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05-31-2009, 05:21 PM | #1 | |||
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Senior Member
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My 89 year old year, dementia ridden Grandma passed away a couple of days ago. It was best for her and the family that it wasn't prolonged.
I feel guilty because I can't be at her service tomorrow. I'm physically not up for the 1000 mile trip to PA. Worst of all, I realized that I have her wedding ring that I am positive that she would've wanted to be buried with. During the confusion after my mom's death last year my Dad gave my sister and me my mom's jewelry. Somehow I ended up with my Gram's ring because my mom had been keeping it because of Gram's dementia. My Aunt was trying to find it a few months ago when I figured out that the extra gold band in mom's stuff was the missing band. I planned on having my son take it with him to PA when he visits next month. My Dad didn't want me to mail it. Now I wish I had. I know that my Aunt is probably torn up about this, I don't want to call her right now because it will just upset her more. I understand, logically, this isn't my fault. Guilt sucks. I feel like it's something I should have thought of soon enough to overnight mail it. I just needed to say this out loud, so to speak.
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Multiple Sclerosis-Dx May 2007 . |
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05-31-2009, 06:07 PM | #2 | |||
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Senior Member
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I am sorry for your loss.
Honor her memory tomorrow and for all the rest of your life. I do not think your grandmother cared that the wedding ring was not on her finger. Maybe, just maybe, the ring is supposed to be a loving remembrance to be passed to you or another member of your family. Things can happen for a good reason. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | AfterMyNap (05-31-2009), braingonebad (06-01-2009), hollym (06-01-2009), Jodylee (06-01-2009), Twinkletoes (05-31-2009) |
05-31-2009, 06:14 PM | #3 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma.
I agree with Cyn.....things happen for good reasons sometimes. Maybe you were supposed to keep this ring with you. I know you can't help second guessing yourself sometimes but at least you know where the ring is.....and you know that your Grandma knows it's safe - in good hands.
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These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009), Twinkletoes (05-31-2009) |
05-31-2009, 06:29 PM | #4 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Joellelee, I'm so sorry about your dear grandmother's passing.
I can't help but agree with Kitty and Aarcyn -- I hope you get to keep it as a way to remember her.
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Rochelle . . I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it! LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF! |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009) |
05-31-2009, 06:57 PM | #5 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Sorry to hear about your loss, Joellelee.
What about FedEx'ing it? Cherie
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I am not a Neurologist, Physician, Nurse, or Hairdresser ... but I have learned that it is not such a great idea to give oneself a haircut after three margaritas
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009) |
05-31-2009, 07:40 PM | #6 | |||
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Elder
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I am sorry for your loss, but have to agree. I think Grandma would be upset if you dragged yourself 1000 miles and got sick. I am sure she would prefer that you wear, love and cherish that ring instead of seeing it be buried and gone. This way she can live on in your heart with a reminder. Grandma are good at things like that.
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RRMS 3/26/07 . Betaseron 5/18/07 . Elevated LFTs Beta DC 7/07 Copaxone 8/7/07 . . |
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05-31-2009, 09:01 PM | #7 | |||
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Wise Elder
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Sorry for your loss, J. Cyn has the right idea, it's only stuff, the memories belong to the living.
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—Cindy For every day I choose to play, I set aside a day to pay. —AMN "Sometimes plastic wrap just won't cling, no matter how much money you put in the meter." —From the Book of True Wizdom Last edited by AfterMyNap; 06-01-2009 at 03:41 PM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009) |
06-01-2009, 06:27 AM | #8 | |||
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Senior Member
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Thanks to all of you . I'm going to wear it today. We wore the same ring size.
As usual, you've made me feel much better about it all .
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Multiple Sclerosis-Dx May 2007 . |
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06-01-2009, 08:19 AM | #9 | ||
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Magnate
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J.
Sorry to hear about your Grandma. You have had it rough lately, Take care of yourself , okay?
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sox . . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-02-2009) |
06-01-2009, 09:16 AM | #10 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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In an old clock that was a wedding present to my Mom, the door in back opens and in their is my Mom'sand my Dad's rings. They are both passed away now, my Dad had kept it when Mom died,but when he remarried he gave me both. Mom's wedding band and his both have loving inscriptions inside them and I treasure both.My brother (he's passed on now also) called me keeper of the flame.
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Kicker PPMS, DXed 2002 Queen of Maryland Wise Elder no matter what my count is. |
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