I understood that, B2, no problem. There ARE those who would be lovely to try that on.

Maybe you should try the, "You're right. I shouldn't stay home all the time. It's so much more fun when I go out and collapse in public. After all, who doesn't love an ambulance ride. What I really didn't want to tell you was that I can't go because I've been taking a surgery course by mail and tonight's my first test. I'm doing a hernia operation on myself. If you like, you can help."

Or the, " Wow, that's terrible!! I never realized that you felt like that. After you telling me this, I don't think you should go out to do what you're saying we should do. I'd feel horrible to know that you were in so much distress because you wanted me to go out with you."

Explaining is hard. It was never easy before and it surely is not easy now. It depends on the person. Usually someone close to us may understand, at least to some extent.

Here is what I have learned: there are people who only care about themselves and make an opinion about another person based on their 'little rules', Interesting enough, if you meet that person 10 years later, they have not changed - at all - and have the same opinion of you. They also say the same things, use the same sentences and words as they did before. Boring...

I never liked to play '20 questions'. I respect other people's privacy and know that they will tell me whatever they want when the time is right.

We have a right not to play their games. When there is an invitation, say what you feel at the moment. Very politely, decline and wish them a good time. Smile and leave it at that.

It just might work...

I've even tried the "answer their question with a question" routine. Like, "why do you need to know?" or "why do you ask?". If you can survive the awkward silence that follows that will usually solve the whole problem. I don't like situations like that so I don't use that tactic too often.

But, like Sandy said, those that I really care about know me and my situation and don't hold it against me if I choose not to go out. Those who do......well, I haven't lost anything.

LOL, Blessings. That could work on certain busybody peeps.

My problem is that, my family and friends think I need to get out more. They're right, I do and usually feel good when I do get out, if only to the Doc's.

I wish it weren't soooooo much trouble and soooo much prep., just to go out.. I have explained to my loved ones that I am perfectly content to stay at home but don't quit asking and don't quit coming to see me (call first 'cause I don't always want to see you..)

I get a few invitations from friends of old, who don't understand, but I can't help that.

My family knows by now I have lots of problems so they come see me instead.

I have neighbors that have asked me to go out to do this or that for a few hours and ask why not. Well a few hours w/o a bathroom would be a huge problem plus if the seat in the car is too high or low that's another problem.

I just have to tell them I don't travel well anymore and look sorry - and I'm telling the truth mostly.

I agree with saying, "It's an MS thing. You......wouldn't understand."...but then after you say it hand them a cookie

I'm not giving up my cookies.

Tell them that HIPPA said you didn't need to. lol A supervisor I told I was ill and wouldn't be in for work was rude once.
She demanded to know why I was sick...I told her according to HIPPA...that's all she needs to know that I am too ill to come to work.

I tell my SIL that a lot if she asks how I'm feeling...HIPPA says I don't have to tell ya...of course she know its the 'joke'.

Still, sometimes it would be nice just to tell them exactly why you don't feel like doing something.

LOL...no don't give up the chocolate chocolate chip ones.

Well, it was kinda fun to play out the scenario in my mind, even if I'd probably never actually do that. Trust me, if you knew the people I have in mind, you'd enjoy the fantasy also.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have another cookie and pray about my mean streak.