Wow...a profound posting in so many ways, Erika. It is true of so many elderly people that they are against making a fuss or being a nuisance to authority figures like physicians. They also seem to believe anything the doctor tells them, rather than questioning them. My inlaws were like that. I was their advocate.

Bless you for going the extra mile to make sure that they got the care and attention they deserved. You went above and beyond by helping the husband by making sure he got in touch with his daughter and offering to take him back to the hospital.

I was told by a neighbor that many geriatric patients have a case manager who makes sure all doctors are on the same page. This should be a part of any elderly person's health team.

Again bless you and thanks for sharing

I am so grateful that you are in this world. We need more souls like you Erika. You stepped up to the plate, jumped in and did all that you could. You have compassion and empathy. If it were not for you, that woman would have suffered even longer. I do not know what is wrong with our health care system. That kind of thing should never have happened, and the doctors and ER that saw her, did not do their best to address her pain. They flat out didn't listen or do any of the correct things to get a DX . What you told us is out right frightening, as it could happen to any one of us. We are our brothers Keeper Erika, and I will try to walk in your footsteps. Thank you....ginnie

Erika, you are a prime example for people of today's wold to look up to. Today world shows so many people who only care of themselves. We all should always care for on another."...that ye love one another.'' John 15:17 We all are so proud of what you shared with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thanks so much for telling us this true story, Erika.
I have experienced some uncaring situations since I got to be elderly, but of course I experienced them from the age of 17 as well...due to lack of dx....but never so blatant as the uncaring experiences I have experienced since becoming old.
When I had a knee fracture in Seattle, after falling down stairs due to numb feet at my husband's nephew's house, I was in the ER for tests, of course. I was told by the surgeon that I was lucky that I had a nice clean fracture and would only need a hip to foot cast for a couple of months, and I could go on home in a taxi. Home, of course, was my nephew's house where I'd fallen down the stairs, and all possible bedrooms were up the same stairs. My husband had died the year before, so I was alone. Seattle was my former home, where once I'd experienced love and caring, but now it was no longer home. I wept. The surgeon was angry, and said I could go to a motel and order in pizza. He did not take into account that I could not get on or off the toilet with the hip cast on. Or that Medicare would NOT cover this type of fracture in a hospital or nursing home, since presumably the patient is ambulatory on crutches, whether or not she can get onto a toilet without help.
I ended up staying in the hospital overnight because the proper cast was not available until the next morning, and I was in the hospital on observation for a few days, and during that time they put a suicide watch on me without telling me they had done so, but I noticed the nurse sitting all the time at a small desk outside my room. They brought a psychiatrist and four of his "students" to talk to me, and I told him I was not suicidal, as I was a Christian, but I was upset at the prospect of having to use ALL of my savings up by going to a nursing home for two to three months (nursing homes costing $7000-1100 per month). The students had been told to show no emotion, I guess, or else they had no ability to feel compassion...these were psych students.

I did end up in a less expensive assisted living place, but they accused me of falsifying my condition and not telling them I could not get on and off the toilet with the long cast on that held my leg absolutely straight from hip to ankle. I needed nurse assistance to do this. On the sly, some of the nurses helped me, but the management never stopped being angry and accusative. That facility only cost $4000 a month, so I might end up having enough savings left, after two or three months, to get home to New Mexico. There were no friends or relatives to help me, my son just accused me of not planning well, over the phone.
Finally I had what might be interpreted as a TIA from stress, and was taken to a heart hospital. Because of this change in dx, although I probably did not have a TIA, Medicare took care of my bills for the next month in an expensive, luxurious nursing home, which was great and provided good Physical Therapy. But even there, I felt under accusation and suspicion.
Obviously I got home, and my knee is all well. I am very careful not to fall due to numb feet, but obviously it's a threat. I put my safety in God's hands. I wonder if I need to go to an assisted living place, which will be very expensive, but my son WILL help out financially if I cannot cover the whole bill. So far, I'm just doing my best to be healthy until the Lord comes to take me home. And I appreciate ANY compassion anyone shows me, and try to show what compassion I can, when I can.

Mariel,

What a horrific experience! I’m glad that you came through it OK (a testament to your strength and faith), although it surely must have been hard both physically and psychologically to go through it essentially on your own.

I think experiences like that drive so many loose their trust in medical care and ‘medical professionals’.

Why is it so hard for some (not just medical professionals), to understand that people who are receiving medical care are not feeling well and are not at their best?
As well as the medical care, they most often also require support of some kind. Some people will have that support in place through family or friends but others may not.

Ensuring that those who need additional support get it is not so difficult to arrange. All it takes is to ask the person receiving care how they plan on managing, and then taking it from there…in a perfect world.

It seems that those who have been denied it, are the ones most likely to extend it... Compassion.
Like you Mariel.

With love, Erika

OMG, ((((((Muriel)))))), That was just horrible. So glad that
you had the strength to make it through.

Mariel, that was horrible what happened to you. What's so scary about it is that there were family members who could have been more helpful and supportive. I guess that old saying "you can choose your friends but not your family" is true. I'm so glad you're doing well on your own now. I think the fear of becoming dependent on someone else is always lurking in the back of our mind. It's just for us the possibility is so much greater than for those without medical issues.

Kitty, You win today's prize for funny/hilarious by posting the kitten poster .

It rings so true.

I'm still laughing.
Thanks.

With love, Erika

Just read this post. It made me feel so sad thinking about how many people slip through the cracks and have no one to support them in these situations, and also so grateful that you and your friend chose to be their advocates.

Thanks Erika, Sally, and Kitty for your replies to my post about breaking my knee in Seattle.
Yes it was a "horrific" experience yet what an eye-opener. Never again will I trust that needs will be taken care of because we are a humane society. One must take care of one's self as much as one can, using what knowledge and wisdom one finds from doctors and from the internet friends like you. We are not really a humane society, but within this mass of people there are some human beings. Some people think the world is a testing place to see who can become a human being. Like a "matrix"? Looks more like it than I realized.