So, I started what I thought would be vestibular therapy last week. Was told by multiple doctors it was vertigo. turns out its not, but actually something with my brain and eyes.

Ok, so their plan of approach is to try to build my hear rate tolerance, something ive been trying to do for 10 months already. No dice so far, and no progress with them as of yet.

They dont want to me to come to therapy if I have a migraine. I told them I almost always do, so I need to push through it, they refuse.

Today they tried to treat my bad migraine and cluster headache as a tension headache. They were shocked to see the stretches and stress reductions on the neck did absolutely nothing. No surprise to me though.

Already they keep harping on the fact thats its been 10 months, and nothing is really improving. I get the feeling they feel as though this could be a waste of time. I was so happy to start this, thinking it would fix everything because of the hype it had built from the doctors. All it does is discourage me even more because you can see it and hear it in the therapists voices that they honestly dont know what to do at this point since its been so long.

I keep saying we need a more aggressive approach, they keep saying no its counter productive and will just make it worse, you need more rest. BS the resting phase is over, its been 10 months. Rest isnt and hasnt helped up to this point. Same with the crummy meds the doctors keep trying on me, all the same ones that havent worked in the past.

Just beyond frustrated at this point. I want the old me back, I want to be extremely active and fit, I want to be witty and sarcastic with a great sense of humor. Im sick of this boring, dull, pained person ive become. Im fighting the good fight, but theres only so much one can take. I refuse to accept the fact this is the new me. Im giving it my all, and I will not succumb to this.

I completely understand that you are frustrated. However, self-hatred will interfere with your recovery (stress hormones will wreck havoc on your body). Do not fuel your recovery with anger or hatred. Focus on what you want, and do not even think about what you don't want. Staying positive is one of the very few things we can do to promote recovery.

I was told by my doctor that prognosis is almost impossible or meaningless with concussions, because science still does not know much about the brain. You may wake up tmr and spontaneously recover. Scientifically unexplained recoveries happen all the time. Most importantly, you do not need permission from science to get better.

Human spirit and positive thinking can produce miracles. Do not lose hope. We should not be our worst enemies.

I understand how you feel kev, after all these years I do understand. I just wrote in another post how who I was at my job is gone. it's not all gone, I fight to keep who I was alive, but some days I just flop on the couch in surrender and then fight on the next day.
I DID get progressively worse for 18 months during my first injury and then made a remarkable recovery. the second injury not so much. but the point is things can get worse for a while before they get better. each brain and each injury is different. keep hope alive.

I am sorry you are so frustrated. I felt exactly the same way last summer. I was a year and a half into my recovery and progress was minimal.

I used to be very fit and strong - now I was so out of shape that just getting up the stairs was a monumental effort. My weight had shot up to almost 200 lbs. I looked as terrible as I felt.

Over the last year I have been gently pushing my physical limits, I've lost weight, I have learned to walk that fine line between pushing my boundaries and doing too much.

Yeah, all the cognitive issues are still there, the headaches are still there, the fatigue can be a real downer. But I feel good about my future now, I feel like I have a little bit more control of my life.

I too used to be a funny funny person. for the last 2 years every time I tried to tell a joke people would look at me with pity or worse - they would get teary eyed. This summer my brain remembered how to be funny again. Now when people cry its because they are laughing so hard at my jokes.

So please, hang in there - find a way to feel good about yourself again. I am rooting for you.

Jan