are, he really worked hard to find work. he didnt sit back and talk about how over qualified he was for this job (and he is) he just wants to work! Way to boy!

That's great news, Dej. I'm proud of him. Nowadays any honest job is a good job. He's fortunate to find one. Tell him I hope he has a really good first day. :)

This is where he went to work.


http://www.alysonsorchard.com/alyson-orchards/

http://www.alysonsorchard.com/alyson.../overview.aspx click on VIDEO and choose one to see how wonderful and beautiful this place is. I could sit on the mountain side for days. 500 acres of beauty.

It's beautiful! Makes me want to live there (except in the Winter :o).

Beautiful and a nice place to work, unless you have a bee phobia..:eek: I love apples!!:)

Give DS some power hugs from Sally.

have not heard from him all day. he was supposed to work till 5:30 so that will be good for him. I took the day off and rested. I have a nice honey ham covered with pineapples and cherries in the oven with augratin potatoes for dinner. His fav! (cant believe he likes pork so much) and he will be happy with brownies for dessert.

im hoping he had a good day, and that he was treated well, and wants to go back.

I'm comin' to your house for supper, Dej! I hope his first day went well, too. I hope he met lots of nice folks and realizes that his previous situation was not "the norm" and that there are kind people out there.

He came home dragging, but happy! He has tomorrow off so he can go to the church service, and they are going to the county fair after! They have tickets to the demo derby for him as a nice welcome to our church present. His boss is great, and he never picked a single apple. They had him doing mechanical stuff, and setting up for weddings, and working with the ducks on the duck pond, and packing a shipment, and then delivering it. He said the guys he works with are awesome, and he really like them. its sooooo nice to see this young man smile again.

btw, each night, he can bring home all the fresh fruit he wants! he warned them that mom is juicing right now, and they may lose on that bet. He dragged home $20 worth of peaches! I may make a cobler for him tomorrow or monday night dinner. Tomorrow I think I will just get out of his way and let him make church friends with some stable young men with good foundations that are his age.

Wahoo! my boy is on his way to his own life of freedom. He said he is lonley and he misses her in some ways, but in others he is starting to see that she is pretty sick. I had to show him that its NOT his job to fix her. its his job to fix HIM and him only! Then once he is fixed, he can start to look for a better mate. He said that made him sad, because he was ready to commit the rest of his life to her, for better or worse....he just didnt realize it was going to be all worse. I tried to explain that if she was willing to seek help, get treatment or had a disease that she was willing to stand up and accept help for, that would be one thing, but to blame ALL of the problems, issues, and bad times on one half of the relationship never ever works. so, he still has some healing to do, but at least he is asking the right questions, and I have him tugged in the right direction now. Its really hard to let go of someone you love, even if they are not the best thing in the world for you. This one will leave a deep scar, but it will heal.