Hi all.

First, I want to thank all of the amazing contributors that I've already seen on this group. I've been cruising this support group for a little while as I recently have been gaining firsthand knowledge of TBI and PCS.

A little about me: I'm married with four children ages 5 to 13 years old. On Sunday September 21st our solid wood pantry door broke off the hinge and clocked me in the left temple. I didn't think too much of it at the time, I've had plenty of had knocks before, what's another mild concussion? I pushed on through the rest the day really not feeling too bad. Maybe a little bit dizzy and definitely had a headache but I didn't feel too bad overall. I felt a little tired. Just another bump on the head.

I'm a middle school language arts teacher and I went into work the following Monday. About halfway through the day I knew something was terribly off. I was feeling very dizzy, I was mixing up my words, and yes my students were pointing that out to me, I had a hard time concentrating and I had no appetite at all. I called my doctors consulting nurse line at lunchtime and she advised that I go in to urgent care as soon as possible. After some basic office test and a normal CAT scan I was informed that I had a concussion (what, really?!) and that I should take it easy for a couple of days if possible. I took the doctors advice and took the next two days off of work. I essentially slept those two days almost entirely. I think denial that something worse was wrong and partially due to my stubborn nature I went ahead and tried to return to work Thursday morning. On my 20 minute drive in I probably had the thought at least four times that "I really should just turn around and go home." When I got to work and went to sign in I broke down in front of one of our office secretaries. I told her I was still feeling a little dizzy and that I just wasn't sure if I was up to being there. She told me to let her know if I thought I needed to go home ASAP and I promised that I would. Once I got up to my classroom I knew that I shouldn't be there at all. I was so stupid to have gone in. Our head secretary came up shortly thereafter and told me (nicely) to pack up and I needed to go home. She wasn't going to give me the choice.
I have not been back to work since then. In the meantime I have seen my PCP who put me on the agonizing"total brain rest for a month", a neurologist, I have had an MRI of my brain and cervical spine (both clear) and I have just seen a specialist to get started on cognitive evaluations and other testing to see what treatments and specialists I need from here on out. I have almost all of the classic TBI/PCS symptoms and apparently some issues with my vestibular functioning.

I've been meaning to introduce myself for a while but today I feel I particularly need to reach out because I feel like I am on the verge of a breakdown. Or maybe I did just break down.

Yesterday was just a very long day and today all I want to do is sleep. Maybe my fatigue has contributed to my emotions right now. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed.

So here's my deal: I'm supposed to be attempting to return to my teaching job starting half time next week. Just 4 hours a day on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Right as I was going to lay down this morning I received a conference call from my principal, my HR lady and my literacy coach to discuss my return plans. I felt a little bit ambushed and totally broke down in tears after the conversation. I was completely overwhelmed by all the details and honesty of my situation. They seem a bit concerned with the accommodations and recommendations from my doctor and I didn't get the impression that they seem positive that I am really ready to return. I'm not sure that I AM ready to return. I was honest with them however and told them that I often don't know my limitations until I test them and that this is a huge trial and error period and we all need to be flexible. If I were in their shoes I would be nervous about me coming back as well. I have light and noise restrictions and we don't know what school environment stimuli might put me into overload. It's one thing to try to anticipate and think about the environmental exposures and then it is a completely different thing to actually BE in the environment.

I am absolutely terrified right now and not sure that I really am ready to go back. I feel awful because I had my husband call me and I completely broke down. He's so darn busy at work and I feel bad that I interrupted his work day and caused him even more stress. He has been absolutely amazing and supportive though… Most of the time! The last two months have not been easy. This sucks so incredibly bad and I've never been so scared.

What if I can't go back to work? What if I go back and completely meltdown? What if I can't handle the functions of my job anymore? I am a teacher. I need to be able to handle distractions and not get overwhelmed. I feel like I might be in denial...but I won't know what I can handle until I try it, right? I apologize for the lengthy post but I am freaking out.

Sweet C,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. I had to quote your post because your paragraphs were too long. Many of us struggle to follow from line to line when the paragraph is more than 5 lines. Proper paragraphs are not required here. Just put a double space very 5 lines or so.

