Last year around November, I got a concussion. Everything was going just fine, but my symptoms weren't going away. I don't think it was as bad as now though. Around March though, I was sleeping over at a friend's house and the next day everything felt like a dream.

I didn't hit my head at all though, but I did have a giant panic attack lasting for hours, eventually falling asleep and having a dream where Springtrap (from Five Night's at Freddy's 3) reached out from under my friend's bed and he cut my hand with a knife. I was sleeping on the floor, and I also had no idea that I was asleep at all. Now, I still have my symptoms except they're even worse.

I had my MRI last friday, because I never actually had one when I got my concussion. During it my head felt weird, although I don't know how to explain it. I felt really fatigued for the rest of the day and it hasn't gone away, and things like my memory got way more worse. I do weird things even more than I used to, and I don't know why.

People tend to not believe me about this though, because I appear and act fine to them. The thing is though, I try as hard as possible whether it's subconsciously or not to keep people from figuring out that I do stupid things because I used to be very smart and I get anxious about people thinking I'm an idiot.

I don't tell them this either, because I'm afraid they'll think that I'm faking even more. Right now I'm even more anxious because I'm scared that whoever's reading this will think I'm faking, and sometimes I even go as far as to doubt that my symptoms are actually real and just all in my head.

Some of my symptoms are things like I have a freakishly large amount of brain fog, my memory's bad, my brain does weird things, and I don't notice until a while after. Now thinking of words to say or "constructing sentences" is completely hard sometimes. It took me an entire day to figure out what to say and how to start.

I also have something wrong with my hearing, and I even did a hearing test and the doctor said everything was ok. A couple of months ago, I freaked out and asked my mom to take me to the emergency room because I was completely in anxiety mode. (I don't understand why I wanted it in the first place..) The doctor there wrote to my mom (she's deaf) and said that "I was most likely faking because nothing appears to be wrong with me".

Later when me and my mom were in an argument she got mad and said that the doctor thought I was faking, and I completely broke down and was crying for every night afterward. For about 3 days before though, they wanted me to rest and not do anything to stimulate my brain. I did this and the fog in my head felt more "pure" but it still didn't go away at all.

Now sometimes I'll be alone and think about myself and who I am, and I'll have a complete breakdown and cry because I want myself back. I don't know if you'll understand, but I just don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like a robot. Sometimes I feel like my subconscious does things for me because I can't do them myself.

Because of this entire situation, my grades aren't going well and I'm constantly not turning things in because I'm scared to face my teachers and telling them about this. I'm scared they'll say "it's not an excuse" and it'll make my grades worse.

Everything's ok now though, I'm in a better place, I have better friends, and I'm in a better environment but I just can't shake this feeling that everything around me is a figment of my imagination and I'm just fake. I don't feel that feeling you get when you look around and feel life. I just feel nothing. And it hurts me.

And my symptoms are getting worse. I'm really scared that nothing will show up on the MRI thingy because my mom gives me so much slack that I might be faking, but then I'm also scared that there's really something wrong with me.

But then my doctor was talking to me about how our brain can kind of "hold" our symptoms which seem like they're actually still going on, but in reality it's just in our heads. (Like your brain is addicted to the symptoms I guess? p-p) and I'm scared that that might be true.

But the hearing problems don't make much sense.. I don't understand either because I don't WANT to deal with this stuff. It puts a strain on me because I used to be the exact opposite of what I am now. I used to have a fast (the word just disappeared from my head ;= reaction time thing, I used to be able to remember anything really well, and other things too but I can't think of them now.

I can't think of all my symptoms because they have to come to me. I can't force myself to think of something, it has to come to me as if my subconscious is doing everything for me. I have to deal with the same thing during tests.

And ever since the MRI, my memory got worse, I keep doing some weird stuff like I can't explain things well even worse, and other things like I'm doing right now. I don't even remember what I was asking right now and I now have to spend a while trying to remember what was going on. I miss my brain.

Also, I'm around 14, just in case you were wondering. So this situation isn't really helping, especially in middle school. Please note that I haven't explained even half of my symptoms, I just can't think of them right now. Thank you.

random,

(Sorry, that is as good as it gets. My damaged brain can't come close to remembering your whole screen name.)

Welcome to NeuroTalk. Your symptoms sound like common Post Concussion Syndrome with a strong dose of anxiety added in. Anxiety is often associated with PCS. I predict the MRI will not show anything wrong. It is extremely rare to image damage from a concussion. It takes very specialized MRI protocols to image concussion damage. But, that's OK. The MRI's are used to rule out serious damage that is rare but can be a big threat to brain function.

