There are two acquaintances in my local MS support group.

K- is secondary progressive, and in a scooter. Her husband died when she was 40 and she has had a bout of colon cancer. She embraces life with a great attitude. Sure she has periods of anger and depression after she is human- but the underlying blueprint of her life is of joy and acceptance. She crochets caps for preemies and does needlepoint projects for her nieces and nephews.

A-is relapsing remitting and she has mild to moderate disability. She has a cane, uses a scooter in big box stores, has fatigue, numbness and tingling. She is perpetually unhappy. She does not seem to understand or accept the realities of having MS. She does very little to support herself in terms of wellness. Her underlying blueprint is defeatist.

It took me awhile to understand their differences and I think I do. K has a loving and strong support system, family, friends and others. While A often speaks of a very cold and distant family structure. Her friends are few and it seems that love is not a big part of her life.

My thought is that the greater the love-factor the better one can deal with MS, irrespective of the severity.

I agree MJ, yes a good support system is soooo
important for a happy healthy life. It doesn't have
to be close Family. My strong Family support system,
over the past 20 years has, one by one, passed away.

I still have DD, DSSons and Grands, a few other
Family members and a couple of friends. My biggest
support now, comes from strangers, who have
become close friends, through this wonderful place
called NeuroTalk.

Suggest to your down in the dumps friend to join
an online support group. There she may find friends
who understand and care, who may bring her out
of her funk.

I want to be K. A lot of the time, I'm A.

When I'm unhappy, I can snap out of it. When I'm depressed, it isn't that easy.

agree entirely!! a support system is essential no matter the source.

Online is a great start!

Sometimes Family/close friends can suck at support.
Some just don't understand and others think you're
a malingerer or hypochondriac.... and some don't
shiv a git.

Here, we know better and care better..

I sometimes wonder, though, if those who are more depressed have that part of the brain affected by the disease process. Although I totally agree a strong support system is in itself a form of treatment for this crummy disease...

Absolutely true. Part of our support system can
be and in my case, is a proper AD.

It's been my experience that some people are unhappy anytime things don't go exactly their way, whether they have MS or not. They choose to make themselves and others around them miserable with their whining and complaining.

Some are better mentally prepared to deal with new challenges and concepts that affect them? Others frightened and confused by challenges? People can build walls that limit them in their own minds.

well said. In a way they remain their own worst enemy but cannot see that. Sad.

She wins. Met again last night and finally realized that her need to be miserable far exceeds any desire for joy and the effort it might take to achieve it. Man I am a slow learner!! I will continue to support the others.

What a sad victory...