Erica,

Glad to hear you are not having any academic struggles. I am shocked to hear <All doctors have assured me that I am not at risk for permanent damage if I return to play. > A helmet is often almost useless for Post Concussion brains.

Our brains are usually much more sensitive to minor impacts that a helmet will not protect against. Can you shake your head vigorously without a return or increase in symptoms?

I am having that morning brain fog. Maybe I should try to get some breakfast in me. I am struggling to get my mind to work. I look at the screen and after a few moments, I realize I am staring at my screen saver.

I am really messed up this morning.

Later

So, I spent the weekend watching my daughter at a state basketball tournament. Four games on Saturday and 2 games on Sunday. Today, I can't stand noise, light, and am so fatigued I can hardly stand it. I know Mark said that I have to get used to the "new" me, but I was a very social person and this weekend, I tended to distance myself from the other "basketball moms" because I just didn't want to be around them. I don't want to seem stuck-up, but I find that the constant talking and gossiping is really annoying.

The parents stayed up and played cards and I went back to my room to read. I don't really like doing that because my husband would really like me to do things with him. How do you get over that or don't you? I don't necessarily like the "new" me and would give anything to go back before my accident. I love my husband and he has been really supportive, but I fear that he may get tired of this in the near future. We talk, but I wonder if he gets tired of me blaming this on my injury. I should be over this by now. I am trying really hard, but there seem to be so many set backs.

We have talked about triggers, but there are just some things you can't give up. I never would have thought about missing the basketball tourney. My daughter was really excited and so was I. Today, I pay the price.

I am a fighter and I will beat this.

Sheds,

I know exactly how you feel. You might try using ear plugs when you go out anywhere. That's what I have had to do. I am on a division 1 lacrosse team, and its always expected that when you are injured you are at practice, games, lifts, etc. always cheering and making your presence known. Unfortunately, as you all know, doing any of that is impossible for me with out feeling like complete crap during and after.

So now, I only go to our games- I wear ear plugs and sunglasses and stand on the side line. I don't cheer, I usually don't speak, but i've explained to my teammates that it hurts my head to talk. Everyone has been pretty excepting of it, but I understand how you feel like your distancing yourself. It's been so long now that people really aren't as accepting of it, and just think that I'm feeling sorry for myself, or pouting. This has been the hardest part, because I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Regardless of what you've told people, bottom line is that you cannot actively engage yourself in interacting in a normal way. It's HARD. I find that I don't want to talk to anyone either, it just takes to much energy. I to would rather just go in my room and read a book- it takes my mind off the hell this has been.

Atleast you have this forum to come to. Talking about the issues your having is hard, especially when it brings on symptoms! (as it does for me)

As my mom keeps telling me- try to remain positive. Keep your head up. It's so hard to do, i know. But atleast you can come to this forum and get everything off your chest

erica welcome

from vini :

I know exactly how you feel. You might try using ear plugs when you go out anywhere. That's what I have had to do. I am on a division 1 lacrosse team, and its always expected that when you are injured you are at practice, games, lifts, etc. always cheering and making your presence known. Unfortunately, as you all know, doing any of that is impossible for me with out feeling like complete crap during and after.

So now, I only go to our games- I wear ear plugs and sunglasses and stand on the side line. I don't cheer, I usually don't speak, but i've explained to my teammates that it hurts my head to talk. Everyone has been pretty excepting of it, but I understand how you feel like your distancing yourself. It's been so long now that people really aren't as accepting of it, and just think that I'm feeling sorry for myself, or pouting. This has been the hardest part, because I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Regardless of what you've told people, bottom line is that you cannot actively engage yourself in interacting in a normal way. It's HARD. I find that I don't want to talk to anyone either, it just takes to much energy. I to would rather just go in my room and read a book- it takes my mind off the hell this has been.

Atleast you have this forum to come to. Talking about the issues your having is hard, especially when it brings on symptoms! (as it does for me)

As my mom keeps telling me- try to remain positive. Keep your head up. It's so hard to do, i know. But atleast you can come to this forum and get everything off your chest

I have noticed a problem with the good advice to take loads of rest (thanks for that, Tangje). The problem that I have is how to make a living when I am taking rest. I don't have any savings to fall back on so I basically have to work to pay the rent and feed myself.

I expect some of the rest of you can relate to this. I wonder how much having to work for a living is slowing our recovery. I don't feel that I can just take a year off and relax and stay out of debt.

I am trying to think of jobs that aren't too taxing on the brain but then you get to do minimum wage jobs that could be even more of a hassle. Has anyone solved this problem?

CS

Concussed Scientist,

I wish I could give you a success story in this area. I had to return to work 4 days after my accident because my family could not afford to have me off of work. The 4 days was only possible because it fell over Christmas break. I didn't have the time to rest. During the days following, I would find a dark place at work to sleep for my half hour lunch and then finish the day. I have 2 children so even when I got home, it was hard to rest. I also felt guilty because I didn't seem to be spending time enough time with them because I was always tired. I would really like to know if I would have taken the time to rest if I would be better 16 months out, but I guess I will never know. So, we seem to trudge right along and live each day as it comes.

Hey Sheds,
I can sure appreciate to dilemma that you are in with children. You want to do the best for them but so you try to struggle on when it might not be the best thing for you. I bet this is a common problem. People just do not take the time off to rest and recover that they really need. And doctors don't tell you how important this is. They really should give better advice on this.

Looking back, I wish that I had taken more rest, but the trouble is even now I don't know how I could have arranged it. The truth is that unless you are in the enviable position of having savings to fall back on or a familty that step in and do everything for you then you pretty much have to carry on as best you can and take whatever rest is avaible to you.

Perhaps if you explain the situation clearly to your family then things might be a bit easier.

CS

Concussed Scientist,

My family knows what this all means, but as a mom I feel like I have to do everything like before. I know that I should relinquish some of the duties, but I just can't seem to do that. That is my own fault. It is one of those cases where I want to make sure that my family is taken care of first and then comes me. I am no "super mom", but I always want to be there for my husband and kids. It's just hard to set limits for myself since I am not used to having to do so.

Hi CS,

This is a very difficult issue to address. I think that working can be okay depending on the task. The problem is that with an MTBI/PCS, as I'm sure you already know, is that your tolerance for stress is much lower and unfortunately stress can really hinder recovery. In my case I tried to continue working in the lab for 3 months after my injury, dialed it back to working on the computer at home for 5 months, and then finally realized that trying to work was doing more harm than good, which led to a 5 month leave of absence.

As far as finances are concerned, I would certainly look into government disability benefits/insurance that might be available to you. Depending what you were doing for work prior to your injury you might be eligible for some support (granted it might not be a lot). I appreciate that this can be quite a serious problem as you have to delicately balance your health and finances. I would try to recruit help from a family member or friend to figure out what your options are as the stress involved in trying to do it all yourself would certainly be a negative impact on your recovery.

Thanks, Tangje.

I suppose each of our situations is different. Now that I am over two years post-injury, I think that I can manage to work without doing myself too much harm. In fact, the extra income means that I can have some therapy which I couldn't afford before.

I was mentioning the financial side because I think that that is a real issue, especially in the first year after an injury, when you are at your worst and haven't adapted your life to the new situation yet.

CS