I'm feeling so horrible this weekend, sick, not hungry, not in a good mood...cant barely move my right leg and foot. Really am not up to having anyone over to the house at all. My dad is calling my sister right now and asking them not to come over tomorrow. (they can come get their stuff if they want and open it at home if they want to)

I dont even want to open presents tomorrow. I just dont want anyone here. So freaking tired. Feel so bad and I'm starting to think I'm going to be in the hospital or something really soon.

geeze, I really hate MS.

I am so sorry Erin. Christmas is not a date but kindred spirit and frame of mind. It is the love we all have for each other and why we have Christmas. It doesn't have to be celebrated tomorrow, it probably didn't even happen in December. Have Christmas when you can. When I worked as an RN, working in the hospital on Christmas day was one of my favorite times and holidays to work. The sense of family love was just so great. So don't worry about not feeling well at all this weekend. Your family loves you. You have written about it many times. So do what you can tomorrow and enjoy what little tiny piece of it you can. Knowing you don't feel good and celebrating anyway may even help your family appreciate it more.

I sure dont feel loved. My dad is at least being nice, but my mom is not getting it at all about how bad I feel. I dont know what's going to happen with my sister. My dad was calling her up when I came back downstairs. I just dont have the energy to do anything, barely have the energy to write this.

My sister had called earlier tonight for something when my parents were gone for a bit before I ruined everything, and a comment that she made rubbed me the wrong way. Made me decide that I just dont want to be around anyone at all.

I went to take a shower and it took so long, and then took forever just to get my pants back on because I couldnt move my right leg....just keep feeling worse and worse, like I'm getting weaker. I dont think the problems this flare kicked up are going to heal and go away and I'm never going to walk normal again...

Maybe it's the steroids talking that's making me feel like complete <swear word>. If I had the energy I'd go and see what my dad said to my sister. I just want to sit here and cry tho...so freaking tired

well, my sister isnt listening to me.

they're insisting on coming over tomorrow.

what part of "I'm sick, cant handle having people over here" dont they understand?

I just saw how far a cane can fly down the stairs. (which kind of made it hard for me to limp the rest of the way to the stairs)

edited to add:
Now they're coming over to get the presents, but I think they're really peeved at me now. I think I'm to the point that I dont care anymore what they think. I wanted to make sure they got their presents, but I just cant handle anything right now.

Just put some good music and earphones on. Let them have that kind of Christmas if they want. I also feel a good cry is needed a least every 3 months! This was not the life that we dreamed of having when we were little girls. But it is the life we have as grown up girls. But we can't let it define us. So I just out myself in my room, have a good cry, get my Nook out and slam some crazy birds, read part of a good book and then go out and enjoy the world, in whatever little part I can. It is theirs for them to accept.

I think the steroids and another problem I'm having along with the numb legs and body and just EVERYTHING got to me. The thought of having anyone here was just too stressful for me to deal with. I dont want any excitement I guess.

My b-in-law came and got all the goodies and he's going to probably webcam some of their present opening for my parents.

My dad said that we dont have to open presents in the morning, said that we can take our time with present opening, do it whenever. My mom isnt going to be thrilled with that, but oh well...

I did sit down with her and helped her wrap a couple of presents for my dad. One good thing I did years ago was make fabric gift bags and amass a collection of ribbon. Last year we added some re-usable gift boxes that we got at Costco. No cutting paper, no looking for scotch tape. Just stick the present in a bag and tie it with a ribbon, or put it in a re-usable gift box. Heck of a lot less trash to throw away.

At least we finally wrapped all the presents. Now they can just sit there till we're ready to deal with unwrapping...which could take a couple of days. Maybe when I'm done with the stupid oral prednisone. I'm now understanding how the prednisone can make some people wonko.

I hope you feel better, Erin, so you dont ruin your Parents Christmas. If it weren't for them, what would your Christmas be like?

Erin, I hope you are feeling better and have had some rest.

Best to you,
ANN

I ended up letting my mom open presents even tho I still didnt feel good. We just did it later in the day that we would usually do it. Took forever and we didnt even have that much stuff. My dad wasnt feeling good either. (he's got a heart condition and was coughing a lot today, hurt a muscle in his side) So we made my mom do the fetching and carrying of getting presents out from under the tree.

My mom was a happy camper to get a pin that looks like my old dog in profile, and a calendar of dogs of the same breed. She hated the present I gave to her tho. Most people say "thank you", and then ask for the receipt, but my mom has the ballistic meltdown. My dad is now the proud owner of a coffee machine that makes one cup at a time. (mom wants a coffee machine with a big coffee pot...thought I was making things easier for her. Apparently I was wrong.)

We ended up not having my sister over. It was just going to be too much for me. I'm still feeling a lot of anxiety and the day is over and I'm still feeling like I'm crawling the walls. At least my b-in-law was able to come over and get the stuff we bought for them so they could have their presents.

I do feel kind of bad about it, but I just couldnt handle having anyone here. I'm still feeling crappy. My left leg has gotten more and more numb as today has gone on, and I'm not sure where that's coming from. The numbness before was pretty much just on my right side and down my right leg, so having the left side start to go today is really freaking me out. It's a bit harder to walk than it was yesterday. Scaring the crap out of me. I hope I can walk in the morning, and I hope my neuro is in the office tomorrow.

Just having to deal with this MS junk for most of the month finally got to me. I hit my saturation point and couldnt get past it. I'm really grateful to my dad for listening to me. I'm sure my sister thinks I'm a complete <swear word> tho for calling it off.

Stress can make MS symptoms worse. Getting worked up about the symptoms produces stress and that just enhances any sx you're already having. It's a vicious circle.

Other folks (who don't have MS) will never understand what we experience. No matter how hard they might try to....or say "I know how you feel"......they don't.

It's easy to say just ignore them. Much easier said than done. Because with just a look or a tone they can take you feel like trash.

I feel sorry for your sister that she can't see beyond her own wants and desires to see that you and your Dad are having a difficult time of things right now. Maybe if he speaks to her and tells her to back off she'll listen to him. Sometimes just hearing it from a parent makes the difference.

Your Mom.....well, you already know how she is and it's not really a surprise that she reacted like she did......so at least you know where that's coming from and it's not personally directed at you. Still stings but at least you know the reason for it.

It's hard not to stress out about these symptoms especially when you don't know how long they're going to last or if they're going to go away.

I've had all these symptoms and mine have eventually gone away - or at least minimized a great deal - but it's never as quickly as I'd like it to be.

I've found that if I just accept that it's here for a while.......try not to get stressed out about it (good luck)......and try to do something to distract myself (again, good luck).......that's about all I can do. Steroids never helped me much and seemed to do more harm than good so I usually just ride it out on my own with nothing but maybe some chocolate and ice cream.