[doydie]

My Mom died a year ago and one of my nephews is disraught that he hasn't been able to cry yet. He is ADD, ADHD, has been in the drug and alcahol scene but is out of it now. He is 25, a recent Dad. I was the same way when my sister died. I did not shed a tear and it tore me up inside that I couldn't. It wasn't until after I got married that I was finally able to let it out. Even after my Dad died it was all so clinical to me that I didn't cry until one day in church when we were singing one of his favorite songs and it was like a damm broke loose. So I have told Jonathon that it will come and he will be stronger for the journey he has to take for it to happen.

[Dejibo]

Sometimes crying isnt a sign of weakness, but a sign of not feeling safe enough to expose yourself. You have to feel kinda safe, and vulnerable to be able to let it fly. I hope he is at least able to talk about it.

Me? im not a cry person. I see my g/fs crying at the movies, and sniffing at TV, and I just dont have the same level or trigger for tears that most do, but when I do let it go, oh boy! its a gullywhomper.

[Jomar]

He doesn't have to cry, or feel bad that he can't or hasn't yet.

But at some point it will come out, something will trigger it.

[Erin524]

There's no "right way" to grieve.

Some people just dont cry when they grieve. Some people feel sick, some people sleep, some people go thru an entire case of Kleenex when they grieve.

As long as he isnt using drugs or alcohol or other unhealthy substances/actions to deal with his grief, he's probably going to be ok. If the "not crying" is distressing him, maybe he should see a grief counselor or support group or something like that...or just sit and talk about it with other people who knew the deceased person.

[doydie]

Thanks guys. I have told him all this. He comes from a Navy family. His Dad was a strict disciplinarian and other than being very angry and showing that in a totally unhealthy way to him and all his family, I'm not sure how much actual love he got. He got unconditional love from my Mom. No matter what he was doing, drugs, alcahol, anger, running away, he knew he could call Mom. It was such a burden for him to carry her casket. He feels like there is something mentally physically, chemically wrong that he can't express it. I guess I will just try to be there and listen. He is living with a girl and they have a very temptious relationship. Always fighting, not physically. But eventually their little baby will pick up on it.