[Blessings2You]

I've been thinking...a few things have happened lately to make me try to be more cautious about hurting soemone's feelings. I know, it isn't possible to avoid that altogether--some people are thin-skinned, sometimes we say things that are misinterpreted, and so on.

But a couple of examples: I heard one lady say to a couple of other ladies, "That awful blue cushion is so out of place in here, every time I look at it, it just makes me shudder!" The person who had lovingly chosen and donated the cushion was silently hurt and embarrassed.

A group of people ended up making mean-spirited generalizations about lawyers. Turns out one of the group WAS an attorney.

I was in a store once when a man came in spouting and cursing and threatening to "have the badge" of a crooked cop in a nearby town because he'd been "unfairly" singled out and ticketed. After he left, the cashier at the store said to me, "Why didn't you tell him the officer is your brother-in-law?"

Realistically, we all vent and we all occasionally end up apologizing to someone. That's life. But I'm really challenging myself to be more conscious before I speak about the possibility of hurting somebody. It ain't gonna be easy, but I'm going to try.

Maybe next week I'll work on not letting my own feelings get hurt so easily!

[Kitty]

I'll try with you, B2Y!

I really wish other folks would try this. Seems like every time I venture out I witness or experience firsthand a rude, thoughtless person. Maybe I've just become more thin-skinned since becoming disabled. Or maybe I've just developed a more caring attitude towards people since MS took over my life.

Either way, it's a great idea for everyone to try.

[Twinkletoes]

Yes, B2Y!

My DD and I were just speaking of that late last night -- how you never know what kind of a day someone is having; therefore we need to be a little less judgmental and slower to set that person "straight".

I'm so impressed with you, B2Y, that you didn't tell that person about your BIL!

I work 3d/wk at a hospital and 1 day at a justice court. So many folks have lots on their minds when they come to my window for help. I get to hear lots of opinions spouted -- usually about officers and their lack of empathy. And yes, I realize they usually just need someone to listen and be tolerant b/c they are frustrated.

Wouldn't the world be a better place everyone was a little more tolerant and compassionate? I can't claim to always adhere to that, but that's my goal.

Thanks for posting, Blessings. You truly live up to your name.

[SallyC]

It would kill me if I hurt someone's feelings. And yet, thinking before I speak is not one of my best virtues. I've had foot into mouth disease forever. Usually it just leads to my imbarrassment, but occasionally, I'm sure my words have hurt someone. I hope not, but sometimes, just the most innocent words can hurt..

My goal is your goal Blessings..

[Dejibo]

Im with Sally, it would really wound me deeply to think I have hurt someone with something I said. Yet...im good at it! I sometimes speak without thinking, and some of the stuff that wanders around my head leaks out, and BLAM! there it is! Crazy stuff, and while it seemed harmless rattling around my head, it can wound, mame or even injure others.

***putting duck tape on my shopping list****


Promise to try harder to think before I speak out.

[msarkie]

Knowledge is knowing what to say, wisdom is knowing when to say it!

I've had so many foot-in-mouth experiences, I've really tried to learn to stop and think before I speak. I've noticed, though, that my brain to mouth filter seems to be completely nonexistant some days. My teeth are practically chasing my tongue out of my mouth trying to catch the words before they can escape and expose my rather "earthy" mind to someone who might be offended.

[Lady]

In person I'm not that bad at all. I good I don't hurt anyones feelings. I try to think, before I speak, so later at night I don't slap myself on the side of the head and say, why did you say that to her/him?

Now on the phone, I don't have too much patience when people make mistakes, or mess up dates of dr, hospital, appointments or drugs for me, etc.

I have been fighting my pharmacy and doctor's nurse for the last few days.

I am allergic to a drug, it's in both their files, yet what does the doctor order?-yep- you guessed it, one of the drugs I'm really allergic to. Then the pharmacy fills it.

Why bother filling out doctors charts or give drug stores the info if I have to watch their every move? This gets me mad.

I can do it, but some older or less drug knowledgeable person, is going to get really sick, or worse, from these mistakes. I may call and rant, yet I do tell the person on the phone (if it was not them) that I don't mean to keep calling, but someone has to get this right in their office. I realize it may be just the receptionist to relay the message, but it happens so often to me.

I even have them highlight my file, give them my birth date, and still I find almost all my doctors and many pharmacies make mistakes. One time three meds had the directions mixed up on all of them. Someone could overdose.

It burns me up and so I do get mad, and yes, sometimes at the wrong person, but I always tell them, it is not them, it is so and so.

It just happened again today so I am still PO'd.

Sorry this sounds like a vent.

Perhaps it is. Thanks for listening.

[knittenkitten]

I pray every morning that I be reminded to think before I speak. I could be so good at slinging barbs whenever someone annoys me. I have learned to ask if something I am going to say will help the situation. If the answer is no I don't say it.

[karousel]

My biggest problem is when people judge others. Unfortunately I see it every day and mostly it's other moms doing it. It's hard not get swept up in the judging of others and it's something I work on every day.

Over the years I have learned to be careful of what I say so I don't hurt someone's feelings or say something way out of line. My only reason is kind of selffish - I want my DD to be a good person and know she would learn from example. Since I've been practicing it for 12 years, I've been good even when DD isn't around and am kind of proud of myself.

As for not having hurt feelings, that's a tough one B2Y!!

[Kitty]

I read somewhere that you shouldn't say anything about anyone else that you wouldn't want them to overhear. Just think how quiet this world would be if everyone did that........ .