It sounds like you need to have the vestibular testing done before move forward. You may also have a subtle neck injury. Not a bad injury but just some instability that gets inflamed and cause symptoms to be worse. A CT Scan or MRI will not show these subtle injuries. Some icing a good neck posture during rest and sleep will usually help.

It will help to find ways to moderate your duties at home. Getting rushed or feeling pressured to get dinner ready can be stressful. Try to write down a days activities/chores list so you do not have everything bouncinhg around in your head.

Others, especially the moms may chime in a give you some better ideas.

My best to you.

Thank you for your input Mark, the daily list is a fabulous idea. I find that I am easily forgetting things that I intended to do.

I apologize for the lengthy paragraphs. As I've been reading through previous posts for a while and based on my own reading capabilities I should have known better. I've been utilizing the talk to text feature on my iPhone so that I don't have to look at the screen very much and just got rambling.


Between my first post and now I received a second phone call from my HR and they sound like they are going to do their best to be accommodating and supportive. I'll only be going in to work for two hours at a time for two days next week to meet with my teaching coach and then we'll evaluate how I do with that experience. I plan on going in equipped with earplugs and my trusty sunglasses.

I'm still very frightened and completely uncertain that I'm at a point in my recovery where I can actually do my job even partly well. If there are any other teachers out there I would love to hear from you.

It would be great to hear from the other moms as well. This has been very challenging with four young kids at home. I've explained to them that mommy's brain can usually only handle focusing on one thing at a time right now and they need to reduce audio and visual background "noise" to help me.

I hate telling them I'm tired, I have a headache, you have to be quiet and turn down the glaring lights all the time. I've been trying to stay positive and limit distractions in order to be able to be present for my family but boy does it get hard.

Sorry about your injury, but welcome to our little brain boo boo club.

Have you undergone neuro-psychological testing? That is really the best way to pinpoint your deficits and evaluate how they're affecting your day to day life. It can also help you access useful cognitive therapies and help convince your employer of the necessity of being flexible and accommodating.

Are you getting any help with your emotional issues? Of all the things I've had to deal with since my TBI, the depression, anxiety and anger problems have been the most painful. Statistically speaking, TBI patients are at higher risk for suicide and substance abuse.

As moms, I know we're conditioned to worry about other people, but please don't ignore your emotional needs. Talk to your doctor, find a psychologist with experience with TBI, contact your local branch of the Brain Injury Society about support groups, come here and ask/say whatever you need to...

Although it might feel that way, you are not alone.

You are definitely not alone on your road to recovery. I'm pretty much a noob at this concussion recovery thing but there are some real gurus on here. There's definitely a lot of good information on this forum and we're all in this trying to support each other back to recovery

As much as a lot of people were work driven prior to their concussion you need to put your healing and family first at this point. I made the mistake of trying to tough it out and go back to work too soon twice and symptoms came back pretty bad so be weary of trying to get back to go-go-go mode too soon again.

This should answer your question, you should probably take some more time if you can to rest and de stress. Try to adjust to a slower pace for a little while and focus on the positive steps forward in your healing. They're too easy to overlook when other symptoms keep filling your focus.

I am sorry too for your injury.
I am in the beginning stages of my journey myself and really have no wise words, however, as a mother of a young one too (who seriously bounces off the walls with amazing energy both physically and intellectually) try to give yourself a break. Mark and Hockey in this forum has given me wise words to remember.
Peace.

My child was very young when I had my mva. Rather than telling her to be quiet all the time (which would have been unfair and frustratingly futile), I tried to be practical. Ear plugs didn't cut it, so I bought myself a pair of those industrial muffs construction workers wear.

Did I look odd, walking around the house in them? Probably, but who cares? She got to play with all her loud toys (and friends) without my head imploding.

To cope as a TBI mom, I think you have to learn to prioritize. To say my house is not as tidy as it used to be, would be the understatement of the century. If I expend energy on cleaning, I won't have it to take my kid to the beach. To me, that choice is a no brainer. (no pun intended )

If people are offended by my housekeeping, they're shallow and I don't need them around.

That's another thing TBI patients learn: don't surround yourself with negative people. I like folks who remind me how far I've come since I was injured, not how far I am away from my old self.

You will learn, quickly, who your real friends are.

