[doydie]

My MIL is on Medicaid and in a nursing home. She ahs been on Medicaid for as long as I have known her, over 40 years. We got a call from the nursing home today saying she has over $2000 in her personal account there and we need to spend $1000 today or she could really be in trouble with Medicaid! When she was at $1500 they told us that we needed to spend some money but we didn't really understand the repercussions. The kept on saying we would have to give it back. So we had been working on trying to convince her on thin gs she might want. But when you have been on SS and Medicaid most of your adult life the kind of money we were talking about is just not in her realm of thinking. So today we just went out and spent money. I told my husband that if you set a woman lose in the mall with the mission of spending one grand that I could do it! She wanted a diamond ring with more than just a little bit of carat. She loves bling. So we found a 1/2 carat ring that is basically a lot of little diamonds that total of 1/2 carat. Also I found several real nice Alfred Dunner seperates at JC Penny.So we spent about $850. She asked me how much I spent on 6 items of clothing and I just told her I wasn't going to tell her and gave her a kiss instead.

[ANNagain]

That is the best kind of emergency!
ANN

[NurseNancy]

oh doydie,

i hope no one steals the ring in the nursing home.
that's the 1st thing i thought reading your post.

[doydie]

That's the first thing we warned her about. She has had a ring stolen off her finger while she was sleeping there one night. She is in another wing now. In the other wing they had an extremely demented patient that wandered at all hours in and out of rooms. So MIL is away from her now. But she has had $100 stolen out of a pouch she wears around her neck. As far as I know the only people who knew she had that was the business office when they let her check it out. They did a formal investigation and have returned that money which leads me to believe it was an inside job. I just wonder about her mental health that she is asking for so many things right now. Her latest is 6 silky padded bras. She is 82 year old woman long!!!! I told her not to have any huge expectations over the effect she is going to get with these. 6 silk pair of underwear, she wears diapers but wants to put the panties on over them. She has worn diapers for as long as I have known her and I have been her DIL for over 40 years. 2 long silky lacey gowns to sleep in, and a faux fur coat. I think they should be evaluated by her psyciatrist but my husband says as long as she has the money to spend it and she wants it, let her buy it. Yeah, but it's me doing the buying. We went to the mall today because in my rush to get her shopping doen the other day I didn't get some sizes right. So we spent 2 hours at the mall again. Well I shopped, my husband followed. And I still don't have the gowns, bras or panties. A 44B isn't easy to find!!!

[aussiemom]

Have you tried Victorias Secret for any of this?

[doydie]

Originally Posted by aussiemom

Have you tried Victorias Secret for any of this?

No we haven't. I'll look online. We did find 2 bras at Sears. I talked to her today and she really thinks she is going to get married and that's why she wants this stuff. She wanted to make sure the gowns I get are sexy!!!!!!! Whenever a male employee pays attention to her she thinks it is personal and not just a job. They know now not to have a male doing anything at all for her. But she thinks that this male who was taking care of her and now transferred to another unit is going to come back and get her and they will be married. I think we should talk to the social worker about it. i think she has a real problem but my husband and his brother just say she is having fun, she has the money and if she wants to dream then let her. It makes her happy. The nurse in me sees something more going on.

[Erika]

The nurse in me sees something more going on.

I tend to agree with you there Doydie.
It is always hard to know where to draw the line in such situations, but maybe husband and BIL might consider that the 'Fun' will end when mom is all dressed up and has no interested male visitors...and no place to go?

This must be especially hard for you; trying to keep everyone happy.
In my thoughts and prayers .

With love, Erika

[doydie]

Thanks Erika. I just see something more pathological going on here. You read articles all the time about watching out for elderly relatives when they are doing iratical spending. This is irratical. Now she has been married a total of 4 times. 3 of them were to fellow mental patients.

[putterfit]

Doydie,

Sure sounds like you have your hands full with your shopping. I would hope that your trailer is at least carrying the bags for you.

I am a bit confused, I have been under the impression to qualify for Medicaid that you could not have any assets or accounts that worth more than $2,000. I just recently qualified for Medicaid. I was required to send my checking account statement to the state office to show them when my balance fell below $2,000. The people at the nursing home that I was in at the time told me that I could open them to make sure that checking account balanced remained under $2000.

I am guessing the her social security check along with any others go to her nursing home account and that he home takes their money from that. I just do not get that you had to get her assets down to $1000.

One other thing and I have not checked this out but my sister told me that I could also put $2000 into an account to help cover the costs of my funeral. It might be worthwhile to check out your states and the federal requirements it may save you from spending money needlessly.

Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for the accuracy of the above information to MS brain Fog.

Mike

[doydie]

Thanks Putterfit. She already has her burial and funeral costs all paid for. The nursing home doesn't like it to go over $1000, they said the limit is $1500 but they start watching the residents account when it is over 1G. Her other son and my husband are now submitting all checks for the supplies we all get her such as Cokes, snacks, toiletries, etc. We had just been paying all that ourselves to save her from having to pay for it but we found out that she needs to be paying it. And it makes her feel good to be paying it.