[nightnurse30]

So i had my first night back to work last night. Im 14 weeks post accident and had just had a week and a half with NO HEADACHES!!! But of course that ended this morning before my shift ended and a monster headache came on at 645am. Fiorinal took care of it by 730. I didnt have any major cognitive slowing and was able to keep up with my patients in the ICU.

Only slept 4 hours today because of course, they just started construction on the roof of my condo that will last for the next 6 weeks! Figures, huh?

But also, i had a pt with a Subarachnoid hemorrhage who was dealing with awful headaches. I think other nurses were not taking her headaches or complaints seriously, so i was so happy i could relate to her and understand her pain. I even got her an eye mask to wear to bed to help with her photophobia. She even described how things looked when she close her eyes, black squiggly lines with a green back drop....which is exactly what i experienced for the first week.

Its truly amazing that being a victim of a TBI can make me a more caring, attentive, and understanding nurse. ITs times like these that i feel grateful to have a better understanding of what my patients are experiencing.

[Eowyn]

Wow, good for you!! Hope you're able to continue and the headaches don't incapacitate you too much.

This encourages me; I'm really nervous about school starting again in a few weeks.

[musiclover]

That is a blessing that you can use your personal experience to improve the care given to your patients, they will benefit greatly! Through the last 9 mos of PCS, I have often wondered if some of medical professionals I have seen would have had a different take on dealing with chronic symptoms if they had been personally affected by tbi or pcs.....

Congrats on making it through your first day back!

[nightnurse30]

Nolefan....I have been an ICU nurse for over 8 years and did Neurosurgery for many years. I had NO IDEA about PCS or the symptoms that endure after a TBI until i had my own. I have such great understanding that i will advocate for my patients. If they say they have a headache, i will make sure their concerns are listened to. I even gave my patient her menu and said "if it gives you a headache to read this, i can read it to you". She was so surprised that i would even think that it might bother her to read for the first time.

WHile on break, another nurse gave my patient her pain meds and commented that she was a "clock watcher" and how she knew how to "scam the system and all the drugs we have". I told this nurse that she had legitimate pain and until she has a brain injury and knows what it feels like to be in pain constantly, she shouldnt judge or belittle someones perception of pain.

I will admit that sometimes when a patient is resting with their eyes shut and seems calm, but awakens and says they are in pain....sometimes nurses may say, "well you were just resting so quietly, you dont look like you are in pain". From my own experience, when the pain consumes you that much, you want to lay as still as you can, and try and wish the pain away. You dont need to be writhing and screaming to justify the pain that we experience.

[AllAmericanAmy]

WOOHOO! You go, girl! I believe bad things happen for our good (they will refine us, grow us, cause us to become more compassionate, etc) or for God's glory --- now I have to revise that. Or for other people's good too! What a beautiful story. Praying for complete, total healing physically for you!

[SmilinEyesMs305]

First of all, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! Wishing you continued success and well being!

Second, I completely understand your eye opening experience. I have not been able to work yet, but I am special educator for children who have Autism Spectrum Disorders. Sensory issues can be a huge problem for these kids and completely overwhelming. In my training, I have been taught to push children through this so they can "get better" and learn to tolerate. I was not supposed to accept any sort of behavior that resulted from this overstimulation. HOW WRONG THE PEOPLE IN MY FIELD HAVE BEEN!!

With my PCS, I have severe sound sensitivity and have issues with light especially in regards to my migraines. NEVER again will I try to "push a child through it". Although it's important that these children learn strategies for coping with this overwhelming sensation, doing so without compassion or being upset when behavior results is completely unethical. I wish every therapist, behavior consultant, etc could have my experience for just one day. I think they would stop and think the first time they were annoyed that a child could not appropriately deal with this overstimulation.

[nightnurse30]

For those of you wondering how my back to work has been now 2 weeks later. i've worked 5 night shifts. And after the first week, my headaches were back during my off days and my fatigue was pretty strong. I just finished up 2 more shifts and although my headaches have been coming on during the shifts (which fiornal and tylenol have been taking care of them), i feel cognitive strong and energy wise strong.

I've mixed up my words and stuttered a little bit, but overall making great assessments, catching things doctors or other nurses have missed, and have been commended multiple times for my pick ups and figuring out problems with our ICU patients. Not too shabby for the brain injured girl!!

Heres to hoping i can rest up for my next 3 days off and come back feeling better on Monday night. Feeling hopeful. close to 16 weeks post TBI and PCS.

[nightnurse30]

4 weeks after going back to work and i have to say....its not getting any easier and my symptoms arent lessening. I did have two major tests last week of my cognitive abilities and reaction time. One was a patient who coded while he was standing and I had to grab him and hold him off the ground and screamed out for help. I was able to quickly report the incident to the responding team and the fact that i also got the regurge shock from his internal defibrillator. Headache came on after the event.

The next night, i had the sickest, most stressful case come from the OR that brought on icepick headaches, i was tremulous, anxious, and completely unsupported by the charge nurse who played with her iphone while my patient was hanging on to her life by a thread and i was beyond overwhelmed. I almost asked someone to go to my car to get my sunglasses because the computer screen was killing my eyes. It was a very difficult night and required fiorinal, tylenol, ibuprofen, and then finally a percocet when i left work.

Im coming to the realization that my doctor saying it will take a year to get better may be doubled now that i am exhausting myself at work and setting myself back. But when i think about what i would prefer more.... Either staying home, being bored, getting depressed, but having less symptoms or working, saving lives, dealing with symptoms and constant headaches, and spending my days off exhausted and recuperating...... i have to choose working because it defines me and gives me meaning. But i know its gonna be worse for my recovery. I just pray it gets easier.

[Jeffrey]

Originally Posted by nightnurse30

4 weeks after going back to work and i have to say....its not getting any easier and my symptoms arent lessening. I did have two major tests last week of my cognitive abilities and reaction time. One was a patient who coded while he was standing and I had to grab him and hold him off the ground and screamed out for help. I was able to quickly report the incident to the responding team and the fact that i also got the regurge shock from his internal defibrillator. Headache came on after the event.

The next night, i had the sickest, most stressful case come from the OR that brought on icepick headaches, i was tremulous, anxious, and completely unsupported by the charge nurse who played with her iphone while my patient was hanging on to her life by a thread and i was beyond overwhelmed. I almost asked someone to go to my car to get my sunglasses because the computer screen was killing my eyes. It was a very difficult night and required fiorinal, tylenol, ibuprofen, and then finally a percocet when i left work.

Im coming to the realization that my doctor saying it will take a year to get better may be doubled now that i am exhausting myself at work and setting myself back. But when i think about what i would prefer more.... Either staying home, being bored, getting depressed, but having less symptoms or working, saving lives, dealing with symptoms and constant headaches, and spending my days off exhausted and recuperating...... i have to choose working because it defines me and gives me meaning. But i know its gonna be worse for my recovery. I just pray it gets easier.

You are an inspiration. I just hope you don't push yourself too far. Praying.

[nightnurse30]

Yup....pushed myself too far! disability for next 3 months per neurologists orders. I wanted so badly to believe my body was superhuman and wouldnt succumb to the same setbacks everyone else described. 5 months post TBI and im back out till next year. Very discouraged.