Thanks Mark, I hope your keyboard recovers quickly!

I try not to multi task - but with a 7 and 3 year old, there are often multiple demands that I can't keep up with. I thought church was all in my head - although I guess that is the problem. I will avoid it and hope that a couple of hours of quiet give me some energy to be Mom in the afternoon.

Super electric, I don't drink often, but it was his 40th, and I didnt realize. As you said, in hindsight! I have avoided alcohol since then, but also wonder if it made things worse.

I'm trying to balance quiet time with not becoming socially isolated.

Aelfaba,

I hear you with the kids. I have a 4 yo and an almost 13 yo (different but I promise you, equally demanding). Do you have a partner? Do you have any family in the vicinity? You need to impress upon them the situation and elicit a lot of help with daily tasks. You are going to have to relinquish a lot of control to them so that you can rest. That is the ONLY way to not multi-task. Their commitment to providing all that extra help to you will enable you to recover much, much faster.

If you are raising 2 small kids with a high powered job, you are probably a real go getter, so this may be really tough for you, but I think it's the only way. There is no 'mind over matter' when it comes to brain healing.

As far as handling work, I am coming off being a stay at home mom with my youngest when this happened, so we were/still are reliant on one income. We ended up having to put her in full time pre-K because I couldn't take care of her. I was supposed to be preparing to return to work, which I am not going to be able to do in any way I'd imagined, and I am trying to figure out what kind of job will work for me. I feel grateful that I do have my husband's income and also that we live a pretty frugal life so that we have not been reliant on two incomes.

I don't go to church anymore. For me it's not the music noise but the crowds, chaos, people trying to talk to me all at once. You know, just a nightmare to think about it. I might as well go hang out in Grand Central Station. So, my husband goes and takes the kids. He is very supportive, but it's frustrating for him. Socially, I try to make sure I spend time one on one with friends I enjoy, who understand I may get tired quickly. I almost never gather with more than that except at the dinner table. When I do attend shows at school, I hang around the back and try not to interact socially so that I can save my energy for enjoying my child.

Mark in Idaho said, "be very selective about your activities." This was said to me, but I went backward so many times before I realized how seriously I had to take it. We really have to let things go to get better.

Be well,
Julie

Hi Julie

Control - it is hard for me, but sometimes I actually don't care about things the way I should. I'm letting go of what doesn't matter. As for kids, they are in school or daycare all day, so that helps a lot!

My husband is super supportive. He had a neurological issue a few years ago, where he lost use of an arm suddenly (Parson Turner Syndrome). It was awful, but something positive, we have first hand experience of what it is like to be the patient or caregiver. That is helping!

My mom stayed with us for the first couple of weeks, but we are on our own now.

I feel like you do about church - or any gathering over 3 people. I'm sure it will improve!

Aelfaba,

I had a lot of trouble returning to church after missing 10 months.

I started going after the singing portion and would close my eyes a lot during the sermon to keep from the fluorescent lights, both seemed to help. I found the sermon actually very helpful with anxiety as I concentrated intently on what was being said and not wondering to worries.

Much better now but still cautious .

Bud