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Glad I've done this in the UK. Far from perfect and going in the wrong direction but we still have housing benefit and incapacity benefit if needed.
nightnurse i too struggle with the idea of not being a productive member of society. i'm coping by thinking more in the long term, what i can do when i get better, whenever that might be. most things i do which are aimed at being 'productive' at the moment, set me back and take that day further away. thinking of you, sounds like you've got one of the worst jobs for these sorts of symptoms :( |
Nightnurse hang in there if you can. It affected my daily task so much i was a mistake or accident waiting to happen. The cognitive impairments no one can see are debilitating in themselves. Simply replying here and checking the forums is hit or miss and usually causes problems with nausea, visual and vertigo. I feel that due to my issues i was moved out of my position of 11 years (21 yrs specialty area in my field) to an entry level all in the name of cross training. That was some rwo months into this. Tell me that's not the writting on the wall.
Mark you are correct on the SSI. I tried to shorten it a bit and guess the tre gist suffered. Hang tight Klaus. Mike |
I tried to work
The day I was concussed I went to work as a corporate training administrator. I was feeling out of it but not in pain (yet). I went back to work on and off for a month when the pain wasn't too severe. I was eventually fired for attendance issues even though they were all excused. I was still considered a temporary worker and my review for permanent hiring came when I was unable to work on a consistent basis. Also, Indiana is an "at will" state, so the company can legally fire me for any reason or no reason at all. I was extremely upset about this at the time, but living with anger and resentment was doing me no good. I now view this unfortunate experience as a chance to grow and explore the numerous possibilities available to me. :cool:
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Slowly I am getting back to perhaps 50% of what I normally could do prior to injury. I limit my time on the computer, although if it is just reading etc I can handle it. No data entry etc...I start getting a headache. What I still can't handle is noise or sudden bursts of light etc. That brings on the pressure headache almost instantaneously. So if I am doing "light" work I'm okay..anything that requires too much "figuring out" (like trying to figure out the right words..LOL) I do go back to headaches, eye pressure, nervousness etc. It's indredibly hard to hold yourself back when you are a small business owner..there are just so many jobs that only I can do; otherwise explaining is worse than doing it myself...I do delegate whatever I can. I know my limits right now. I have to keep within those in order to constantly progress in a positive way. |
I was working about 60-80 hours a week on average before the auto accident. Because I had increased intracranial pressure (iicp) for the first six months before the doctors realized it, I was on bed rest due to being in very severe pain. (1mg of dilaudid which is 10x stronger than 1mg of morphine only cut my pain in half for short period of time - a few hours. So, I couldn't even move or speak for months and I needed assistance with everything I did.) In addition, the iicp most likely caused my brain further damage than the initial injury.
I had three regular jobs before the accident. I am a professional audio engineer and technician for live events and I work full time (40 hrs/wk) for a local university film & TV department. The other 20-40 hours I worked each week were gigs I had in theatres. I've been doing this kind of work for fifteen years and it's the only kind of work I've done since I was in college. I used to be very strong. My full time job contract requires that I am able to lift 75 lbs. Well, being on the bed rest destroyed my strength and stamina. I started working 12 hours a week on Aug 1 this year. A little over a year after the car accident I was in. I tried to go up to 18, but the doctor reduced me back down to 12 after about a week because there was a significant decline in my speech and cognitive functioning. I need a lot of rest. I am going to be re-evaluated tomorrow to se if I can go up to 20 hrs/wk. Unfortunately, I don't think I can. Our department supports 700 undergrads and about 100 grad students and they returned last week at the start of the semester and I've been busier than I was when I first returned as a result. I'm really struggling. I am only able to work for the university film & tv dept and there's no way I could work in a theatre right now. I lost the ability to multitask because of the injury and I would be a danger to myself or others if I tried to work on a stage right now. I'm very much hoping that the ability to multitask returns, I excelled at multi-tasking before the accident. I'm getting better and I'm very determined to be ALL better. But it's a slow process for me and a lot of hard work. I used to be able to unload semi trucks full of gear etc. and now lifting grocery bags makes me sore. I literally feel disabled. My processing speed is still very slow compared to what it was, everything takes more than twice as long as it used to. I'm not even half as productive when I'm at work now than before the accident. BUT I am MUCH better than I was one month ago and I was better then than I was a month before that and so on. I have really been improving since they finally relieved the abnormal pressure that was inside my skull due to the swelling caused by the concussion. I have a lot of hope and it grows stronger every day. I had almost lost all hope right before the spinal tap that relieved the pressure in January. I am usually a very optimistic person, so having hope goes a long way with me. My work is my true passion in life and it has brought me great joy for my entire life! I would be very sad if I was not able to return to it. |
Im sad to say that my attempt at working failed miserably. After being back for 2 months, all my symptoms came back with a vengeance and my Neurologist today said i had no choice....she is putting me on disability for 3 months at least. So sad that i couldnt push through this and continue working. Sooooo frustrated! But i know im preventing myself from healing by working right now. Im 5 months post TBI and back at square 1. Im lucky to be in California and have state disability, but i lost all my leave benefits and now have to pay Cobra - $650 for my insurance a month. Im alienating all of my friends, my roommate and feel like i am such a burden and emotional basket case for everyone to tolerate. I hate my brain!
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So sorry to hear that, nightnurse. :( :( :(
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I just started back to work last week. It has been 39 days since my accident. I work part time at a hospital in the L&D dept and I am a full time student. After a week off school I could not afford to miss any more. Luckily all of my classes are quiet and I am only there 2 hours a day, but I still left with major headaches. Work has been hit and miss. I have only worked 4 shifts so far and depending on how busy, noisy, stressful it is I will earthier have a splitting headache like someone is stabbing me, or just shooting pains. I know I am very early into my recovery and hope my symptoms improve, but I am honesty not sure if I can handle work yet. I keep thinking about switching jobs to a nice calm quiet work environment like a library or something, but that probably wouldn't be able to pay my bills.
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My Neurologist just switched me to Gabapentin last week. I think its starting to make a difference, but I'm not sure yet. It could just be a few good days then back to the same old same old. Staying hopeful though. Any experience with this med? What were you taking and how did you know you didn't need it anymore? Glad your feeling better.
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