I know! I know! I'm struggling with trying to think through if I can return to work. I can't really read more than 30 minutes at a time. I can't really write or think like I use to (I'm a university professor). I'm not dynamic thinker anymore.

The person I use to be is no longer. It's now almost 2 years-I'm no longer in mourning. I'm too fatigued to be angry. I marvel at the energy I use to have.

I'm not quite angry-not celebrating the little things. Suspended somewhere in between.

I can do more than I could before (which is great!) - but I doubt that I can do all that I could before.

But I saw ambulances and police cars surround someone laying on the playground today after picking up my kids. I don't mean to be morbid - but if anything this pcs has taught me is that it all could have been much worse.

be well all of you- this community has given me so much. has affirmed so much.