I need someone outside of the circle to give me some guidance. this Is long just to warn you lol. so here is how it went down. I was working at great job at investment bank 9 years ago but decided I was depressed. I don't know why lol. anyway, I was put on maoi and of course drank beer with it and had mild thalamic stroke, which caused horrific post stroke spsasms and pain. I was on oxycodone for the pain. it was about two years later and my senile pain doctor asked me how the pain was and being a pill junky I said it could always be better..

that was a mistake. I knew he was senile but I didn't think he was dangerous. he was. he gave me subutex and told me to take it with the oxycodone for pain. if you know anything about subutex you are right now saying omg!! subutex is for addiction not pain and I was no addict. but he was senile and if you take subutex within 12 hours of oxycodone you get devastating precipitated withdrawals. so bad I called my mother and said mommy!! I was never so sick in my life. precipitated withdrawal doesn't usually cause brain injury but it will exacerbate one if you have one already. it did and I did.

I would get worse for the next two years, the first year not even being able to wash or change myself with constant vomiting and delirium and in and out of two psych wards due to the effect of this horrifying interaction. the headaches were so horrifying that I went to bed with a handful of percocets in case I had to kill myself. I lost 100 pounds in 6 months. my sleep horrors were just beginning. as well as horrifying sexual problems. I sued the doctor but lost and the medical board of course found him guilty of no wrongdoing. great old ny city.

then I got the concussion, which was bound to happen. I could barely stand. I went face down on the concrete and woke up five minutes later. went to the hospital and told the usual. to rest. don't do anything strenuous for a while which I couldn't anyway.

since my mri's were coming up fine, doctors thought all these problems were depression. so the geniuses with my ingenious consent, put me back on an maoi, but in my stupor I forgot to stop my ssri and went into serotonin syndrome. almost died there. don't really remember much but I survived.

so there you have it. my sadistic history. I left out the part where at one point I went insane and emptied all my accounts and put them into penny stocks and lost everything. I still can't figure that one out as it is not me at all

so now here I am 9 years from the day this started. I am 360 pounds, having lost 50 basically from starving myself the past few months. my biggest issues are waking up to terribly vivid dreams with sharp burning shooting pains going each and every way throughout my body along with horrifying tremors.

complete loss of nocturnal erections, chronic feeling of brain fog and bugs all over my head and body, severe men problems though not as bad as the first few years but bad enough lol. chronic irritation on back of head and neck. severe chronic stiff neck, tinnitus, stabbing sore pain where the brain meets spine, severe faintness when standing too long but can't take tilt table because im too fat, severe bowel problems, left side of face is chronically red and burns al the time. that happened after precipitated withdrawal and no doctor can answer what caused it would love to know.

most of these problems probably fall under dysautonomia as one good doctor has suggested. one vision test suggesting damage to brain stem, cerebellum and thalamus.

I am constantly in bed because I wake up with the terrible problems that I've described above and take a Xanax, advil pm, ambien or whatever old painkiller happens to be lying around to fall asleep again.

I am taking Neurontin Xanax ambien cymbata losartan simvostatin dexilant

I have recently seen neurologist gave me more Neurontin and the ambien and gave me an emg. and I have balance test and mri of full spine an head just for precaution and I am sure it will be fine. he said I would have fibromyalgia but I dont have any tender points so he says I am a puzzle. maybe I should ask him to test hormones and thyroid?

at this point I am at a loss of what to do. what I do best is lay in bed and think how good life could have been if this didn't happen and how much money I would have and how my old friends left me and I lost a great job and 10 years of my life and blah blah blah.

what do I do now, after nine years and with my current symptoms and weight and outlook. who do I see. what tests to I take if any. what meds do I try if any. help!! lol. sorry this was so long
and thank you so much for reading. girlfriend is great but running out of sympathy. I drove a cab some years back for half a year but it was brutal and would have to lose 60 more pounds to even think of it again

I am so sorry Mark!!!

Have you looked into an anti-inflammatory diet? basically consists of cutting all wheat, sugar and dairy... along with some other stuff... may help with over all blahness and then maybe you can go out an walk for 5 minutes a few times a day...

I have started seeing far and now I need to start the walking part I'm also thinking of heading up to Johns Hopkins or Columbia in Manhattan to see if they could get rid of these tremors palpitations shakes whatever you wanna call it that I get when I wake up. First they are really aggravating and second they are taking a toll on my heart.