[Bruins88]

I know our battle is tough. A big portion of it is that we all seem to lose our social lifes, and are afraid of going out into those situations because of the pain we endure. I had a wedding to attend yesterday, a close family friend, was no way of getting out of it. BAD IDEA.

Ive never experienced a headache this bad in my life, on top of the constant zoning out and random body parts moving that I had no control over. I spent about 85% of the wedding (was only there for 3 hours) either sitting outside, or sitting in my wifes car.

Im not sure if it was all the loud noise, all the people/commotion or all the flashing lights. But it was like I was being tortured. I honestly dont remember hardly any of it.

Then to top it all off, I get home, where im hoping for peace and quiet, but no the people the next street over are setting off fireworks like its going out of style. I literally laid there in bed, frozen, couldnt move for about 4-5 minutes. I tried to open my mouth to yell for my wife, but couldnt, couldnt even reach for my phone. Finally I was able to snap out of it, and here I am awake this morning.

How do we avoid these mistakes? I miss my social life, I miss interactions, its been 7 months, and I can still barely go to a cookout for more than an hour or two. And usually when I do make it that long, im not around the others, im hiding. Its embarrassing. At least at the cookouts everyone knows my deal and whats up and are very understanding. But at the wedding last night, I was asked multiple times if I were ok by complete strangers, and my head just hurt to much to even open my mouth.

At this stage of the game, I wonder what is going on that is still causing this. Im not going to lie, ive put myself into a lot of social interactions over these 7 months, and none of them have succeeded, so its not for the lack of trying.

Beyond frustrated, and sorry if this post is all over the place, I cant even get a proper train of thought going right now.

[Sitke]

Hey,

I'm sure someone who knows much more than me will be along but just want to say my accident was early last year and I experience the same things that happen to you.

Noise, lights, people talking can give me a horrendous headache and I get so overwhelmed.

I know you miss your social life, I just cannot go to parties/get together's where there are going to a lot of people/noise.

Last night with all the fireworks going off down the street, I left the air on and all windows closed, I sometimes walk around with ear plugs in.

Think the way you felt at the wedding and when you were home says it is all way too much for you right now, I wouldn't be embarrassed, if you feel the need to tell anyone I'd just explain it to them.

PS. I've also felt better at certain times then it all comes crashing back down.

Hope you start to feel better today and can have a quite day!

[Mark in Idaho]

Social events can be a big struggle. The first thing is to wear ear plugs. Hopefully, they will lessen the audio stimulation to a level that you can tolerate for a while. Bright or flashing lights just need to be avoided. And, always have an escape route to a safe place.

And, be ready with a memorized explanation. "I suffered a brain injury a few months ago and my brain does not process the lights and sounds properly. The lights and sounds have given me a horrible head ache."

This is not something you can push through. I bet you will fell lousy for a few days.

My best to you.

[Hockey]

Yes, brain injury can play havoc with your social life, too.

I second Mark, you can't just will your way through these things. I tried the "just ignore it" stage - it was a disaster.

I've had to accept that there are some things I just can't handle anymore. A dance, with loud music, a crowd and strobe lights, would be way more than I could endure.

When I really have to go somewhere, I do what I can to make the situation more manageable. I use earplugs, take frequent breaks away from the action and depart as soon as possible.

If I feel that a gathering is just going to be too big and noisy for me, I make my regrets and than arrange to treat the host to a quiet alternative. For example, I just couldn't face my aunt and uncle's 50th anniversary bash, so I invited them to a brunch at our house. I do so much better in a familiar setting.

I also plan ahead for outings. I rest the day before and accept that I might need a few quiet days afterwards. Pretty much any busy day needs to be followed by a calm one.