[fkd5322]

I had the concussion on New Years 2012. So approximately two years ago. I had the concussion skateboarding down a hill. I was intoxicated when the accident happened, I had a good amount to drink before I fell and sustained the injury. I don't know if that makes a difference but I figure all the details I can tell you the better. So I remember skating down the massive hill and when I reached a speed that my skateboard was not able to handle I remembering looking down at my skateboard and seeing get "speed wobbles" and that's last thing I remember seeing.

I then remember waking up back at my friends house where a new years party was going on but I was in the bathroom throwing up. I think I was unsure if this was direct cause of me hitting my head or me drinking so much. I was definitely out of it unable to think clearly about what was going on. They eventually laid me down on a bed and that is where I laid for the night. No one called an ambulance.

I woke up the next morning in an uncomfortable position and hungover so I went to turn over to a more comfortable position and was unable to without my head causing me utter pain. Eventually I got up to go to the bathroom. I was unable to move without my head hurting so I was walking very slowly, when in the bathroom I threw up again because of the alcohol I consumed I believe. Every time I vomited my head would feel intense pain. Then eventually my friends were leaving this house where the party had been the night before and they rushed me to get out of the bathroom that they were leaving. I didn't know where I was or the pople who lived there so I had no choice but to leave with them although I was in pain and just wanted to lye down.

My "friends" didn't have a car so I had to walk to the metro station and then take it all the way to pasadena and then walk all the way home. When I got home I quickly lied down. No one was home and when my dad did show up I told him what happened and he suggested I try and rest it off. I did..for three days. Three days of me in bed and it wasn't clear to an adult , who had been told my me that I fell and hit my head, that I should go to the hospital! I had gone to sleep three nights any of which some serious altercations could have arised. Eventually my brother took to becoming worried and I'm sure he researched head injuries on the internet and found information, not very hard to find, that someone should go to a hospital after hitting their head hard.

I remember having massive migraines in the shower. I was just laying on the shower floor feeling like my head was about to crack. But I was a "trooper" I hung in there and tried not to complain. This is crap. I am stupid for doing this and putting my health into other people, even if they are my parents, hands especially at the age of 20, but my parents don't have health insurance and I'm compassionate enough to not want to create problems for them so I went along with trying to rest it off.

On the 3rd day I went to the Emergency room and recieved a CT scan and was told there was bleeding found. I was prescribed medication "dexamethasone, which I believe is a steroid and I was prescribed something else that I cant remember. I was told to take my meds and come back the following month for another CT scan to see if the brain bleed had ceased. They even let me go home that night at the hospital seeing as my dad was their to take care and supervise me. 5 days later I had a airplane ticket to Ecaudor to go live with my mom. That plan was over.

I "rested" for a month. Rest in the eyes of me and my father and brother was only following one rule..Stay in bed. So that's what I did I stayed in bed. I stayed in bed and read. I stayed in bed and watched tv. I stayed in bed and Read some more. I would read until my eyes were strained. Who knows what else I did during that time..I may have gone out but I didn't get the actual rest that my body probably really needed. Instead I was like a person unsupervised I read, watched tv, probably played guitar and fooled around.because I didn't know that I should have been lying in bed trying to get peace and quietness.

A month later I went back to get a follow up CT scan and the good news was that the bleeding had stopped. The doctor asked how I was feeling and I had been so loopy and feeling crazy on the medication he prescribed me that I hadn't really ever felt headaches and or other symptoms of post concussion syndrome so I really didn't have much to complain about.

After the doctor visit I stopped taking the medication and a little while passed when I noticed that my smell wasn't right. Things had odors just the wrong ones..unpleasant ones. This smell I have a hard time describing. Right now at the current moment I notice that my arm pits after a workout have this strange strange odor that smells repulsive and I notice the same smell comes from fried food so neither smell like their actually suppose to but both smell like this putrid unpleasant smell. It's very tricky to get use to and easily frustrates me. Not all the smells are nasty, some are okay.

Back to the "story" Then after I had gone back for the check up and the doctor had basically let me go without stressing anything like don't read, watch tv, exercise, or go on the computer for a year which I hear some do get recommended that way of life as a way not to over stimulate your brain which needs time to recover. I was just let go... as if my recovery was over. So then living at my Uncles house where I was at it was get a job and pay rent or get out. So I got a job offer one day. It was high paying job, my first job, so I was lucky. A month or two after a concussion with bleeding I was working a sort of valet job that paid 15 an hour. I was out in the bright sun all day, not getting rest, but acting as if the concussion never happened.

Then I started realizing that a full recovery had not been made. I was having headaches but these weren't regular headaches. These felt like I had damaged my brain and now it was hurting, rightly so.Sometimes I've come to describe these headaches as a sensation that my brain is swollen and feels as it the room inside the skull is too tight.I stopped working because I was sick of fighting through this comfort of not feeling well and that's when I had to leave to go live with my mom who would financially support me and take care of me, but my mom moves alot. The house that had become home to me was gone, my parents got divorced and the bank had taken it because my parents couldn't or didn't want to continue making payments on it. My mom was now living with some stranger that I didn't even know. So I was stuck in a house with this stranger and my mom and things weren't comfortable.

Like I said my mom moved a lot. During this time and before I even had the concussion I had been in a massive depression over a loss of a first love and I know that sounds childish coming from someone of my age but I can only say that I speant four years of my life with this girl not getting much space away from her because we always wanted to be together; we were best friends and happy to be at eachothers side. So when we broke up I had become depressed and that's when I moved to california because I was at my home, the one that the bank ended up taking, alone ...my brother and father in california and my mother traveling as she always does. My childhood love who I had grown up with broke up with me and I was home alone with no friends, no family, I wasn't going to schoo, I didn't have a job.. all I had was her(not a good thing).

