Brain you gotta be doing something wrong if they keep moving back in though...we gotta get them out for good...do they pay rent when they come back..??
My hubby once he turned 18, and still lived at home...knew his parents were still paying on the mortgage and so he offered to start paying a rent fee...like $100. a week...that way towards the food..and help...

I have once moved into my parents house...that was when we made the big move back to MI from Massachusetts...lived there just 3months as in that time frame we both found full time work in this hard to find work area..and bought the house.....the 3 months was long enough for us and for them I am sure..as we had three of the kids....
good luck,sarah

AWW Cathy~ We miss you when your'e not around here. I am still chuckling over your rules. Your posts always make me smile.

My oldest wanted to move back in recently. he is 25 and found out life is expensive, and has rules! he wanted to move up here in the back woods, and away from the city he is in, so of course "its only temporary, and I will be gone in six weeks! I will have a job, and my own place in six weeks."

Now I LOVE my son, but no no no no and double no. instead of hurting the kids feelings I gave him goals that must be met before coming.

1. ALL bills must be paid off. No light bills chasing you, or sears card people haunting my house for you. If you havent paid off your bills, then you have no business quitting your job!

2. I wont accept rent, IF you can prove to me that the normal money spent on paying me rent is going into a savings/checking account with designs on a deposit, and rental agreement.

3. your resume MUST be updated, and you must show me that this area is seeking the types of jobs you seek. Do your home work BEFORE you drop your entire life to come here, only to find out that no one is hiring and 25 weeks later, you are crying about how bad the job market is with your feet on MY coffee table.

4. NO overnight guests! I will provide a TWIN bed for you. No air mattress or sleeping bags to accomodate others. If you are only here for six weeks, any sweeetie pie in the wings can wait that long for you, OR you can go stay at HER place!

5. we are CLEAN here. (he knows what that means)

Can you believe it? he didnt come! He spent six weeks talking about it. got some of his bills up to date, and even did his resume. Had high hopes of being a forrester type person up here in the woods. Can you believe they didnt want to hire him on the spot with NO college degree? he whined about having SOME colllege. what does it matter if he had not finished? His G/f had a fit about a twin bed here, and what a prude his mom is. Her parents said NO to him coming to share her twin bed too!

So, I expressed my disappointment, but never had to deal with the drama that came with him moving in. HA! God knows I love that kid, but holey mary mother of God I know why they eat their young in the wild. He is just to the point that he is thinking "maybe I dont know everything."

you made me laugh. thanks

This is ultra-funny to me, Dej, because I distinctly remember how smart my parents suddenly got when I was 25. They had been getting so stupid and ignorant since I was about 15, then at 25, when I needed investment advice and career direction, it was like a lightbulb went on in their brains!

OMG, I could have written most of this! In the last year 2 of my son's with wives's moved back home, older ex marine did not stay long (we now charge room and board) so anyway as soon as one moved out, crisis strikes and baby boy with new wife with her 3 y/o child moves in, both got jobs, plan was to stay until enough money was saved for a place to live. Well Dh up and has heart attack, followed by bypass surgery so talk goes around to what if....I said that if he did not make it, I would leave and let baby boy live here with new wife rent free provided he maintained home...so they decided what the hell, why leave if one day we will die and they get house, so in edition to not doing anything other then pay small amount of R&B which includes car insurance and cell phones, all utilities and there are many, they hate our 2 furbabies, will not clean up anything except the bedroom they use and then she brings in puppy and Dh is having a conniption fit, and what dh don't know is baby boy intends to get huge lab to tie up outside ( which everyone knows dh does not believe in tying a animal up outside and leaving him alone 90 % of the time and I agree) and we both know if they can't take care of themselves so who will take care of extra animals?? Not me...I told them they must keep it in their room, now they both hate me, calls my 2 tiny friends bitches and I only told dh he needed to sit them down and talk to them because I am afraid to tell him baby boys plans...( I will no doubt get the fall out) and I want to scream, "We are not dead yet"!!! If anyone has a clue of what I can do please help me?? Dh does not want to let go of his babies (the boys) and I say cut those apron strings ASAP! I love all my kids but enough is enough...I can't continue living with slobs that are the most ungrateful people I will ever know! sigh. I really hate my life right now!

