[seth8a]

I have been spending a lot less time on Neurotalk these days, and this might be one of my last posts, but I have to say that I am doing significantly better. I'm hoping that some things on this list might help others along a similar path of acceptance. I realize that I can do about everything I was able to do before the accident, but with work-arounds and a moderated life. I am very excited about my life and my future!

1. I am now seeing a neuropsychologist and this has made all the difference for me. For the most part, a huge number of my symptoms were anxiety and depression related. I am being treated for both, and this has made a very big difference in my life. I would highly recommend getting evaluated for depression/anxiety if you believe that much of your suffering is caused by either of these. They indeed are symptoms of a head injury--but make up part of the complex soup of symptoms and if untreated make the neurological symptoms much worse.

2. Through working with our HR department and my immediate supervisor a neurologist and my neuropsych, in tandem with a lot of testing, we have worked out a "gradual return to full-time work" schedule here at my workplace. I enjoy my career, but realize that in the future the expectations for me will be different. The expectations for MYSELF are different now. The NPA was proof in the pudding that I sustained damage.

3. My vision was altered by this concussion, and I had my vision checked. Seems as though some of the anxiety I was experiencing is probably vision related, as new prescription glasses have made a great deal of difference for me. I now have a great deal more depth perception, which was probably the thing bothering me the most.

4. I am accepting my new self and actually like him pretty well! More mellow and for the first time in my life I actually stick up for myself and am not such a people pleaser.

5. One of the suggestions was to really concentrate on getting better sleeps. Now that I have the anxiety under control, sleep is a lot better.

I am by no means the same person as I was before the accident, but that is really OK with me at this point. I was literally going insane trying to find that person--who is long gone. We all change anyway, you know, without a concussion?

I want to thank Mark in Idaho specifically for helping me along this path. This guy is amazing, smart and compassionate. We are so lucky to have him on this forum. So, anyway, the long and short of it is this. I realize I will never, ever be the guy I was before March 7, 2015 at about 1:50pm. And in many ways, that is the most important step toward recovery for me.

Life is still very, very good, and I am blessed.

[MicroMan]

Seth, this is great to hear and congrats on your positive outlook and attitude.

One quick question, and I'm sure this is likely obvious, but what does "NPA" stand for?

[Mark in Idaho]

NPA stands for Neuro Psychological Assessment. It is a battery of tests that measure cognitive, memory, and executive functioning plus some other factors.

[seth8a]

Originally Posted by MicroMan

Seth, this is great to hear and congrats on your positive outlook and attitude.

One quick question, and I'm sure this is likely obvious, but what does "NPA" stand for?

Yes, the neuropsych assessment that I took three weeks ago was the best thing I could have done for myself. It really helped make sense of my injury and my future prognosis.

One of the things that Mark told me that really hit home, about 2 months ago was the following: "Not only is there light at the end of the tunnel, there is light IN the tunnel." I really took that to heart. I am intent on enjoying my life and my family, whatever my condition throws at me. I know that I'm going to have a great future, and that is what I'm really wanting to grasp! I did have a pretty significant head injury and the aftermath has been hard, but things happen in life . . .

I just want to emphasize again--if struggling with depression and anxiety because of the injury, please see a professional to get this treated.

[bachissimo]

Thanks for this Seth. But really, you are less than a year out, I am not sure why you think you will never be the same. I have read reports of people running marathons 5 year out.

But your attitude of acceptance is the best way to get there. Kudos and good luck.

[Mark in Idaho]

Just curious. What does running marathons 5 years out have to do with recovery from PCS ?

[seth8a]

Honestly, in some ways I think that I will be (and am) an even better person after going through this experience. Different, and definitely not the same as I was before March 7th, but really in a lot of ways, better. Even without the symptoms, going through a life changing event like a TBI changes ones perspective for good.

I can still see myself doing pretty much everything I did before . . . but now that my anxiety is under control I can see a whole world of possibilities opening up for me.

Fully recovering to what I was before the accident seems like an unrealistic goal at this time. Living every day one day at a time is the best bet. Slow and steady is the goal.

Originally Posted by bachissimo

Thanks for this Seth. But really, you are less than a year out, I am not sure why you think you will never be the same. I have read reports of people running marathons 5 year out.

But your attitude of acceptance is the best way to get there. Kudos and good luck.

[bachissimo]

Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho

Just curious. What does running marathons 5 years out have to do with recovery from PCS ?

I always enjoy the challenging points of views you bring Mark. I was an avid runner and now I can't run for 5 mins without getting dizzy for a week.

The day I can run a marathon without having TBI side effects I would definitely feel that the TBI is mostly behind me.

You meant to say this is an unrealistic expectation? Some people cope better with lowering their expectations for the rest of their lives, others like me, who are currently dealing with other medical issues, feel that "I can't take all this, I can take the concussion alone, or I can take the other thing alone, but not both"...