So now when I went to go live with my mom I started to become depressed, frustrated, angry with the situation and turn of events. I was frustrated that I had hit my head and that I was now trying to get rest when I was depressed and couldn't get any peace of mind. On top of this my mom was going to go to Ecaudor for two months and had given me the choice to stay in the strangers house or go with her. I had never been to ecaudor and didn't want to go in the state and situation I was in but I didn't want to stay with the stranger which was a nice friend of my moms. I went with her. We stayed three months and it was hell.There was drinking, depression, uncomfortablity, frustration to the max. then we came back to Jersey and my mom had bought tickets to visit spain way back when I first visited her.

So after a week of being back in the untited states we went to spain. We stayed there for 21 days and the day I got there I felt like complete crap because the day I was getting on the plane to spain I went to visit my ex and told her that i still "loved" her and had feelings for her and all the heartbrake began all over again. I went to spain like that and wanted to kill myself the day I got there. I couldn't concentrate that I was in a great location like that, I was elsewhere in my mind. In agony. 21 days passed and my mom told me that she had to go back to Ecaudor and of course that I could come or go back to the strangers house. I couldnt go back to my uncles because I didn't have a job and he wouldnt allow it anyways. So the other option was to stay there in spain with relatives of my mom who I had just met.The nice thing about spain was that there were alot of cousins of mine that i gained that were the same age as me. So insted of going back to Ecuador I stayed in spain.

I stayed in spain for 4 months. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn't want to go to ecaudor or to go live with my mom's friends( stranger to me) and I couldn't go back to my dad and brother because my uncle wouldn't allow me to. I just wanted to go back home to the house I was raised in and called home but that was over with and it was impossible to go back there. There in spain my cousins liked to party alot so we would go to clubs and drink liquir and beer and I would wake up with some of the worst hangovers I've ever had in my life all the while Iw as still in a depression over my girlfriend.

After I left spain it was only to go to New Jersey to some other persons house, then back to california, then to florida, then back to california where I am now. I have been travveling and lost. I would jsut like to return home back to my old neighborhood where everything seems familiar and comfortable. I don't want to go across seas to paris or london or new york or california anymore. I just want to go home.

Now I am still having head pains/brain pains and my smell is distorted and I still have no life. I'm not working, I don't have friends, I am not going to school although I am starting school next week so we shall see what happens with that but I feel that this concussion has changed my life for the worse and that a full reecovery has still not happend because I have not gotten any peace of mind for the last two years and whats worse is that I have fallen sometimes deeper sometimes better of with the depression. I realize now that the realationship I had with my ex girlfriend was like a marriage and I'm going through a divorce now and thats tough and plus this concussion. I can't handle it all. I need help. I know I'm better then this. I know I have more potential then this. I know I can be great. But I need a clear mind, I can't get by in this fog and gloom. My parents arn't around but they keep in touch. I wish they were around though. I feel alone.
I write all of this off the top of my head because it's full of frustration and angst and I'm venting here because I'm frustrated and don't know a way out. I can't spellcheck all of this so I'm sorry for the grammar. Thank you though, I hope to hear from you.

[poetrymom]

Hi there,

I read your story and you have been through a lot. It seems you know that you still need quiet and rest to really recover, but then, you will also have to change your life if you want to have quality of life.

First, I urge you to quit drinking alcohol. After an mTbi, you might not be able to handle it like you did before. Your brain chemistry is different. Anyhow, there are references to this up in the stickies somewhere.

Next, look over what you are eating. Cut out any junk food and add fruits and veggies. Check out the vitamin stickie and get going with good vitamins and supplements. For me, the supplements are a way of life now and I am not stopping those even though I am much better.

Can you put off school until your better? Much better. I don't think you have healed from your original injury. Or, if you have to go to school, can it be at a reduced level?

You need to put your brain first and healing it first. You only get one brain. It can heal. It does heal slowly.

Take care and let us know more of what you want.

All for now,

Poetrymom

[Mark in Idaho]

I suggest you write a journal of your past experiences and then set it aside and try to forget your past. It does not help your future. Do not get stuck going over what happened. The only thing for you to remember is the damage alcohol has done to your life.

Then, you can start to focus on your future. Forget your girlfriend. That is over. You are a different person. You can not expect her to relate to you the same as before your injury.

You have your whole future ahead. Only you can make the decisions to improve your future. Focus on your brain's health and nutrition. Garbage in...garbage out. Stop the garbage thinking and garbage food. You may need a therapist's help with the garbage thinking. I get great value from my Christian faith. Others do to. We can help you with the nutritional issues. The neurotransmitters your brain needs to function require proper nutritional support.

Have you found any Brain Injury Support Groups ? They can be a big help.

As I said, You have your whole life ahead. It will be your choices that determine what you make of it. Your head injury is only a small part of your future. You have the power to make things better.

My best to you.

[EsthersDoll]

If you don't mind me asking, where in CA do you live?

I live on the East Side of LA/Pasadena area. There aren't any Brain Injury Support Groups in this area, but if you live near here, then maybe we could start one together?

Otherwise, there are a lot of brain injury support groups on the West Side of LA, and all over the state.

I do feel like some areas, similar to my own, have no support groups and that makes me sad for people who are recovering in those areas who have no one to turn to for support. Just another reason why this forum is so important!

[fkd5322]

I live in Pasadena.

[EsthersDoll]

I'm sending you a PM.

[Crimeski]

I'm two years in with the same situation u were in 2 years ago how are you feeling now that it's been 4 years

[Mark in Idaho]

Crimeski,

Welcome to NeuroTalk

The original poster has not posted on NT since January '14.

Please feel free to tell us about your situation and symptoms. There are lots of good people here.