Alison,
I am so sorry to hear about your dear friend. I can only imagine how heart broken you are at this time. It sounds like you were blessed with a wonderful friendship and you have some wonderful memories to hold within your heart.

Many Gentle Hugs

&
Dawn

wow, how things happen sometimes it just knocks the wind out of you.
Hug yourself and let the tears flow for your friend...

Be good to yourself too

Alison, I am very sorry about your friend coming down with ALS And all that that includes...lost dreams...fears for him...not knowing what the right thing is to do for his family...

I'm also sorry about Sat. night!!!

I would take at face value that you "looked fabulous!!!" I bet you really did. And, at the same time, it does irk to be told that when you're screaming in pain on the inside...Having met you, I can say you look so together, so pretty, that my guess is you just looked beautiful and they felt compelled to say so, (and not that they didn't believe you...)

Gosh yes the questions HURT! Our disability impeded our success like we'll never know! And we DO know that - so the questions HURT...the new cars, big houses, job promotions perhaps even taking over in our own offices or areas of expertise...(that happened to me, someone got made partner while I'd been out sick that would've never happened - it was meant to be me in my plan the month I had to leave.)

It's hard to plant on that smile, be gracious, be generous and congratulate everyone else on their hard-earned successes when that's all I ever wanted - to earn more success using my own efforts...

You've had one hell of a week, girl...be easy on yourself.

Can Chelsea contact the wife or the exboyfriend you mention, and express your sympathies, and just ask if a visit would be welcomed or not? They could then just indicate which they prefer. Or send a card with your phone, and he can call if he wants. He may have some unsettled words he'd like to say, now. Just remember, he may need your strength, and so may she! And you have it, thanks to your years of fighting for life with TOS. Not to mention all of your experience with social security applications, medicare, and goodness knows what else...I don't know what I'm talking about here, I don't know him, what you're comfortable with, etc., I just know and can tell how much you love him as a human being and that is so touching.

Alison Your friend may welcome a call or visit. Chelsea may be the key to finding out. Sorry for the rough time you are having.
Linda

Thanks for the advice about searching the disc drives. I actually did find the pictures. You all probably think it's stupid that I was upset about it but we had such a good time together, and, knowing she's going away soon, I wanted to have them. Also, I'm always the one who is depended upon to take the pictures and videos and record whatever happens and if I don't, I feel like I've let everyone down. I'm going to transfer the pictures to another spot where I can find them a little easier.

Thanks for all your help! Linda

Hi Alison,

My condolences over these sad events. It is not difficult to deal with past loves especially ones that you still hold a flame for.

I hope that one way or another you can find a way to deal with this and have the strength to get through it.

Prays of hope and strength.

Linjane I hope that you find the pictures!

love and hugs,
Victoria

Hi Alison, I feel for you. i hope that you can find ease and acceptance in dealing with your old flame. perhaps you and/or your daughter can be there in some way for him and his family. i had a family friend that survived for several years with ALS. there are so many things a person can use when they don't have use of their arms. even just a visit to give some time off to the caretakers might be welcoming if the past romance isn't an issue.

i too went to an event this weekend w people i hadn't seen in a long while. i think i'm going to start inventing tall tales in response to those dreaded questions. it's gotta be easier than trying to get people to understand the reality of the situation. and besides it doesn't make for fun party talk. i'm glad to hear that you could dance though. just standing around or sitting causes my body to flare. i think i would have to dance w/my arms glued to my waist.

btw-i got some comfort just reading on this board that a few people w/TOS were dating. somehow i thought that a person dealing with a big case of TOS wasn't date-able. so maybe we you can look forward to a new relationship in the future and the old flame can become fond memories of a good but past relationship or who knows, maybe transition into a new kind of friendship.

so Alison, glad to hear you're brave enough to cry when it's the only thing that seems possible.

Anything is possible. My mother is 72 and in very good health. She is dating an old flame (actually from 7th grade!) and he has Parkinsons! He is in ok shape but not great. Luckily she is the caregiving type. Actually it is lucky for him! You just have to hook up with the right person. It is funny when my parents come to my kids sports events. It's usually my mom, her boyfriend along with my dad. They all grew up together! Actually, the three of them went away today for the week with a bunch of their high school friends to Maryland together! It makes for very interesting conversations!

Linda

Quiet in here today- hope everyone is OK. I am resting my arms after such an active few days here and a few other online places.

hugs and sweet dreams to all...
Johanna

SSShhhhh the natives are sleeping