One of the things I've been really struggling with is that whenever I've been injured in the past there have been clear, positive things I can do to get better, such as physio exercises. PCS seems so much worse than my previous shattered kneecap (which hurt like hell and couldn't walk for months) partly because it seems like all you can do is sit around feeling sorry for yourself hoping it goes away. Any attempt to use positive actions or goal setting seems to make it worse not better.

So I've decided for my own sanity I need a more badass attitude.

I've realised part of the reason I've been so down is I've been been seeing the necessary steps for getting better too much as passive acts (NOT doing things rather than doing things).

From now on I am attacking my PCS by resting, nutrition etc it's not about what I'm not doing or am not able to do, it's about what I am doing, and every day I feel better is a victory.

I've also decided to be less 'understanding' of people who don't make an effort to understand what I'm going through. Sick of having to justify myself all the time, and of sitting around feeling sorry for myself and hoping others will feel sorry for me too.

Sure it's a confusing condition but I've felt awful and have been unable to function effectively in or out of work for over three months now. My life has totally changed and anyone who knows me should be able to see that. If you still think it's not that bad or that I'm making it all up well then ........ you

And as for my workplace's 'human resources' department if they want a fight they're gonna get one (whilst making sure I take appropriate amounts of rest and try not to get too stressed about things!). This human is more than just a 'resource' and they're gonna know about it.

I'm hoping this attitude is a stage of recovery lol it feels better than sitting around moaning anyway

GRRRR

I get it, really, I do. I am much more confrontational now. I have a righteous type of anger. I am a totally different person than I was 15 months ago. People need to accept me "as is" or stay out of my life. And nobody has a chance of running over me because I stand up for myself because I am my own best friend. No one else is going to take care of what life throws at me so I've learned to do it and do it forcefully. I would rather be alone than be around people who want the old me and won't accept who I really am now.

YES that's the kind of attitude I'm coming round to. Add in a fierce loyalty to those who are helping me through this.

Additionally, I'd advise anyone thinking of taking this angry route to PCS recovery to take care when cracking out old CDs of Rage Against The Machine or other angry rock bands.

Forceful nodding of the head along with the music is both compulsive and ill-advised. I have found rythmic fist pumping to be the most successful alternative coping strategy

I go to an extremely small college with 120 students total. I see everyone every day. I got my first concussion in the second semester of my freshman year. My concussion changed school policy about how to handle students with injuries. I got between 4 and 8 other concussions (not exactly sure if some of them were concussions, or just me getting worse 'cause I bumped my head). I have been in constant pain, have dropped out of a lot of the normal college events, and most strangely dropped out of dancing. (I started the ballroom dancing club at my school which is attended by almost every student at some point). This past semester I found out two things that shocked and angered me. First that most people did not know I was still hurting. Second, that those who did know I was still hurting thought that I was faking it and being a whimp. If they only knew!

Anyways, just wanted to vent.

As far as being aggressive in your way, I think I will try it. So far all my energy has gone into snapping at people and being grumpy because I don't feel good. I feel bad because I am so hurtful to the ones I love the most. Even if they know I am hurting, it is still hard to bear my nastiness. Maybe if I channel that energy into helping myself, it won't be there to be mean.

Well,
Good Luck All!
God Bless!
Margarite

If we can't vent here then where can we?

I guess the conundrum is if you try to make the best of it then everyone thinks there's nothing wrong with you and that you've just become a less interesting, less active and more grumpy person. Sounds like you were an active person with a range of interests and I can see why people thinking there's nothing wrong with you when you've lost things like your dancing would seem offensive, like they think you just can't be bothered anymore.

On the other hand if you try to show or tell people you're hurting then you end up looking like a malingerer or attention-seeker.

Unfortunately I don't feel aggressive any more, I just feel depressed. I'm going to try and get ithat aggression back though, as it felt much better than this!

Perhaps what I need to do is start a fight with someone too small to hit me in the head.....

Playing SuperBetter definitely helped me channel my aggressive energy into something positive. I have links to Jane McGonigal (Jane the Concussion Slayer) on my SuperBetter blog at http://eowynridesagain.wordpress.com

I love this - an entire group of people who "get it" !!!

I am blessed to have some very caring and supportive people in my life. However, even they don't understand.

And the "helpful" things people try to say.... aaarrrggghhh!!!!!

However, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. They are blessed that they don't understand.

When doctors don't even get it... that was soooooo difficult for my poor little brain to wrap itself around.

Ok. Venting over. Thanks! That felt good.