In March/April of 2010 I suffered roughly 15-20 blows to a very hard wall. There were at least 4 incidents w/repeated blows. This was a result of being in a suddenly abbusive relationship. I thought I was safe with the restraining order until the court system ordered that I supervise his visitations of our twin baby girls in my home a few times a week. As you can imagine this made matters worse. After trying to get the court system to take him out of my house failed, I had to have him sent to jail for violations to the order. My only out.

I didn't remember these blows, supressed them? I dunno. I remember after all the trauma in my life then, both emotionally and physically, (and raising twin babies alone with 1-2 hours of broken 15-25 min spans of rest, not sleep)that my nose bled for months. Not dripping mass amounts, like it was just always bloody inside. That wasn't normal for me. I never have nose bleeds. My gland on the left side of my neck under my jaw was noticably enlarged and very uneven looking. I was always bone chilling tired. Beyond even the earliest days of raising twin infants...This all went on until June/July. It wasn't until I had finally found work (was a house mom prior to all this) in september that I realized in therapy that I had hit my head so many times. Over a period of time all the peices came back to me and now I can tell a sort of timeline of events about it. I remember something every few days from that time. Odd.

So, I began working in social work to help people who are in abusive situations and to help them find work and get off welfare. I work full time 40hrs (which translates into 10 hour days from up to back home. Home is another kinda work all together as I am a full time ONLY parent to my 3 girls 18mos 18mos, 7, and my 11 year old son who adds to the fun on weekends).

I barely remember much about the aftermath from the concussions, just that I had THE WORST headache in all the world, like death, and a huge purple raised forehead. I'd carry twins three more times to the pain I was in. I slept and was dazed and sick feeling. BUT alas, I didn't get many chances to rest as I was still fighting the failed judicial system. So I have been going a million MPH cuz I have nobody, no one to help me and I don't want to end up homeless! I eventually ended up in the ER for my first medical care about my head about a month after I started my new job. My regular doc was useless in helping me but I guess that was cuz I didn't even remember hitting my head! I couldn't do it anymore. My Head hurt so bad and my neck and it NEVER stops. They did a CT and tried some drug that didn't work on the pain in an IV (just like everything, nothing works)
CT revealed "no bleeding or tumors" and they sent me on my miserable way wishing there was a way out of this pain to a neurologist. I started seeing him about a month later (first avail appt) and he said "you have PCS" take propranolol or whatever some blood pressure medication and Imitrex I think for 2x a mo pain for my headache. Tried the first for the last few months and nothing. Gave up. Tried the latter one time and I couldn't breathe or feel my fingers n toes. Super tight/anxious feeling. Tossed those out.
Now, my therapist is contacting my neurologist to team up cuz they both want me to have a full neuropsychological evaluation.
My friend who watches the girls while I work was in a rear end accident and is out all week to who knows when?! I am at risk of losing my job, feel like I can't handle life itself. Noises are horrible, twins drive me nuts (although I love them!) can't stand household noise or perform at my job very well. I work in a resource room where I help clients all day and I can't hear anything if there is noise like talking going on. Forget it. I feel stupid. I already have no faith in the medical system and think what is a usual feeling of overload and pain has reached a new point. I need to STOP and focus on getting better and maybe that is why? I would have done it sooner had I had the options and memory and help with kids and bills..ahhhhhhh!!!!
Thank you so much for listening to my story/rant. I am screaming for help and trying so hard to read everything here. I'm not me anymore and it's very scary. I never had headaches before. I'm trying to live up to the old me expectations and I think everyone else expects that too. IT's proving insanity and 5 month long migraine that only sleep relieves. But I must go on...that or what?