It is never, ever appropriate. Find another non violent way to discipline your kids. I have this opinion due to the fact that I had a father who hit us (especially my brothers) when he was in a bad mood. I remember being hit in the face once when I was about 12 because I was sitting in the chair that he wanted to sit in. I had a mark on my face for a few days. He would take my brothers outside and beat them with his belt. That only happened to me once. He was also fond of kicking us and our dog. My mother to this day likes to pretend that none of this ever occurred.

Sorry, I guess this question is a hot button topic for me. I was never able to truly forgive my father even before he died.

same for me - my ex spanked my oldest DD once and I will never forget it. I was so upset with him. I feel there are other ways to punish that are just as affective.

I agree, Sox.....a gentle smack on the behind is called for when kids are in danger...like darting out in the street. You gotta get their attention somehow. I don't consider that "spanking" out of anger.....you've got to get your point across.....and save their life!

I never spanked my boys, either. Now, I was lucky in that they both had pretty mellow personalities as children and would listen to me. But, I found a good way to get them to calm down and listen to me if they were upset. I got down to their level (height) and whispered. They had to stop and be quiet in order to hear me. Once they did, I spoke to them in a normal tone and never made them feel threatened or scared. It seemed to work. Had they darted out in front of a car I think I would have to resort to popping them on the bottom to get my point across.....that's dangerous and life threatening behavior and they have to understand that it's not acceptable.

I cannot stand to see anyone hit a dog (or any animal for that matter) either.

So far, non-spankers are in the minority but in the majority in posting.

I spanked my kids. I believe it is appropriate only under certain circumstances. If I could do it all over again I wouldn't have spanked as much as I did. Hindsite 20/20. It changed as I grew up.

I don't think spanking is effective. I think it causes more problems than it could ever possibly solve so, I believe it's inappropriate.

It's an act of desperation and frustration. All it ever conveyed to me as a child was that my parent (mom) was out of control. I can understand that parents sometimes find themselves at wits end, that's forgivable, but hitting and shaming a child never really amounts to anything positive, no lessons are learned beyond the fact that it's okay to hit (or be hit by) the people you love. There's always a better way, I don't care how bratty a child can be.

I think that's because those who have spanked may feel if they admit it some will tell them how wrong they are. I don't think we should judge those who choose to raise their kids one way or the other. Spanking is a personal decision when raising children and one that can be argued for days on days. Abuse on the other hand is never right and that can even be argued unfortunately as to what constitutes abuse.

On that note, I am out.

I think there's a big difference between spanking {open hand on rear - more of a pop than a hurtful "hit"} - and hitting a kid when the adult is frustrated, out of control or " loses it".

*running into to street* - yep had to spank one for that & explained why he could have been hit by a car...

I think so much more is involved in the whole discipline process like setting examples, respect, follow through, explanations of good/bad behavior and why, etc...
the old when, where, why and how of spanking, or not comes into play too.

whacking or hitting out of anger or frustration is a bit no no- that goes without saying...

I'm afraid of using the OK to spank that allow OC type parenting. Or to emotionally abuse the kids. I really annoyed me dad once. he was not a spanker but I saw the anger in his eyes, at me and fear of loss of self control and I truely terrified of him for a second. He did not spank me but child I was, had he spanked me, my hurt and densiveness following, would be fear evoked. He did not spank me, I could see the lesson while not cowering in fear. I think the outcome better. I wacked DD's 4 year old bottom once when she mooned me going up the stairs, me 2 steps below so it was in my face. I feel bad to this day.
I did not react like that, no smack when 3 yr old DD "drew" on my 24 hours old new car with a rock. She was just a kid, but mooning was disrespectful and pushed my buttons . The smack left no red, don't thinnk it was real painful, I was still in control but I regret it to this day.