That was an awesome comment! It's so true and I'm religiously working on a cure....

The thing that finally rang my husbands bell was that there is something serious happening with each move I make not just me complaining and asking for a massage was the trip he made with me to the PT. What an eye opener for him as well as myself because being one who doesn't want to ask for help or to wait between innings or for halftime to get something done...I do it myself. That's all good for the short term but I just keep making it worse on myself until she explained it all to both of us.

I think in some instances I'm lucky because I'm with out much pain. I get a knife pain but take Advil and it's ok, that's about it. The muscles in my neck and chest are tender to touch but again I thought that was how they were supposed to be, I knew no difference. She mentioned that I've been like this for so long that I don't know what it's like to feel "Normal" so that's why this is normal for me. My nerve sensors are in a cross somewhere and that's what she's trying to rewire but the only way to do that is for me to stop with the daily activites that I live and essentially retrain my body.

By stopping everything my muscles and nerves will not be on Alert waiting to protect each other and will slowly be able to compute at a new healthy unspasmed level. Once we reach that point,then we can work on minimal strenghtening and rebuild my system. I always wanted to be the bionic woman growing up! So, it's up to him and I, how long this takes. The more I do at home, I most likely won't get to that point so we have to work together to get me there. He's also involved in rubbing out the knots in my thumb pad & forearms which is nice for him to be involved and for him to learn alot more about what is going on.

She mentioned how difficult it can be for couples and I know because the other one doesn't see the pain so they don't really understand. So now he's on board. Before the appointment he went to I told him some of the things I had to do, not do and it was in one ear and out the other. Now, he asks me all the time, do you want me to do that? Should you be doing that?

Well there is a point to all this and it's...I think he's starting to see dirt...I won't swear on it but I saw vacuum marks on the carpet when I got home last night...WOW!

can we clone him?

the only vaccum marks my hubby leaves in when he moves it out for me to use.

i have a progressive back condition. shouldn't be doing much. he knows this. knew it before we married. it has never sunk in. so i keep doing. hurting myself and paying for it.

I don't mean to ***** but I will anyway. Today I got up and made HIM coffee, I drink tea. Also, the coffee maker is one where you have to grind the coffee beans. Made kids breakfast for football. Did laundry, made beds, etc. Having a block party today where I make a large zucchini casserole which takes along time of chopping and slicing and baking. He comes home from football, takes a nap, asks if I want to take one with him!!! I'm still frigging baking and cleaning the kitchen!! ****** me off!! I think he's sleeping in my son's room tonight!!

Thanks for beginning this thread!!! I love it and LinJane, I hear your pain!!!!!
However. If I don't do dinner and feel like crap he is starting to help...mind you his idea is hot dogs or just meat on the bbq with no sides.....I like a slice of salmon so he makes it for me and I cut up a zucchini and he will cook it for me....or I chop up some onions mushrooms and peppers...or whatever veggies are in the fridge.....and he will cook it thank GOD for bbq's or I would be in big trouble....he's really good at it now!

But as for the inside stuff....I asked for two months, yes TWO MONTHS for the carpets and floors(hardwood throughout and a few throw rugs) to be cleaned......it took me to go into nuclear melt down before it got done...we have a cat and he sheds hair....he is after all of Syrian and Egyptian decent born in Canada.....so he is as hairy as all hell so his hair is EVERYWHERE and he cuts his balding head in the bathroom and who cleans the floor after he tries to!!!!!!!! It's like the kid who doesn't do the job properly so you won't ask him to do it again.

Ok his words in his own defense....."Shadow should be able to vacuum" that is the CAT.....ok work to be done here but it will take another nuclear meltdown to get it done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I think he thought he was being funny....that is how he tries to make me feel better....he jokes constantly....inappropriatley at times.....in my mind like when my head hurts to the point of wanting to chop it off....hmmmmm

Love is a wonderful thing.....especially when you need to teach men how to clean.....

I could go on but why bore you guys!!!!

you all know...

love and hugs to all,
Victoria

Victoria I am so not sure what to say. I LOVE hime but he is a pain in the butt. I am having such flare ups that I am doubling pain meds. He is counting them and I want to kick him! I am going to call doctor on monday because this is awful. By the way, had a GREAT time at my block party!! Ihave lost about 20 pounds and had a few hands on my waist!! Not bad for a 43 year old woman with 4 kids!!

I am not getting the help at home that I need and am not sure how to get it across to him. Taxes have to be don for business and family and I just cant do it. We have an accountant but I need to give everything and it is just too hard. That is where we have a problem.

Love to everyone, Linda

I gotta say it is frustrating and I should be the last to complain.
Hubby has done so much in the past five years = cleanng, cooking, shopping, supportive, rides to doctor in the middle of his 12 hr work days, serving me coffee in bed. He'll clean anything I ask, but this is the thing : I have to see the dirt and tell him where it is.
He made me a pot of coffee one day and poured the cup and brought it to bed for me. As he poured the cup, it dripped onto the counter, down the cabinet, drawers, onto the floor and under the fridge. It is now 3 days later so I dropped a paper towel on the floor by the refrigeratr and left some cleaner there also. He came home, cooked dinner and walked around it, but NEVER Saw It~!!!!! When I showed him, he cleaned it all up. I had already washed off the shelf and upper part of cabinets ~ I can't bend over very well. We have a friend who vacuums, dusts for us, and occasionally cooks meals for a few days, and when she left for a month, he picked up where she left off. So it is not that he won't do it, I just have to show him where the dirt is
Still, when he cooks he wants me right there to give instructions. I think he just wants me there to tell the truth, because he's cooked a lot of this stuff over and over the past 5+ yrs.
It could be his mind is so full from all that goes on at work.
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt but it shouldn't be affecting
his eyesight should it?
Take care all,
Hope

Hope As much as you hve to show him the dirt, I think you are very lucky. My husband doesn't help. His idea of helping is to tell one of the kids to do something so I will stop yelling at him. I drink tea. He doesn't even know how I take my tea. Be VERY VERY thankful!

What is this dirt that you keep talking about? I guess I can't see it either

Funny, my mother in law is sick so they had to hire a maid although father in law thought he was doing a great job! All perspective, but I think God did make some dirt invisable to us.

No wait...I am curesed with a hubby that is always pointing out the dirt to me...

He's an awesome hubby but ladies the grass is not always greener.

Maybe Hubby and I just need sex changes..sheesh not another operation

what's this "dirt" stuff you ladies are talking about? I'm pretty sure I've never seen it.