Junie, I am sorry about your situation. I say keep doing what your doing to make their life miserable while they live with you. Maybe try the over mothering thing like knowing where they are at all times, etc. Having bypass surgery does not mean your hubby is going to die so they can get that idea out of their little heads. That is your home, period. Sometimes we say things in the heat of a crisis and regret it later. You really need to tell your husband their plans so maybe he'll see that they are starting to get out of hand.

I think the ideas floating in this thread are wonderful, funny and seem to be working!

I must say, my daughter lived with me not too long ago...she did all the cooking and I did the cleaning afterwards...no problem with her. My BIL lived with us for a while and I wanted to shoot him on the spot!! He did some of the cooking, but he made the biggest mess all over the house, so did my SS and my nephew that lived with us.

My rule now is...NO, NO NO NO and I don't care NO!! I also don't care about your sob story that you lost your job...your job is finding a job...so no, no no!

Yep, I'm heartless, yep, rusted water pipes, but the answer is still no.

Which is why, when I was away at school and my DD and her now ex-BF and their son were living at my house with my DS and H, I told my H that if DD and BF and kid didn't move out, I wasn't moving back home but would be getting an apartment of my own nearby. He had a choice--me or DD etc. He told DD to get her own place. She resented it for a long time, but I didn't care. The stress of trying to live in such a hostile environment was too much for me. I couldn't handle it.

You and DH need to get on the same page--the same feelings--about all this Junie. Then you BOTH confront baby boy and his wife and lay the rules down. Then YOU and DH stick to them! If baby boy and wife don't, then they're outta there. Give them a time frame for it to work and if it doesn't by that date, then you tell them bye bye and MEAN it--both of you. That way, baby boy and wife have to blame both YOU and DH rather than just you. You know they're going to blame someone anyway and it won't be them.

Nothing's for sure--you don't HAVE to leave them anything, including the house. They're taking advantage of you BIG TIME and your DH needs to see that. He's not right now, which isn't good.

Hang in there. I say have a heart to heart with DH and explain how the stress of it all is affecting YOU and because of that too--him. It's only going to get worse.

I know what you're going through. It's NOT fun.

I would tell them that the stress of them living there is going to hurt yours and your DH's health......and it won't be a lie, either.

I'm really sorry you're having to contend with this. I will never understand the ungratefulness of people.

Thank everyone,
after being ignored all day by both my son and hi Dw I went ahead and told dh our son's plans and how they have treated me and ignored me and had no plans to tell dh about the 2nd dog and dh went off, said he was gonna tell them both dogs have to go! That may do it, and to beat it all, I bought dh a Westie after his dog died Xmas day on Vet's advice, well he rejected him so I was gonna put him up for sale and baby boy says I want him, so dh said ok, but he would not allow the dog in his room and did nothing at all to take care of him, so since my dogs are both females he did the marking all over my house, plus was not housebroken as I was told, so here I was with a hyper dog that bonded with me and dh since his owner ignored him completely so I got fed up and sold him for a fraction of what he was worth and what I paid (baby boy never paid a dime or bought dogfood, I am sure you get the picture) and that was not 2 months ago...what has changed? I refused to clean up after anymore animals, they won't even wash a dish, and it was not 30 minutes after her son (4) and pup was dropped off un me friday that I walked into the den and slid in dog pee and fell again, landing on same left knee and twisted my back and have been in bed since! They did not say one word, not once have they asked me if I am ok, and I am furious and if I had somewhere to go I would be gone now,but I can't give up my furbaby and I am disabled and I am praying dh is mad enough to stick to his guns on this issue because I am ready to blow sky high! Dh says he will tell our son the way things are tomorrow, and I do know dh is as mad as me and I feel a bit guilty that I am secretly hoping they will get mad enough to move out!