Hi guys....... NOT a good night, last night!
I had a horrifying nightmare. Extreme anxiety and felt so sad and couldn't breath!!!!!!!!! I actually had a crying episode that lasted about 10 mins.... like a fountain.
I thought I was doing really well with the post op stuff....... Last night really hit me bad.
I'm trying so damn hard to keep positive but at the moment feel crap.
An old recurrent injury to my hip ( gluteus medius muscle) has flared up causing my lower back to spasm. This has never been checked properly by my doctor. The muscle is distorted and swollen looking but my bloody so-called wonderdoc says he can't see any difference to the other side. Thats total BS as its soooooo obvious. I'm suffering with muscle tenderness above breast near scarring. Left shoulder feels tender and caught up and this rotten AWFUL constant pulsing hum in my left ear. I returned from the hosp yesterday(GYNAE) issues ASWELL, hormone imbalance possible perimenopause and a erosion of the cervix. I've been given an appointment to have it cauterised next month. I've told them that I what to do it all as naturally as possible..... NO HRT for me thanks! WHAT NEXT????? Springs to mind. AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Very nearly lost the plot.
I haven't yet returned to work, miss being out there but at the same time anxious to go back and too bloody achy.
I'm having to dig pretty deep to pick myself up.
I've adopted/catnapped my neighbours cat for company and cuddles
I'm sure this feeling won't last BUT damn its horrid!
I'm determined that TOS and additional body issues will not take my mind also. POSITIVE, POSITIVE and I guess POSITIVE right?
Best wishes to all