Hi Barbo.

Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss. Pam sounds like a wondeful person.

Glad to have met you, and hope to read more of your posts.

Welcome barbo. I am sorry for your loss. I have often said that the whole family has the disease. I think you are one person that might agree with that. Did any of her writing and poetry show her life with MS?

Pam was such a unique individual...but as one very proud Aunt..I just have to search, copy & paste her reaction to the MS dx...*grin

Meet Pam...

And you thought pMS was bad....

It's been a week and a day since I was told the preliminary diagnosis.
M.S.
It sounds like some ironic payback for radical feminist ideals
But it's Multiple Sclerosis.
A name which still appears to be spelled wrong, no matter how many time I write it.

It's a label laced with doomfilled images of wheelchairs and dependency.
A pair of words that conjurs up loss and grief and so many fears I am unable
to name them all.

And yet after having devoured two rather comprehensive books on the subject; turning 35 years of my personal life perspective around,
and weighing my words with the dozen or so friends I've shared the news with..
I find that despite an understandable case of shell shock,
I'm actually in pretty good shape. Whatever that may mean from moment to moment.

No one who loves me enough to be honest will tell you that I am anything other than a control freak.
So it cannot be anything less than a humbling experience to now find myself linked inexorably with a disease that, if nothing else , is known for its unpredictable nature.

Right now I am numb from my chest down.
Though I have regained some feeling in my thighs.
My feet and fingers burn with the simple exertions of walking, standing and
writing.
Tomorrow I may be fine.
Tomorrow I may not be able to walk.

This is a test. This is only a test of your central nervous system.
If this were an actual emergency you would be instructed to...
What? Panic?

The M.S. and I are partners now. It may, if I am lucky enough to go into a long remission, become a silent partner. But it's here with me.
I feel the need to be introduced.
I crave some opportunity for influence with this interloper.
But this is where my journey really begins.

This is where I meet myself in the loss of control.
This is where the mystical quality we call strength solidifies into something
positive and I get to built my character some more. Oh goodie.
Is this also where I get to throw dishes?

Pamela Ogden Sparks Novenber 28, 1997

Thanks Alffe for posting Pam's poem. It says alot about her. Thank you everybody for your responses.

What a blessing she was

Thanks Alfie and Barbo for sharing your special Lady with us. I can see why you miss her so..

Hello barbo! So happy to meet you! Pam sounds like a beautiful spirit and I'm so glad you've decided to share her talent and memory with us!

MSacorn
I have Curious to thank for my avatar! In Feb. of 07 I went to Florida and fell in love with those mystical, gentle creatures.

No. except for her private, personal journals.