Hi everyone, just a small grumble for the morning. I'm driving 1 1/2 hours each way to visit my family today. I'm looking forward to it, but am also concerned about having enough energy to drive, as well as visit(who knew talking and listening could be so exhausting).

MY BF suggested I stop by and visit another friend while I'm there. I know it's an innocent statement, but it just shows me he really doesn't get how tiring things are for me. Even the 1 visit will take me all day tomorrow to recover from. Anyway, thanks for listening, needed to tell someone who would understand. Thanks...

Diana

Nope, he won't, Diana. How could he? I know that I could never have imagined myself this way. Sometimes, it's easier to just say, "okay" and let it pass. Feel better, it's frustrating but definitely not the worst case.

There is this story that someone posted...you would think I could remember who or where...but it is about Spoons.

In a short version, it refers to our energy as Spoons. You take a handful of spoons and for every daily act that you perform you take away a spoon. Now that includes waking up-one spoon, getting out of bed-another spoon, walking to the bathroom-another spoon, brushing your teeth-another spoon, getting ready for work-another spoon, and so on and so on. By lunchtime most of our spoons would be gone.

I will try to find that story or maybe someone knows what I am referring to.

I have used that example to explain to my family and close friends what it is like for us to deal with trying to conserve our energy. Maybe you could use that for you BF.

I hope this helps some. I know I explained it to my ex and lets just say he didn't get it...that is why he is now the ex.

Diana,

The "Spoons" Description can be found at this website:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/

-Vic

I'm sorry you're having trouble getting your bf to understand.

Fatigue is my worst enemy. I can be running full speed, wide awake then all of a sudden nothing wants to work and I can't stay awake. Luckily I have an understanding dh who encourages me to be sure to rest and not over do it. But even so I take advantage of situations sometimes to remind him what my fatigue is like.

Like when he had the flu and was complaining about aching and feeling so worn out and tired, instead of saying I understand I told him to multiply that feeling by at least 10 and deal with it on a daily basis. To be ready for it to come out of the blue and knock you down then we'll talk about it. lol That made him stop and realize just what I go through.

Susan

What AMN/Cindy said, (((((((((((((Diane)))))))))))))

Thanks Vic for saving my brain!!!!

diana, for a little er, um, "therapeutic session" .......

you can hop over and visit our little friend: Empathy Man.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...ht=Empathy+Man

you might find it entertaining to inflict debilitating fatigue upon him, sit back, and laugh.

it gets all your frustrations out, while you wait, and hope that your bf learns to understand.

my hubby *usually* doesn't press me to do things, when I say "I'm tired"

but sometimes I wish he could just be me for a few days.

then, he'd REALLY "get it"

Diana ~Unless you live it, I don't think a person DOES get it. My DH claims to understand how fatigued I can get, but he also knows that I choose to stay home more b/c of it. So, sometimes he'll mention that I should think about going to coffee, lunch or whatever w/some of my friends.

I think he just wants me to "get out more", so I can enjoy myself. But, like I said, I don't really think they totally understand..

Hope your visit w/your family was nice and that you'll bounce back quicker. take care.

A couple of good links for him to read:

http://www.deannandlenny.com/feeling.htm

http://www.lamarfreed.net/fatiguems.html

Cherie