Thanks for keeping us posted. It sounds as though it has been quite an ordeal for all. Hope it's all uphill from here, and that things get easier every day.

Hugs,
Stardust

Well, my Mom has been in ICU for 12 days now.

She is still on the ventilator. I spoke with the pulmonologist yesterday and he said that she got a severe burn in her lungs when she inhaled the acid from her stomach into her lungs.

They keep trying to wean her off the ventilator but she can't tolerate it.

I'm not going to be brave anymore. This has increased my pain from all the driving and stress and flared up my depression.

When I spoke with the doc I mentioned a second opinion or a transfer to a university setting.

He was ok with the idea but wanted to give her a couple more days.

My family was stunned when I told them that her lungs were burned by the stomach acid.

They just had not thought of it that way. I had to go slowly through the explanation so they could understand how serious it is. In reading about acid aspiration pneumonia it sounds pretty bad.

My dad called me and said when he told my 2 sisters about the lungs being burned, "they didn't realize my Mom had such a serious lung injury."
So I had to go over it again.
I can't allow myself to get the "fall aparts"in front of my family because all of their
"non coping mechanisms" come out and make the situation harder to deal with.

Some of the family's personalities are really draining me.

Thank you everyone for all of your kind offers and prayers.

Oh Martha, I pray for you to be strong without tension.

martha- my thoughts have been with you, tho i haven't posted.

Your mom is so lucky to have you by her side through this ordeal...

I'm so sorry to hear you mother has had such a rough time, as have all of you. Bless your soul, you must be exhausted.

Families are wonderful, sometimes very frustrating during difficult times, and I totally understand how you feel about having to keep calm for her, explain to them without creating havoc about what's going on, and the whole coping mechanism stuff.

I'm thinking of you and sending hugs your way. phoebe

I know everyone has their own way of dealing with things like this.
My mom was severely ill and nearly died a couple of times in the hospital years ago- once was a med mix up . She did recover and her illness went into remission- but left a few problems behind with her.

I was pretty dumb - had a baby and 3 little boys at the time so i was in a fog it seems like now looking back on it.
- plus back then I trusted that drs knew what they were doing and of course I trusted that mom would be just fine.

one of my brothers was a rock he seemed so calm & cool about everything
one brother is in business so he was all about the details
sometimes my dad and I would just look at each other and tear up- we are so alike that way
2 of the family lived 3 hrs away

mom had an immune system illness so no grand kids allowed- due to germs and such

so I guess I'm trying to say try not to stress over the family members that aren't able to deal with the medical facts- maybe they just can't handle it yet- maybe later they will.
sometimes being in La La land is the only way some can cope

Martha,

I am sorry to hear that your mother is having a difficult time recovering from her recent surgery and pneumonia.
You and your mother are in my Prayers.

Many Hugs
&
Dawn

Martha, I just read this update now. You and mom are still in my prayers. Healing, strength, and support for YOU! I cannot imagine travelling that distance everyday. I hope your strength keeps up and this nightmare will soon be over. Love, Hope

Martha: Just wanted to let you know that you and your mom are in my prayers tonight...God Bless, Dorrie

Martha,

I just read your update as well. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers. I know its hard but do what you need to do for yourself. If you need to fall aprt do it, maybe one of them will step in. And try not to (easier said than done) to let their non coping become a burden on you. Dont babysit them. Let them work through it on their own.

You mom is very lucky to have you