In that respect the success stories are my only hope. By the way, it would be GREAT to have a success/recovery subsection to inspire people.

I think for some of the us the road to recovery is more manageable with a combination of hope and lowered expectations for the medium term.

Thoughts appreciated. Sorry Seth if I am trolling your post, that was not my intention. I am just curious about why you say: "Fully recovering to what I was before the accident seems like an unrealistic goal at this time", I hope you only meant near future and not forever.

Yes adversities make us wiser and give us a thicker skin sometimes. Great for your that you have both acceptance and patience.

[seth8a]

Bachissimo--I firmly believe that you will run a marathon one day again. I really do.

You weren't trolling the post at all. I hold out hope that I can one day maybe race my bike again. But if I can't, that's fine, too. I kept thinking that I would one day just wake up and feel like my "old" self again--it was torture to me. Now, even if I have a bad day I'll still try to enjoy it. Looking back at the past is now counterproductive for me, personally.

Also, I must say that talking to professionals at our local brain injury center was invaluable to me. The nature of my injury was such that a 1 year recovery, or even longer, isn't out of the ordinary, especially with anxiety, depression and some PTSD thrown in the mix (the severe concussion that I had was the final event in a long series of traumatic events that happened to me, my immediate family and my close friends). I will be re-tested at 14 months. I also had another bad concussion at 15 years old, and probably some other minor ones that weren't really diagnosed, and unfortunately this really adds to the recovery time. Everything about this makes sense to me now, whereas it didn't at all before. The brain injury folks really helped me with this-(esp. the neuropsych). Time, patience, acceptance and a low stress life are all key.

Finally, I just met a woman who runs our brain injury support group. She is wonderful and bright and just finished her masters degree. Her injury? Blindsided by a car, head into windshield and then on to the pavement--multiple skull fractures, midline-shift, subdural hemotoma, cerebral edema and other injuries to her brain. It has taken her years and years and she will always be recovering, but people recover to lead happy lives from terrible brain injuries. Her story really put things in perspective for me.

Originally Posted by bachissimo

I always enjoy the challenging points of views you bring Mark. I was an avid runner and now I can't run for 5 mins without getting dizzy for a week.

The day I can run a marathon without having TBI side effects I would definitely feel that the TBI is mostly behind me.

You meant to say this is an unrealistic expectation? Some people cope better with lowering their expectations for the rest of their lives, others like me, who are currently dealing with other medical issues, feel that "I can't take all this, I can take the concussion alone, or I can take the other thing alone, but not both"...

In that respect the success stories are my only hope. By the way, it would be GREAT to have a success/recovery subsection to inspire people.

I think for some of the us the road to recovery is more manageable with a combination of hope and lowered expectations for the medium term.

Thoughts appreciated. Sorry Seth if I am trolling your post, that was not my intention. I am just curious about why you say: "Fully recovering to what I was before the accident seems like an unrealistic goal at this time", I hope you only meant near future and not forever.

Yes adversities make us wiser and give us a thicker skin sometimes. Great for your that you have both acceptance and patience.

[chasann]

My son sustained TBI, not expected to survive and if he did the prognosis was not good, nor were we given any hope. But survive he did and I pulled out all stops to rehabilitate him in what were trying, very trying conditions, for in our country a government funded no blame insurance company can either make life easy or hard - they made it hard so we had to pay for timely, and appropriate advice/therapy, which took its toll in more ways than one but no regrets for it paid off tenfold.

Sure it took time, but this once accomplished athlete who had represented his country in duathlon and cycling returned to these former loves albeit at lesser levels, works part time and now lives alone for the most part independently, in a flat. Cycling is comparatively easier than running which really knocks him around but in saying this he did do two half marathons. Adversity he believes has made him a better person.

Almost twenty years on, and having sustained another significant accident which set him back he continues to make progress and after this 2nd insult has I think (hope) given up on hoping to return to running but . . .Cycling is now social only, as he has learnt risk management, a consequence of last accident.

I wrote about his accident, what it was like for a mother living with, supporting and advocating for a son with TBI and if feedback was an indicator gave hope to many others; one mother telling me how after reading of my son then put her son into a flat of his own. Sharing is caring.

Who would have thought that now it is my turn - if I thought I knew Brain Injury before - it is a helluva lot different from the inside out!

But if I learnt anything from my fathers fall (not a survivor of BI) and my son, it is that you have to remain positive, keep alert to other ways of doing things (thank you neurotalk and all your fabulous contributors)and find the right therapist,/professionals versed in the nuances of this condition to help progress you forward.

Never ever give up was the best advice given to me re my son and my Dad's physio was exercise that body and use all parts. I did this forcing myself to eat with impaired right arm from the moment I became cognizant and asked friends to bring me tins of fruit with which I could exercise, the hospital staff for the most part telling me not to bother at this early stage!

Chin ups folks, it can get better than where you are now. Never give up HOPE
Helping Other Possibilities Emerge.