Hey, I found myself to the forums again, wanted to say hello, I don't remember a lot, but your handle I recognized (thank god for spell check, big word for me).

I am still going through my issues, however, a lot of the time I get the 'there is no blood test for TBI so it is a tricky call on what is wrong with you'. My MR, CT and 72EEG are normal, my neuropsych testing (twice in the last couple years) and memory problems (with some psych issues) are still here, and worse. In the last week, I have lost my umbrella (I don't lose things but lost it today and it is raining) and I have played the same lotto ticket twice on different days for the same lotto... I usually forget the day, however, when I forget I know how to find it (today is wednesday ), but in the moment, I am lost. Doctor's ask me dumb questions like what day is it but I have appointments with them, so I know the day (its on my ipad and how I show up for the appointment). Ugh.

I see what I think is the top TBI doctor in NY, Dr. Steven Flanagan. He is also the chairman at NYU Rehab Hospital. I feel he thinks I only go there for him to write disability letters for me, and it is so far from the truth, however, the last couple times I have asked him (because others told me I need them from him). I have paranoia and anxiety issues, and he tells me they are pscyh issues, not TBI. But I believe, if I never had the injury, I would never have the psych issues. Dr. Nadkarni, a NeuroPsych NYU doctor is my psych doctor, but I think he thinks I am making everything up because my tests (except neuropsych tests) are good. Money is tight, but I just spend how I want to, my judgement is horrible but at the end, I manage to get the main bills paid, though I have thousands of dollars in medical co-payments due, and I owe NY State around 10 grand (with the penalties).

I work. I work every day, and I suffer every day. A lot of people don't like me, but many do. I don't know what to do about this, I am as I am.

Mark from Idaho, I dream of just hitting the lotto, and then moving to a place very secure. Monaco, Easter Island, somewhere isolated and small. Also with the paranoia I cannot meet women, I'm 48, I would love to have children, but that lowers the market, however, I am not an unpleasant looking person (I'm big, 6 feet, 250 pounds, I need a gym buddy). BUt I am slos not going to walk up to someone and talk, and since i am only at work, or home, it sucks to be me.

I guess I just wanted to ramble, and seeing your name made me feel good. Thanks for being around. I know a lot, example, I know others are worse off than I am, but (I said but, ugh) but, it doesn't make it better. If I hurt my leg, and I see 10 people without legs, yes, I have compassion for them, but my leg hurts. I can't shake this. I should be a better person. I do stop and help people in need, and I never do it just so someone would say I did a good thing, I just do it, and I will not bring up what I do, that would negate what I just said. You know, I have a problem when I meet mean people, but I cannot believe the world is all bad, but it is like flipping a coin, even if you flip the coin head 100 times in a row, the next flip is always 50/50.

Sorry to rant. I have Chloe on my lap now (the poodle). The last couple days I have shown pictures to some friends of Chloe and they asked her age, I was telling them 2 years old. I thought that may be wrong, I looked, she is 3...ugh.

Thanks for listening, and if ANYONE has a comment, please post, I am good with positive or negative comments.

Jeffrey

Hi, Jeffrey,

Good to heart from you.

Your experience with the neuropsych sounds par for the course as with the TBI Rehab doc.

Sorry for the delay. I was not up to reading a long post earlier in the day.

I have a perspective for you when you are challenged by mean people. I look at them as more injured than me. When I would be in the car with the kids, we would joke about that poor man with the arthritic fingers, you know, the arthritic hand with only one finger extended.

The same attitude works with mean people. Imagine how bad their day is going. Maybe they had a fight with their spouse. Or worse, they may live a life with rarely a smile offered to them

Then there are those people who haven't a clue. They are truly to be pitied.

You can hold you head up and be proud that you don't treat others that way.

Hang in there.

My best to you.