sorry I missed the post. finally figured out how to delete my over full box. I am thinking about you this morning. As far as those nut jobs go that don't get it, I don't give them the time of day. I try to keep around folks who do get it, and that brings me the most comfort. I am here for you. ginnie

Usually before a visit with a friend or relative, I send them a copy of "The Spoon Theory." I add a simple explanation that although I do not have Lupus, many of the symptoms are the same. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/ar...-spoon-theory/

It gives the reader a real sense of understanding that I cannot usually convey nearly as well.

And as for strangers, I just let it go because the odds of me seeing strangers more than once is not worth a negative reaction.

Anyone talking to me in any given setting may wonder what is wrong with me since my handicap is visible. I try to tell him/her that I have MS. He/she may not know what that really means (I was not familiar with MS before my dx) but it does answer the question of why I walk the way I do.

I also arrange my face into a smile.People listen better with they perceive friendliness.

It turns "idiots" into insightful people. And it makes your own world just a little better. Try it. Since it works for me, it can work for you.

The "spoon" theory is the best I have ever read. Anyone in cronic pain, or has disability should read this. thank you for passing this valuable resource to Neuro Talk. ginnie

I'll try it. Most of the clods dolts and imbeciles are my family.

Let me know the response after you send them the link. I hope it gives them an insight, especially when it comes to the fatigue factor. Plus the article comes from someone else's voice/perspective so it is easier to "hear."

Relatives are often too close to actually listen to blood relations! Funny how that happens...

Don't give them power over you. Walk away or remember that they aren't in your skin. You know better.

Last resort...get a really good, really simply term book for them to read. If they read it; answer questions graciously. If they refuse to read it; remind them that not every person does what they "look" like they can do. Jeffry Daimler, I'm told, looked perfectly "normal."

It's sad, really.