[knittenkitten]

There are time I feel rotten and would feel better if I could just share how I feel with someone else. It seems like every time I try to talk to someone they turn the conversation back to themselves and start telling me how much they ache or how awful they feel. It has gotten to the point that I just don't say anything anymore. As a result, I have no social supports. What do you do?

[azoyizes]

I've noticed that about a lot of people, turning the conversation back to things about themselves.

I'm lucky in that my DH will listen when I talk to him, at least most of the time. Sometimes, he will begin to tune me out if I talk too long!

I also have a very good friend who will listen. We used to sit beside each other at work, for nine years we did this. There was not much we didn't talk about, and she and I always tried to listen to each other, not interrupt, and it was great. When we moved, we started talking once a week on the phone.

It's quite a relief to have people to talk to like that. Keep looking, maybe you will find someone who knows how to listen. They are out there!

[Kitty]

I mostly come here.....everybody here understands what I'm talking about and can relate. Friends and even family who do not live everyday with MS don't understand. Not their fault.....but they will never get it. Even my own kids who live with me and see how MS affects me act surprised when I can't keep up or have to turn down an invitation.

[soxmom]

Originally Posted by Kitty

I mostly come here.....everybody here understands what I'm talking about and can relate. Friends and even family who do not live everyday with MS don't understand. Not their fault.....but they will never get it. Even my own kids who live with me and see how MS affects me act surprised when I can't keep up or have to turn down an invitation.

me too Kel....noone really understands here at home.....Im glad I have you guys

[PolarExpress]

I can't blame anyone but me if I don't talk to someone. I hate feeling like a high maintenance whiner, so I rarely open up to anyone. I've found this is a really good place to talk, even if it's just to get it all out once in awhile. People here are all good friends, whether we've met or not, and understand better than anyone how it feels. You'll find your person, I'm sure of it!

[tkrik]

For me it depends on what I am talking about. However, I know exactly what you mean about people turning the conversation around. People love to talk about themselves, which is OK with me as I like to listen to what others have to say and it takes my mind off my troubles. But if I really need to talk, I will say hey, I need to talk to you about something can you just listen. Most of the time the person will just listen.

For years now, I keep a notebook/journal and write letters to God. In those letters I express what I am feeling about everything and anything. It really helps and even though he is not here in the physical sense, I get my answers/support/needs in the most amazing ways.

[Aarcyn]

For MS, I come in here. Some people go to MS gatherings with their local MS chapter.

Like you, most people want to relate to you by sharing their own pains. It is their way of showing empathy.

MS can be isolating, especially if one is physically limited.

Here, you will find someone that has the same sx and you will always find someone that will say just the right thing by listening to what you have to say.

[FluteMaker]

i go to my wife. shes my best friend and has always made time for me.
no matter what the problem is shes always got an ear i can bend

[karousel]

Sometimes I will write to my good friend who lives out of state. It is good therapy because I can get out what I need to say. Sometimes I talk with my good friend here but I hate to feel like I am calling and complaining. She will listen and try to understand (she's great because she tries and doesn't pretend she does understand). And other times I will write to my good friend who I communicate with, who also has MS, through e-mail. For the more serious things that are really bothering me I come here. This is where I get unconditional support and encouragement. Plus no matter how wacky it sounds, you all will understand exactly what I am saying!

[SallyC]

You would think my DD and I would talk, since we both have MS, but we don't....not about MS..

I come here, too..