[rjbillsfan2013]

A little story of faith, if it would please anyone.
I was going down a terribly deadly spiral over these past three weeks. After sleeping literally 2-4 hours all together in 21 days, i was at my wits end,

I was so exhausted from my already life ruining symptoms, (intolerence to anything, overstimulation just waking up,vision off, head in another world, tinnitus driving me crazy) only made worse by my growing anxiety and depression and the kicker was the lack of sleep.

I cant believe this would ever happen to me, but my head was exploding and i was down to the last straw, i told my mom we had to go to the hopspital because if they couldnt put me to sleep i was afraid i might kill myself to end the agony. The look on my parents faces broke my heart in pieces but i knew i couldnt suffer like this.

BY some miracle my neurologist called while we were in the ER, after the Dr said they could do nothing and suggested taking an atvian with another medicine for dizziness.

BY the grace of god i somehow laiddown and rested, not slept even, but rested four for/five hours where i literally felt spiritual warfare going around me. idc if you believe in god or what, but i literally hadevil calling me to quit and a rush of positive reinforcement came.

I thought of all the people it would be unfair to if i did anything, i thought about all i would miss, if i really closed my eyes forever. I swear i was surrounded by angels that day.

By Gods grace my attitude and symptoms subsided enough so when the psych eval people came we sent them away.

Please believe me, im not a crazy kid, just a guy like most of you who had everything going for them taken in a blink of an eye.

The worry that i have done too much damage still lingers in the back, but im certainly dealing with it better,

With the help of atvian and trazadone i finally slept probably 4 or so hours for the first time in weeks last night, woke up feeling great as far as pcs goes!

Got a new book, a few model toys and remaining optimistic that it will keep getting better. getting a neuro-opt appointment to help my eyes, and continuing vestib at home.

God bless if you made it this far along,
my prayers to you

rj