Hello, Trica and welcome to NWMS - LOL

My DD has been known to give money to her friends because they didn't have lunch money and she didn't want them to be hungry. She, on the other hand goes hungry.

I completely understand the panic and breathing when you wake up not knowing if your child is home.

My DS18 also has a midnight curfew. There is no way I can stay up so we turn on the outside light (which he turns off). There are times I wake up for no reason and glance to see if the light is off if it's still on and past midnight I go into panic mode.

I usually head straight for the front door to see if his car is there, then calm down.

We have a security system and I have been putting it *on watch* so I can actually hear when he comes in then he *arms* the system. I have found I am flying out of bed less :rolleyes:

Your children sound wonderful ;)

tip for the curfew checkin's.

set an alarm clock for the time kiddo is supposed to be home.

place where said kiddo can turn it off and you can hear it if it goes off.

if alarm goes off, said kiddo is in deep doo-doo. if not, you get to sleep peacefully. :D

takes some time to get used to, but worth it for everyone's sake.

So, is everyone tired of hearing about my children yet :p :rolleyes:

I got a call last night from DS18 boss checking to see if I had heard from him. She didn't want him taking this trip and has been worried. She is from Chihuahua, Mexico.

One of my DS friends stopped in to his work and she asked him if he had heard from Shawn...No.

Anyway, I told her no news is good news. He didn't take his cell phone - reception would be iffy and they were told to minimize personal belongings.

I think it's so sweet of her to be so concerned about him. She treats him like one of her own kids and even brags about him. She came to his graduation.

His boss will be as relieved as his dad and I when he get home.

A MIDNIGHT curfew for an 18 yr old? :eek: Hmmm . . . now I'm gonna have to give you a hard time.

Do you know that your son is old enough to serve in the armed forces, and to drink in bars in some provinces here?

I grew up in a home with a drunk dad (who died when I was 11) and a schizophrenic mom. They didn't have a clue on a good day. I moved out of the house when I was 15, and cleaned, cooked and did laundry for 12 people, while I continued attending high school full-time. I used to have to spend my Saturday hauling garbage bags, by bus, to the laundry-mat.

I recall getting into this conversation with a b/f several years ago, who had a 17 yr old son at the time. I asked him what he was doing at that age, and he said he was in his first year of the police academy. He was worried about his son being out past midnight yet he lived away from home and thought he could protect the public from murderers & rapists at that same age?

I do worry when my kids travel, because they are not in their own environment. And, my airhead daughter has less freedoms then my oldest did at the same age. BUT, I give them as much freedom and independance as I can bear to, since they are only a few years from being the doctors, police, forensic scientists of the world.

Midnight for an 18 yr old? I think I'd run away. :D:p

Cherie

Lady - it does seem kind of ridiculous but . . .Here the drinking age is 21 so the bars are out of the question. There is also a State curfew which I can't remember what it is and that DD is 18 it wouldn't apply to her but it would apply to some of her friends. There is absolutely nothing for these kids to do at night.

This became very clear to me one night last week. DD18 had a friend "Mary" come spend the night and she brought one of her friends "Ann". I knew that DD18 was not keen on "Ann" and really didn't hang out with her. I never knew the reason until that night. DD18, Mary, and Ann all went to a friends house close by. They came home and wanted to go up to the pool and swim. I really didn't think anything of it. They got back to my house around 12:30 or so.

Around 1:15 in the morning DD18 came in to my room and told me that "Ann" was throwing up. I walked out of my room and my house smelled like a brewery as well as throw up. I freaked. DD18 and "Mary" had not been drinking as I observed their behavior as well as neither one of them smelled like alcohol. Here I was with a very drunk as well as sick kid in my house. I ended up call her mom. Her mom wouldn't come pick her up nor would she tell me what she wanted me to do with her drunk kid. She said she would rather her stay at my house as opposed to coming home and passing out at her house. This girl put me in such a bad position.

In speaking with DD18 and "Mary" they were saying that kids just have nothing to do here unless they have a lot of money. Most the time DD18, Mary, and other friends hang out at each others houses playing on the computer, video games, etc. But the told me that there are lots of kids like Ann and worse.

Turns out Ann is in a lot of trouble. She got a DUI, is in rehab for alcohol abuse, and was now looking at possible inpatient rehab. This girl is only 16! I did have a talk with Ann about the position that she put me in as well as how upsetting it was to DD18, Mary, and DD16 who woke up in the mist of this.

I now understood why DD18 was not keen on this girl. DD18 really doesn't like to be around that crap and drunk people. She said she's getting more tolerant of it but she still doesn't like.

So why a midnight curfew? Since everything for these kids closes between 10 and midnight, any thing after that would spell trouble.

BTW - Since that night, "Mary's" mom (who is a friend of mine) and I have been brainstorming for ideas for these kids. We have a couple of ideas and are looking at places that will "buy" in to it.

Yeah, I realize the law is 21 . . . but I've seen those Florida spring break parties. :p

My point with mentioning about being legally permitted in bars (here) and the armed forces, was only that at age of 18 we generally view our "children" as adults.

I think there is a happy medium, somewhere between not caring and being over-protective. ;)

Cherie

I totally agree. If DD18 called me and said some thing like . . . Well, last night for instance. She called around 10ish and said that she was with her friends from work and that they were going to go to a movie. She was going to be out later than midnight and that was fine.

There is a happy medium and DD18 will let me know if I have crossed the line of being overprotective. LOL. As she put it to me once, "Mom, I really need to go there and make my own mistakes. Then you can punish me." LOL. Actually, as flaky and flighty as she can be, I trust DD18.

Cherie, you have me crackin' up. :D

Yes, I am aware of everything you mentioned.

My DS was trying to get into the military - they don't want him because he has exercise induced asthma.

The midnight curfew is a general accepted time for us and him. He can call us and let us know he will be out past midnight. Sometimes he is home at midnight, sometimes earlier and once in a great while we get a call he will be out later.