how many of you feel depressed? Somedays I feel like I can't tolerate another day of this nonsense. Ive been enduring this for 4 years now and its cost me more than I can stomach sometimes. I know its counter-productive to be negative about the whole situation, but, well, sometimes I just feel like things are so screwed up in the world and I wind up spending hours feeling sorry for myself about this whole TOS/RSI thing. It doesn't help that the people around me treat me like a hypochondriac.

The pain really spirals me out of control sometimes. I can't imagine having this be my reality in 5 years time. I want to get better, I want to be able to work without feeling like my chest is crushing itself, etc. Sigh.

I think we all go thru cycles of depression or down time, some more than others due to circumstances. I usually would allow myself some time to be down and then after awhile I would get tired of it.
So I would dust myself off and start fresh.
But sometimes you just need a mental/emotional break and a little time to look inward and recharge, nothing wrong with that.

Some will have anti depressants added to their meds -as they also increase the effectiveness of the pain meds as well as help with depression.

I've fought with depression, too. I have other health problems that affect my feet and I often think that if I could just walk again, like go out for hikes, my whole body would respond and my muscles would loosen up. The notion that I have all these things to battle and that my life is changed so drastically does get me down, plus world events that used to cause me to look for solutions (take action) are now just wearing me down. A couple months ago, I stopped taking the little dose of nortriptyline that had been helping my pain but was doing nothing for my depression, and started taking trazodone. I'm still able to sleep well, I haven't noticed much of an increase in pain, plus my depression has largely abated (I do still get crabby more than I used to, though, but I think that's fairly normal, considering!). Of course, it is summer in Minnesota and I do believe I have developed a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder that so many of us here are prone to. Being able to get out cross-country skiing and wander around in the snow has always kept SAD at bay for me, but not being able to do much is like a total joy killer.

I wouldn't worry too much about what life is going to be like in five years, at least not at this point. Our bodies change, treatments help, some don't, but some do. My pain has decreased a lot in the last six months since I found a good physical therapist, though I'm still limited in what I can do with my hands. But the pain is less, and that makes me glad.

Everything always looks the worst at night, too, so getting to sleep is always the best option. Hopefully you have some good rituals and/or a med that will help send you off to sleep.

Oh yeah, and some doctors consider me a hypochondriac, as well, as I'm sure most of us have been considered at one point or another. I actually ran into one of those wacky docs yesterday. Needless to say, I'm taking my body and my health care dollars elsewhere. He was just a pain management anesthesiologist anyway, and doesn't even do scalene blocks correctly. He was going to numb out my entire arm, basically as though I was about to have shoulder surgery or something. Duh, of course that would kill my arm pain, but it certainly wouldn't say where that pain was originally coming from!

Best wishes,
Melissa

JaldridgeThis is a very good thread. Unfortunately, this is a chronic syndrome. I believe depression comes hand in hand. I have not been depressed lately but I remember when I would just lay in bed and think, Is this my life now? Will it ever change and get better? I have to say it does change, and hopefully for all of us it does get better. As Melissa said, a good night sleep is VERY important. At night is when I think. Did I pay bills, the taxes have to be done, etc. If you are up at night stressed, it isn't good for your body. Some sort of anti-depressant is probably the answer. I haven't taken one in a few years but they helped when I needed it. You should check with your doctor. Linda

I probably should be on anti-depressants. Ive been so, so, so, so, so depressed lately. I dont feel like Im rested either. I try and sleep maybe 6 1/2 hours a day, but Ive had to increase it and it doesnt seem like I'm waking up refreshed.

I have work in an hour. What's strange is, without fail, before work my symptoms start to really get aggravated. By the time I actually get into work, my arm is burning like crazy, my back hurts like crazy and I feel like I can barely breath. I just started this job only 2 weeks ago and everyday has been worse and worse. Thankfully I'm not working in front of a computer, but actually selling computers.

The combination of mental and physical pain feels almost too much to bare. I'm not a very strong person. I break pretty easily. Ive always been kind of frail. There are some days where my options feel pretty limited. Sigh.

Sorry work isn't helping. You really should talk to your doctor. Anti-depresents could be the answer. I know they helped me in the past. We think of all sorts of things when we are trying to rest and our minds go crazy. You can't help what you can't control. Also, you need a good rest. I hope the rest of your day goes well. And keep posting, it does help. Everyone here does care! Linda

you know, the pain before work thing is something i have experienced as well...I can go a lot longer at a a taks i am doing for me than one i am doing for someone else...i think (my own personal opinion here) that holding tension is a real problem with TOS, and when we knoe we are doing something that is going to hurt we start to hold tension and cause ourselves pain. One of tpwel horses posts related back to this as well...whne he would start to THINK about raising his arm to do something it would start to hurt because he was already applying tension to the muscle that was goign to have to do the work of lifting his arm (i think i am remebering this correctly- maybe he will chime in)

SO, i think the answer is to study relaxing before you go to work- maybe devote the last hour before you depart to some floor time...i am sure you have learning some breathing exercises with alexander...or do some focused relaxation (i have instructions for that i can send you if you need)

I think if you show up to work more relaxed you will fare better...but after that you will have to be careful with your work activities not to aggravate...is there a place where you could do more relaxation during your lunch break or whatever? I used to do that all the time at work, and i still do it at home. just lay out on the floor and breath- these days I practice funny breathing (a feldenkrais exercise), but I used to do focused relaxation with my ipod on...had a special playlist just for that.

Johanna

PS, as for depression, I agree a certain amount of it is quite normal. you know, if you don't want an antidepressant, just a simple B6 supplement can be good for mood and energy level. When I was preggers I took a 100mg's every morning and night.

johannakat: yeah, I take a 100mg bcomplex, an iodine [kelp], iron, and multivitamin complex every morning... so, I agree. vitamins do help but I still am having extreme anxiety and depression, sometimes not really even TOS related, but TOS certainly sends it spiralling to an out of control point. And, yes, I am learning how to relax in Alexander... but, I'm still such a noobie to the whole idea. I try and force myself to relax at work and it makes things worse.. Today actually turned out to be pretty low pain, so I'm grateful for that.

I'm going to get one of those balance ball chairs.. they look really cool! couple that with a nada chair and I'll have one weird computer rig.

Jalridge~

I know how hard deppression can be... Things that make it worse people telling you its in your head or your not sick because you look fine... I think any body who is in chronic pain goes through days or weeks were they say to themselves is this really the way i have to live? I know i have just been dx with this condition and also RSD... I was very very very deppressed before i got on anti deppresants... I use to be so against them but they really have helped turn me around.. I still have bad days but not like was before... Also you mentioned your sleep ... Have you tried any sort of sleeping medicine... I take ambein when i cant sleep and my pain is the worse... On the note about your symptoms getting worse before work, I know for me any form of stress makes symptoms horrible! Could it be work is stressing you out and also you are inticipating to come home in pain, or sit there all day in pain... I would imagine that would make me feel really bad as far as my symptoms were concerned....

If i were you i would look in to some sort of meds to add to your daily medication, such as sleeping meds, and ambein or luensta.. Something so you can get some sleep and some meds so you can get out of the current depression.... I take Lexapro and it has helped me greatly!


I really hope you find something that helps you get out of the funk you feel you are in right now...

Gental hugs and Pain free days ahead!!

As far as sleeping meds go, I had a problem with them. I would take, ambien, or others like it and wake up 4 hours later. Finally I found Restoril which is more of an old fashioned sleep med. I can fall asleep and stay asleep for up to 7 hours. When I wake up I am not tired. No side affects. Good luck. Linda