History: Approximately 9 months ago I had a concussion after using my head as my brakes at about 85mph when the front end of my bike (which was headed off track) dug into the dirt launching me over the front, head first into the packed ground. According to those there, I was out for 2-3 minutes, had medics at my side before I regained consciousness. Although I ended up with a couple days in the hospital, no real internal head injuries for further concern. Sustained a few other, relatively minor injuries (broken arm/hand/fingers, only one bone required surgery, bruised lung, general bruising and trauma).

Until just recently (get to that in a bit) I had no memory from the time I fixated on the dirt until about partway through my chopper ride other than a couple random flashes (which were nothing more than a literal flash). Once my memory "kicked in" it's fairly reliable from there on out - I still felt like crap so it wasn't crystal clear, but it's there.

About a week ago I had the unfortunate experience of riding up on a fresh (on the street) crash - it ended up being a pretty traumatic day for everyone involved. The part that brings me here, however, is the fact that while I was there I had a sliver ("island") memory of my own crash suddenly fill in...I justified that the flash that filled in was similar to what I had experienced, so it made sense.

Problem is, I had another (new) one tonight, for a different piece of the puzzle. Although I was having a brief thought about cars being scary when you're on a bike, it really had nothing to do with the flash that filled in. The problem is not that the blanks are filling in - it's the physical response that's coming with it. For a moment, it seems as if my entire body goes into shock just as the memory returns. Threw me for a loop tonight! I knew it had happened the other day, but with everything else going on, it didn't register as an issue.

I've heard this is an anxiety response, and controlling the triggers (and reactions) is the way to deal with it, but I can't seem to find much useful information on these kinds of things and the practicality of dealing with it.

Does anyone have links or info on the practical side of dealing with this kind of situation?

On a side note, I was back out on the track 4 1/2 weeks after getting my arm put back together, passed my NRS and have my first race this coming weekend! Just don't want some random flashback to cause problems - not real worried about when I'm actually riding since you're pretty focused, but leading up to the start....eh, kinda concerned about keeping my head where it needs to be.

What you experienced is called sensory recall. The brain gets triggered by the visual, maybe sounds and smells of the new event. This can also trigger some of the emotional trauma. This is sort of like PTSD.

There are therapists who can help you with it but since your injury was from a voluntary action, the therapy will be more difficult.

It is difficult for me to understand all that you have posted because you appear to be attempting to use sarcasm and such to describe what happened. The concussed brain often has a difficult time sorting through sarcasm and other indirect comments.

I don't think your flashback concerns are the biggest issue you have. Getting back on the track and subjecting your brain to further injury is a much bigger issue. Your next head impact will cause more damage from a less intense impact.

You might benefit from a sports/performance psychologist. Your reactions will be effected by your injury and these flashbacks so you need to seriously consider the risks.

I didn't respond to your post originally because I wasn't sure if what you experienced was PTSD or something else, and I also was alarmed by how nonchalantly you were approaching an activity that could cause further damage to your brain. After recovering my cognitive function, I pretty much determined I would be very careful not to do anything to lose it again. This doesn't mean I plan on sitting idly for the rest of my life, because life is life and you have to take some risks, but repeated impacts like your last one can cause permanent damage to your brain. I'm glad you are doing so well, but take care of that brain! It's the only one you have! Good luck!

Honey Badger- I don't want to sound like I'm telling you to go looking for trouble where there is none- but your post indicated your concussion was not much of a big deal. I know it could have been worse, but from what I understand, when you bang your brain (or use it as brakes the damage can sometimes be diffuse, so a CT scan or MRI might not show much bleeding. But the neurons can get damaged (sudden stop, twisting, banging on skull, etc can cause trouble!) To know: concussions are cumulative. Look around at information available- I've read people who get one concussion tend to get more- maybe sometimes because the first one resulted in a little impulsivity? I mention impulsivity because one area often concussed is the frontal area of the brain- and when it gets injured, that's one thing that can happen: impulsivity. Maybe, since you face-planted, you could look for some info on frontal lobe function or damage? I say this because when people impact that way, sometimes the brain bounces to the back of the skull and then forward again- and hits the front rather hard. My thought is that if you know what to look for in terms of injury and identify some things that apply, maybe you could take steps to avoid problems? In case you didn't already figure it out, I am frontal-lobe injured. I didn't know it for 15 months after it happened- but had plenty of symptoms during that time that caused plenty of trouble. Don't want it to happen to you! Be careful on that bike, k?