I am wondering if any of you have suggestions for me. I am now almost 2 years pcs and on sick leave from teaching.

Now the university (and long term disability insurance) is of course pushing me to get back to work, even though my binocular vision (accommodation and convergence) is still not working well.

I can read fiction for 30 minutes and then I need to take a break for about 4 hours. Any academic work is too difficult and I cannot write.

I cannot even imagine reading lecture notes, let alone grading exams or papers. It is hard for me to think that I can get back to work. But perhaps I am just feeling afraid.

If I cannot read, can I work? I will meet with my doctor next week. I feel pressured which makes me anxious.

My daily schedule has been waking up with the kids, doing a daily shop, rest, walking, rest, pick up kids, rest, drive kids, rest, cook dinner, and then early to bed.

It really is hard to imagine teaching.

Any advice is most welcome!

Hi Berkley,

I can't see how you will work! ? Have you had neuropsych testing? That would support your disabilities.

How do they expect you to function? Sorry to hear you have this stress. Life in this spot is already stressful enough!

I wish I had suggestions for speed healing, but then I'd be hailed a hero and none of us would be in the spot we are in.

There's no way to 'make' it happen. They should study up on brain injuries being that they are a university.

Peace and wellness,

Jace

Reading your post seems so logical, I know. Somehow, when the university questions me, it made me question myself.

The neuropsych was the first to identify my vision issues. He said that a lot of the testing relied on having stable vision, and until I had one, he couldn't reliably test me with accurate results.

I suppose I could take the test and that in itself would prove the point.

Thanks for the reassurance. I feel like I have gone down the rabbit hole.

BB,

Have you tried reading and computer work with an eye covered ? It would reduce the visual processing load substantially.

Berkley,

Don't let anyone make you think it's in your psyche. Who would CHOOSE to live like we do? I'd rather lose an arm, a leg, many other things over this! I am a prisoner from life.

Use your resources and get an advocate if you have to, but you stand up for yourself! You are not crazy or lazy!

My husband is my voice when mine fails.

Also, isn't your LTD a part of your benefit package? If you signed a contract with work you have a right to that benefit. Don't let them discriminate against you.

I wish this spirit was with me all the time. I sound quite tough don't I...it's easy when you have lots of time to think and next to no distractions.

Peace, STRENGTH, and wellness,

Jace

Hi BB,

Does your employer have responsibilities to provide you with accommodations under the Americans with Disabilities Act? (Forgive my ignorance, I'm Canadian.)

For example, wouldn't they, at least, have to provide a TA to do your marking?

Are you tenured? Perhaps if they realize how much it will cost them to provide the supports necessary for you to do your job, they'll either back off, and give you more time to recover, or try to buy you out with a settlement.

I agree with the others about documenting your limitations through a neuro-psych, etc... Sadly, you might find that you will need to fight for your rights. As much as I hate them, you might need a lawyer to smarten up your employer.

Hang in there.

Thanks for the responses. I feel very naive.

I am still on the tenure track and on my third year. I was given one year credit since I had published a book. Even though before the accident my reviews were favorable, I'm sure my sick leave is not helping my tenure case.

They are trying to make accommodations, but I'm not sure how they can. I'm not blind but it feels almost like that is what I cannot do is read or be visual.

I look at my lecture notes, and I keep drawing a blank. I can barely read them, and I know I have lost a body of knowledge-dates, information, names- that I use to know. I am not sure that I could teach these-let alone read them!

I have tried to do the eye patch, but since I'm use to binocular vision, I get headaches. Even with almost of two years of vision therapy, my brain is still suppressing my left eye, and thus the head aches and inability to read.

I've tried audio books, but with tinnitus, it makes me a bit nauseous (I know, is that odd?).

I keep trying to rush this-to try to get better-but I can't seem to figure this out.

Deep breaths....

Your injuries are from an MVA, right?

Are you litigating against the other driver? If not, you probably should get on that ASAP, in case there a time limit on starting an action.

Yes, suing is stressful, but getting a settlement might help reduce your long term financial anxieties.

Have you seen Spreeder?

It's an app that displays text to you one word at a time. I have problems with convergence and scanning so I have trouble focusing on individual words when I read. Instead I just hover my vision over the text and try to get the gist of things.

Spreeder is nice because it removes the work of having to refocus on each word.

There are also apps and software available that will read the text to you at the pace you are comfortable with, it is associated with "accessibility".

I work at a University and there are lots of programs available for people with limitations… you should contact your HR Dept. to see what might be available to assist you. Ask specifically about a Disability Dept. - they typically assist students but I think they are also there to help staff and faculty.

One of the professors I work with has MS and the Disability Dept on campus pays for him to have a student assistant with him 100% of the time that he is on campus to open doors for him and carry things for him and that kind of thing.

Maybe you could have a student assistant help read things to you and keep organized?

It's difficult to go back to work and scary. I couldn't work for over a year after the MVA I was in because of the concussion I sustained.

I didn't think I could return because I couldn't function the way I did before the accident. I was surprised at the work arounds I figured out AFTER I went back to work that I didn't even think of before I went back to work. And people were surprisingly supportive and helpful towards me during my recovery and still are.

Maybe you could have a meeting with HR, your union rep, your Dr. and the Chair of your Dept. and maybe the Dean to arrange a schedule that won't cause setbacks for you?