I think a lot of TSers learn to live with their TS and it becomes a part of them...

don't get me wrong...after 40 some years of twitch and shout (and cussing voluntarily) the tics can wear a person out(but that's another subject for another time)

I often battle the co-morbids, the things that often, but not always come with the TSers...

the OCD's with obsessive thoughts, the ADHD/ADD, the depressions, the Asperger(no, I don't have Aspergers) issues...(and maybe some suicidal ideations)

currently, mine is OCDing with Depression....

I seem to be stuck in a mode...a mode of "bubble"

some people would call that "wall"

to me, it is more of a bubble, because it is NOT solid...but it is a very very thick bubble...one that cannot be penetrated with the sharpest needle of knife in the world....one that can bounce a cannonball back 100 times the speed directed at it....

and it isn't made up of small bubbles, it is this big gigantic bubble...kinda like I am stuck inside a huge gum....

this "bubble" has made me mute....

it has made me ex parte from my end and I cannot see the other side...

and I wondered if the others feels the same from the other end, that their side is just not getting through....

I had a long conversation with my wonderful wife about this yesterday. What's great about her is her ability to understand...

I tried to explain the best that I could to her why I am feeling this way, that I feel so selfish and that I can't seem to communicate right now...

we're going to have dinner with some very very good friends of ours yet I so very much want to cancel it...yet, I am NOT going to...

this bubble has become thicker in recent times and it's really driving me crazy...

and it has intensified my tics...

well, all is relative...one thing triggers another and vice versa...

I WILL be OK...I just ponder about these things...

and I wonder if the parents feel MORE for us when they see us twitch and shout vs. how the TSers themselves feel....

DMACK pointed out something in another thread that he was more angry when his TS friend was being teased...and it really resonated with me cause I believe that's how my parents and friends feel as well, that they would feel/felt more angry for me than I would....

I think that is an issue that perhaps need to be brought out sometimes as a subject for the TS parents...just my two dollars worth...


anyways, hoping to talk more about this in the future....

(((((BIG HUGS)))))) to all

PS, I have made some truly awesome friends here at NT that don't have TS, but please feel free to jump in and post anytime...I so value your opinions and FRIENDSHIPS....

I know that bubble probably blocks out the sun, too. It's hard to see the "light"--when the shades are drawn tight. I've had issues with this as well--with a loved-one. It's really impossible for them to see outside this bubble--to see that happiness is possible in their future. And all I can do is guarantee to them, that it's there, waiting for them.

Hope your bubble is letting some light through, Moi.

Brandt,

yeah, it does BLOCK out the sun...we went for a walk yesterday...and it usually would help me feel better...and while it did...

I couldn't see the light...

I am very lucky da wife is so very understanding, and I think we discussed it very thoroughly before we got together...

I have been trying to poke through this bubble with everything I can think of...

I think I am down to my last and final resort...meds...*sigh......

thanks for the input, Brandt....

I know once I've burst through this bubble, she'll be right there for me....

what's funny is that I know it's there...it's just right outside this bubble...

it is like even when she hugs me, and I love to be hugged...

I felt this...well...bubble...I no longer feel anything...

well, it's slowly coming back....I hope....

how are you going there, Brandt?

((((((((((((Moi))))))))))))))

dont forget those supplements I have mentioned to you.

My son (and hubby) have the bubble blocking out the light too periodically. Both have tried meds. Bubble got thicker and things got darker cos light got real dulled inside them.

the supplements arent a magic cure but they sure make a difference.

apart from those I told you of, both hubby and son are using the Natural Calm ionic magnesium thingy and wow it is really helping both mood and tics too. helps them sleep better as well. we have long known people with TS benefit from extra magnesium, but this seems to deliver it real well

we get our at iherb.com as much cheaper than regular health stores

anyways, those are just some things that my guys have found helps a bit

((((((((((((((((((((Moi and da wife))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

so glad you found each other

I understand what you mean, and your descritption of the bubble is spot on. I get like this myself... where I feel like I'm living seperate to everyone else... sort of. It feels like the worlds going on without me.

You said how you know it's there but you just can't feel it, this is exactly how I am at times too. Everything is there, a wonderful husband, great kids and friends, so very much to be thankful for... but I can't seem to touch it.

I know it's some kind of depression thing but I've never been treated for it, always try to get through it myself. Usually putting on my music and having time out works... but when that doesn't I know I'm in for a harder time.

I try to do things that normally bring my pleasure, but that doesn't work either. Oh well, I guess it all comes good in the end.

Take care,
Lyn.

thanks Cheri,

I WILL give those a try. I just am not ready to go back to the AD(meds) yet...after being on them for so long most of my life and feeling like I wasn't myself all those times since I was 14...

it's good to have my brain back even though I have to put up with some...well, ya know...

and yeah, really lucky to have da wife.

appreciate all the infos thus far, will probably pick yer brain more down da road. (((((((BIG HUGS))))))))

hi Lyn,

please keep talking about it if you need...

life is up and downs and those of us that are lucky have loved ones to keep a suction cup at the bubble....

I think as long as we can recognize it and then NOT give up on it. That's the trick..

in the past, I get the bubble and end up getting more bubble wrap and it gets thicker and thicker. LOL

now, I try to thin it out vs making it thicker, if that makes sense.

That means that I am more open to talk about it, try stuff vs. not wanting to do anything about and just sit here and sulk...

I am a hugger and I love to hug. My family don't hug at all...we're not the "I love you" types...never really heard it...

when I married da wife, her family is totally opposite from mine. Huggers, "I love you" every other minute, takes an hour to say good-bye type of family. Just very loving physically...

it took some getting used to but I love it...

but lately...when I get hugged, it's I can feel the "pressure" of the hug around the bubble...but the actual "feeling" just isn't there anymore...

well, it'll get better...it's a cycle and I'll come out of it...

I hope you do, too...and any others that goes through it...it sucks eggs...

but, at least we have a safe place to discuss and talk about it if we need, eh?

((((((BIG HUGS)))))))

to everyone that has sent me PM's...I really appreciate it....

I benefit from supplements when it comes to my behavior. I agree. But I do not have TS. But I do have Bipolar disorder and types of OCD.

hi yellow fever!

Thanks for your input.

I have to log off for now but would love to come back and ask you more questions later (if you are up to it)

and to everyone