this question has a lot of interesting aspects to it.

see, with all these animals around, I'm never *really* alone, I talk, and sing to them, feed and water them, and care for them.

I find I sometimes prefer animals to people... this coming from a mom who raised four kids (3 mine, one DBFs), plus cats, dogs, school carpools, TaeKwon Do, Scouts, and music lessons... I was busy busy busy, and rarely had time to think, always efficient, planning ahead, and enjoying 90% of it...

hustle, bustle, working fulltime, meetings, working on political campaigns, and school projects, it was organized chaos at times, and always full of people.

but I had a lot of energy back then, and couldn't DO that nowadays... also, I'm in a lot of intermittent pain, and I prefer to be alone for that, as well as the soul-crushing fatigue.

my Spanish is getting better, but not yet conversational-level, so we don't socialize a lot here in the jungle.

even though English is the official language of Belize, we live far inland (almost to Guatemala) so, "official" doesn't matter so much out here, LOL !!

I'm newly married (one year this month!) so, mi esposo and I are still in that "honeymoon phase" which doesn't leave me quite enough solitude, and I find I REALLY enjoy it when he goes off for his errands or chores... it's a secret guilty pleasure.

in fact, I sent him off today on the feed run to the Mennonite enclave with the excuse that I was too tired (when actually, I *could* have pushed myself to go...) simply because I wanted to hang out in the hammock with a novel... shhhhhhhhhhhhh !!)

I find that it takes more effort for me to plan and arrange things, and I do my best (or at least, *better*) thinking, when I'm alone, and can slowly think things through....

but being left at home alone is never lonely, the birds outside never stop singing, and I have a new (lame - rescued) baby peacock to keep me company, and sometimes need to go outside to referee disputes between the geese and the ducks, lol.

so, to sum up, I'd say... my desires are for about 50% solitude, and in reality, I get about 40%, so I'm very content with that level.

my little guy started school last year. first time for some alone time for me in years. the greatest joy, was him having his own life experiences that he came home and shared with me each day. the bonding is even stronger.

the school day will zip by. you will be surprised at how fast.

one thing to look forward to....no one at the other side of the bathroom door. get 2 cookies out of the cookie jar and you actually get to eat both!

summer comes around fast and you are back to 24/7. i love my monkey's, but i think i have only had maybe 2 hours to myself all summer.

i think of solitude more as extended time. i'm not sure how i would handle that. i really miss working at the club. being around lots and lots of people each day. working from home for me, means the office is open 24/7.

i think if i did have the real alone time, i would get back to my art. i miss it.

I have been reading all of your, thoughtful, responses and doing some thinking..(did ya hear that noise? ) I've been wondering, why this about face for me. I used to live in fear of being left alone, and now that I am, I like it..

My DH knew me better than I knew myself. I would ask him to please let me leave this world first and he would say..."you are so much more self sufficient than I and I would be so much more alone and lonely than you". I know, now, how right he was.

At first, though, I really suffered from the loss of him and felt so alone.. I think, that now, liking my solitude is an unconscience sign of inner acceptance of my situation. First the MS, the losing contact with friends and then DH's death, sorta forced me into acceptance. It was either that or wallow and that is not me.

I do enjoy my alone time now, and even resent it a little when someone so rudely interupts it.. Like a phone call from a salesperson..

Besides, I'm never really alone...you are all here, in my livingroom, with me..

I was left alone a lot as a kid and wonder if that is part of the reason I love my independence. I have also always worked with the public which I know makes me want to be left alone on my down time, lol.

My thoughts are that as long as we are content there is nothing wrong. It would be unfortunate if we were lonely and didn't make some changes though.

I live alone and also enjoy my alone time. In fact when I go home to visit family, they understand it when I say I need some alone time. They are all that way too. I will at times want to be around people and if a friend is not available, I will go out to eat by myself. But I always take a book too. I also go to movies alone.

Sally, I sooooo understand what you mean. But for me, it was the loss of my DH, the loss of my parents, then the MS came along.

This all sort of forced me, too, into acceptance of everything. I'm not one to wallow, either. It takes too much energy!

I'm not going to fret over the fact that I enjoy my time alone. I look at it as a blessing. I can be alone but I'm not lonely. Had you told me this 7 years ago I'd have laughed.

Like you said, we've got all these friends right here 24/7!

I'm another one who couldn't quite decide how to answer this. Give me a good book, or leave me alone with my computer and I really don't want anyone else around. I think if I was alone every night I would eventually start to feel lonely but occassionally is OK.

I hate crowds and tend to shy away from going anywhere where people group together .....like shopping centers, cinemas etc. I think given free choice I'd be a loner, but as I'm married and have a family, that isn't a real option.

Sometimes I wonder if my preference towards solitude isn't impinging on my life activities. There have been more times than I can remember that I've cancelled plans that we've made, invitations, and appointments, all because I preferred to stay home by myself.

I prefer the "aloneness" myself. Heck, I don't even answer the door anymore. It's usually just a salesperson or some religious whacko group anyway. I know when to expect someone I want to see or a UPS delivery.

I don't really see it as being anti-social. It takes me so long to get up and make my way to the door with my walker, that most "knockers" have already gone anyway. So I look at it as saving energy.

How about someone on the same side of the bathroom door as you??

I know he is going to have fun. Im sure I am too, its just a bigggg
adjustment for me. but Hey......I adjusted to having kids didnt I???
Im sure it will be okay.

Thanks for the support.

Sorry Kelly....back to your regular scheduled thread.

I remember when my oldest went to "big" school for the first time. 1st grade......it was harder on me than it was on him!! He was excited. I was terrified. But I didn't let him know it.

I remember that first day he rode the bus - when I heard that bus turn the corner at 2:30 PM and come to a stop at the end of my driveway I was so excited I could hardly contain myself!! Just watching him jump off that step from the bus and trudge up the driveway with his Power Ranger book bag that was as big as he was.....made me want to cry (happy tears)! But I didn't. He wouldn't have understood and he had such fun at school - he always had a picture or something to show me. I enjoyed those days so much.