I seriously can't take this anymore. I haven't been fine since my symptoms showed up in September. I've been hiding in my room like a hermit, shutting myself off from the world...and I'm not seeing any results.

Every day, I wake up and it's something else...some different uncomfortable feeling. It's not just anxiety and PCS symptoms I'm dealing with, it's psychological stuff too. I can't even explain the way I feel everyday...I don't know how to explain it. I wish I could just have some typical PCS symptoms, that would be great.

Right now, I'm all screwed up...I could barely put together some macaroni and cheese. My brain feels like it's completely shut down and I've gone mentally retarded. I had horrible chest pains earlier right around where my heart is, my face feels hot, I've got pressure in my head and neck...but the physical symptoms isn't what is bothering me, it's the psychological, uncomfortable, just not right feeling I'm having.

I didn't even do anything yesterday...or the day before. I stayed in my room and occasionally posted on here...I just laid in bed. That's pretty much what I do everyday...and I still don't feel right. I had a few good days at the beginning of this month where I felt "almost normal". It was great...but that doesn't happen much. That's actually the first time I've felt like that since the injury.

The only thing I can think of that might be making me feel like this is blood pressure. They say you can't tell if you have high blood pressure though...it has no symptoms. So I don't know.....my heart is beating so hard (not fast, just hard and weird) right now its rocking my body as I lay in bed. I'm starting to get delirious.

I don't know...I just give up. I can't take care of my son like this.

I might be going off to the psychiatric ward here pretty soon.