Hi Everyone, I could use your help with a very personal dilemma. On the surface it's about travel issues, but really it's about so much more.

I'm fortunate to be in a relationship with an absolutley wonderful man, a "keeper" as my grandma would say - the love of my life. In general he's incredibly understanding about the TOS and the pain and very patient and I'm very grateful. The exception being - travel. He doesn't understand how/why it is so difficult for me to travel. His brother has cancer and we have travelled twice this year to see him, plus two other trips - and each time i got sick (on top of the TOS flares and fatigue). Now comes Christmas and he will go visit his brother on the East Coast for Christmas and, as supportive as i am of the situation, i feel i just cannot travel anymore this year. This, of course, is not going over well.

Part of me feels like i should make the effort but then again i'm always making the effort and part of me feels like it's his turn to understand what I'm going through and to understand that I do have limits. And that if I go, I'll just be making it worse by making it seem that yes I can in fact do anything if i just grin and bear it, even if I'm miserable. When in fact I'm getting tired of being miserable and feel like just saying no for a change. What would y'all do? Any advice?

Thank you!
Nolina