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-   -   I give up. (https://www.neurotalk.org/traumatic-brain-injury-and-post-concussion-syndrome/164634-i-give-up.html)

SpaceCadet 02-09-2012 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ginnie (Post 849992)
I really wish I had some words of comfort. I have known the depression you are going though, and have locked myself away for long periods of time like you are doing. I didn't have the brain trauma, I had an emotional trauma. I also had alot of medical issues to deal with at the sametime.I did go for council. I did start taking medications too for the depression. I told all my doctors what happened to me, and I finally got a pro-bono lawyer.

What got me out of this really started when I found this site. I was on overload, and could not cope with anything. If you can keep coming back here, even for a little while each day, it will give you some strengh and encouragement to keep trying. I wish you were not alone. I was lucky to have a friend that lives with me who helped me to get out of bed. Truthfully, I may be better with my physical parts, but this emotional stuff still gets to me. Beating back depression is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.
Since there is no resolution with my situation, I cannot resolve my emotional issues. I have to take part of my family to court. Until these issues are resolved in court, I am stuck in this funk, and still dealing with the physical stuff too. This site has helped me more than I can express.
None of what you are going through is easy. I don't think any of us has magic to make it go away. I only know that I get some strength from the other people here who can and do relate to the problems I have. That compassion has helped me more than anything else. I want my old life back too, and I 'm not going to get that no matter what I do. You kind of have to accept where you are at, and then try to move forward the best way you can. If you can get council, with someone who will have compassion and give you some coping skills, that may help you to make the first steps.

I hope you will come back here and keep trying to express what you are feeling. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. Even with your injury.
Things can and do get better with the right kind of help. If you try to reach out, this site and the people here won't let you down. The brokenness you feel can get better. I have come to accept, things I never thought I could before. I pray alot too. It starts to get better when you allow others to reach out back to you. I also hope you can do some kind of distraction from the depression, take a break, I read, and found I go to some place, any place than where I am at. Great Escape and it works. Even if it is just a paragraph. Your focus chances to something else. I really do care about the folks I meet here, and that includes you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. ginnie

Hello, thank you for you response, story and words of encouragement.

I just want to add that I'm not hiding out in my room because I'm depressed....I'm hiding in the room because I can't function. Depression is a problem I'm having but its not the underlining problem. I can't do anything without becoming overloaded....anything does that for me really...and when I say overloaded, I'm not talking about oh I'm overloaded, if I lay down for 15 min it will go away. I'm talking severely overloaded just by something small as a conversation where I can't function for the rest of the day....and sometimes the next. My threshhold seems to get smaller and smaller all the time. Pretty soon I'm not gonna be able to write on here anymore...seems to be headed in that direction.

I'm not over-exaggerating. It's very very bad and I can't put my finger on why I can tolerate less and less as the weeks go by. I don't even want to ask a doctor, they are no help.

SpaceCadet 02-09-2012 06:05 PM

You guys are amazing, I love how I can just come here and write how I'm feeling in a post and get tons of support from everyone. I don't have anyone else to really talk to about things...my younger siblings are too young, my mom is at work and school most the time...and I'm too embarrassed to talk to my dad's side of the family about what I'm going through.

Thanks.

ginnie 02-09-2012 06:09 PM

I understand better
 
This must have to do with the injury itself. Depression is a by-product of your injury. You can't take stimulation in any format for long. I am getting that. If this is seriously getting worse, and not responding to rest or anything else, you need to go in for another consultation. I know you said doctors have told you nothing or have not helped. Going in the direction you are going, is what I am worried about. Can you get to another neuro? You can't just lay back and except that kind of life, it is not good enough, as your quality of life period is getting hurt by this injury. Where is your home state? And TBI was diagnosed and nothing more was done for you? There has to be more help out there than what you are getting. What have you done so far with the medical field? Don't answer today if you are not up to it. I understand. I don't want to make your condition worse. I want you quality of life to get better. There has to be a better direction for you. I hope others on this site will respond to, and try to offer direction. I will look on the PC for symptoms you are describing with regard to injury. I wish I could help you. ginnie

SpaceCadet 02-09-2012 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ginnie (Post 850007)
This must have to do with the injury itself. Depression is a by-product of your injury. You can't take stimulation in any format for long. I am getting that. If this is seriously getting worse, and not responding to rest or anything else, you need to go in for another consultation. I know you said doctors have told you nothing or have not helped. Going in the direction you are going, is what I am worried about. Can you get to another neuro? You can't just lay back and except that kind of life, it is not good enough, as your quality of life period is getting hurt by this injury. Where is your home state? And TBI was diagnosed and nothing more was done for you? There has to be more help out there than what you are getting. What have you done so far with the medical field? Don't answer today if you are not up to it. I understand. I don't want to make your condition worse. I want you quality of life to get better. There has to be a better direction for you. I hope others on this site will respond to, and try to offer direction. I will look on the PC for symptoms you are describing with regard to injury. I wish I could help you. ginnie

ginne,

So far I've been seen by 2 neurologists. The first office I was seeing referred me to a psychiatrist for a mental health evaluation. I'm currently on an anti-depressant...that doesn't seem to be working properly. The second neurologist sent me for a blood test, eeg and mri. I did the eeg and blood test but not the mri...I had one in December so I didn't think I needed another...now I'm thinking I do. I tried Cognitve Behavioral Therapy but it was too overwhelming. I've tried no other therapy...I don't know where to start? How can you treat over-stimulation that varies every day? I thought I had it down...I knew my limits but now my limit is less than it was before and the results of over-stimulation are worse.

ginnie 02-10-2012 11:00 AM

Re: little at a time
 
I care about you. Keep talking to the folks here who know about TBI more than I do. It is such a hard problem to deal with. I am here and praying for you. ginnie


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