I know I am supposed to convince myself that I can still enjoy life and do important things - but every day is too much of a struggle.

It has been over 2 years and, despite plenty of rest and time off work, I'm not improving at all.

I really don't want to end it but I cannot keep going either. What's the point? I wake up, feel like crap, work, feel worse, go home, sleep, repeat. And for years!

My family and friends have stopped asking how I am - which is fine and I don't blame them for trying to move on. I've also seen every specialist under the sun but to no avail.

So I am starting to plan which is worrying.

I guess I'm looking for some inspiration or hope that things will get better but I just can't see that happening.