Thanks Seabass,

I IS a challenge to adapt to the much slower pace this injury has forced me into. I do know that for the sake of all parties involved I do need to be very careful with how I proceed and I guess the uncertainty of it all is very difficult for me to accept.

It is also hard knowing that my income is reliant on leave donations right now and not sure how long I can be floated by my the generosity and abilities of my colleagues. If things dry up, we don't have much in reserves. It's hard to put that "what if" stress aside.

I found out the hard way that the short-term disability insurance I thought I had voluntarily signed up for last year didn't actually go through. I never scrutinized the slew of paycheck deductions and it turns out we didn't have the numbers to enroll.

One of the good things that has come out of this is that my husband is taking a lead on our finances for once and we've drastically adjusted out budget. Who am I kidding? We often talked but never adhered - We actually HAVE a legit budget now!

I am going back to work next week for just two hours Monday and Tuesday to see how I do with behind the scenes type of work. I have promised to be honest with myself if I find I can't even handle that. I don't want to risk delaying my progress but also want to test my limits without pushing too far in the first place. That seems to be a tricky thing to do.

I've been reading a fair few threads on here but dont often reply. Because they me me cry, feeling guilt, shame...and relief.

I'm a single mum and I'm really truggling to ope with it all at the moment. I'm in so much pain all the time, so sensitive to noise andight. School runs are torture and not helped by the staff and other parents giving my dirty looks and saying nasty things.

I look like crap, sallow, almost black-bruising eyes and lost weight.I honestly think a lot of them thin I'm a junky. But i just dont have time, energy or inclination to play stupid social games and get them on side. I wrote a letter to the headmaster explaining, hoping this would help...it didnt.

My house is a mess. I just cant tidy properly. I clean so we dont live in dirt/un-hygenic but it leaves me shaking, sick, dizzy. I keep snaping at my 6yo son. Ive told him to **** off. How awful is that??! Its just like the fustration bubbles up and thats all I can feel and its stutters out it swear words. I remove myself fro situation and can them calm down.

After I apologise to him and try to explain: he understands. He says he can see when the crack in my heads bad. He knows swaring is bad and doest do it, he said I didnt used to and knows I dont mean it. He's such a good boy but I hate that he has to be this understanding.

Today he came and gave me a hug and said "Im the only one in the whole universe who cares about you, arent I?"

None of my friends or family have been there, he's right. its so hard. I'm doing the best I can but I know its not good enough. Im behind on work and I just cant handle peoples negativty.

I live in britain and I have tan skin, im a self employed single mother who has benefit help. There is so much hate aimed at people like me: racism, sexism, classim and I used to e able to deal with it. Now it leaves me with dread and fury.

And guilt beceasue I start to think maybe theyre right. Maybe I am scum.

Which is stupid, beuase even injured we are a good family, trying our best.

This has turned into a bit of a whinge, huh? Sorry...

Hi Hockey, thank you so much for your response.

I find it crazy that I can feel so very alone in a household of 6! I do end up sequestered in my bedroom quite a bit as I just cannot participate in much of my family's activities without a lot of agitation. I am very grateful to have found this group.

I am actually in the initial process/evaluations for neuro-psych testing. I made it through half of my cognitive eval this past Monday when my therapist said she felt I'd had enough for the day. Apparently I have some visible physical ticks that signify I'm "done". Round two is this Tuesday.


I went to my first occupational therapist appt this morning, Nov. 21st. It's incredible how taxing it was! The "exercises" were so simple- for a person with a healthy brain anyway! I went home with such a headache, nausea and fatigue and napped for two hours before my kiddos came home.


I have a counseling session on Dec. 3rd and received I for for a local TBI support group which I plan to contact soon. I too struggle with some depression, anxiety, anger problems, sleep problems...and guilt. The prednisone taper I'm on right now is adding to my issues too.

It is so hard to cope with the fact that I cannot be the wife and mother I was desperately hoping to be this year. The last FEW years have been excruciatingly tough on my family and so imbalanced as I went through my Master of Education program and last year was my first full time teaching year. Talk about imbalance!


My motto this year was supposed to be "Relationships and balance". I suppose it still can be, I just need to do some redefining of what that means to me.