I suggest you try to find a concussion clinic with multiple specialists to assess your condition. Many schools with football and soccer teams know where these clinics are. You might ask your school nurse if the school likes a specific clinic. You need to find someone who can understand your symptoms, diagnose your condition and properly report to your school and parents.

At your age, concussions can be more symptomatic as the brain is going through some serious changes, puberty, etc. In some cases, it just takes time for the brain to sort things out. I was in a similar situation at 15. It took about 1 1/2 years to get back to normal.

Please stay in touch. There is lots of good support here. It would be worthwhile for you mother to posy some comments and questions.

My best to you.

Hi there!

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. It's been a very difficult time for me for the past 7 months but can only imagine how much more troubling some of these symptoms might be if I were 14 years old.

I wanted to share some of the common symptoms that I experienced, as well as key things that have helped me recover. I also sensed just an insane amount of brain fog. My memory has been terrible because of a hit. I got hit in April, and kept getting setbacks in recovery till I completely dedicated myself to feeling better. I had to take leave from work (my first real world job) and explain to two neurologists (all who believe I am "totally fine") what I was going through. I totally empathize with you that it is very difficult to explain what you are experiencing. I would take Mark's advice and look through the TBI Survival Guide to understand some of the things you might be experiencing. This way you can explain to a doctor or neurologist in language they might be more open to understand.

I do hope your MRI is normal. Mine was, and I was still freaking out because I couldn't construct a sentence for about two months. Just felt like I was a complete zombie as well. You, your mom, and a trusted doctor definitely need to understand what you are experiencing. The one thing I will say is that even if things stay very confusing, and you begin to worry just know that your brain is actively working to fix this. As Mark said, these things do take time, it is very difficult to deal with because a brain injury causes you to feel less than who you are, but know that deep down (that subconscious you mentioned), it's still you, and your functions will slowly come back.

Best of luck to you, and feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

If school get too tough check into online schools, there are free ones like public school.. only online and you can work at your best times or in breaks of time..

Random,

I was going along recovering just fine until 6 months post accident when all hell broke loose on me.

Many of the symptoms you described happened almost over night it seemed and I had no clue what was happening to me till I Found neuro talk.

You sound like a classic pcs case and you aren't whacky. Tell your mom from us that you are quite typical of pcs.

From my experience... Keep the anxiety under control as best you can and it will help a lot.

My way of doing that is to remember that anxiety lies, use the truth of experience to remind you you are going to be ok and be patient about it.

Write us whenever you need to, we are here for you.

Bud

Random,

A PS here.

Your experience with school sounds very familiar. I am 56 and not in school but until recently I had a very difficult time with work, making decisions was very difficult if not impossible for me. I had to ask my sons and wife who work with me many times to help me decide something that I have been doing routinely for years. And yes I cried a lot too.

I am not telling you this to discourage or to give you an excuse to quit trying but to inform you that all you are experiencing is normal for pcs. I walked by the mirror many times wondering if I was faking it all but I wasn't.

You will find ways to keep trying, to rest when you have to and before you need to and ask for help.

Bud

Hey Random,
I am so sorry you're dealing with all of this. It's so frustrating when people are dismissive or feel you're doing this stuff for "attention." No one would choose to have these problems or feel this way but sadly people who are unaffected just don't get it.
As others said, if you can, find a neuropsychologist or concussion clinic. I know you're limited due to your age (meaning like you can't drive yourself there)...so I hope your family will be more supportive. As someone else mentioned, you should show your mom or dad this forum to help them understand what you're dealing with is real.
I had a similar episode like what you're saying in regards to having that crazy dream/anxiety situation and then being in a total fog the next day..... I couldn't think, read, focus, nothing at all.. I can't really offer much insight as I haven't gotten to see my doctor yet, though he's aware of what happened. The best thing to do, if you can, is to rest. Total silence or relaxation music. Or even binuaral beats work well but they sound super weird and take a little getting used to and you definitely need headphones for them. Relaxation music will help you in a lot of situations.
Take fish oil pills. I know it sounds hokey but my neurologist has me take them and it's backed by research that it can help your brain. That and green tea.
I hope I was helpful and did not come off as an ***. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi there

For a stressed out 14 year old with a brain injury you articulate your situation, feelings and symptoms in a way that I can totally relate to.

It's frustrating, scary and confusing times - we've all been there. I remember in my early stages (and still now) I desperately wanted to just understand and be understood! It's such a foreign weird feeling, but we have to trust that it's all part of neurophysical damage from the injury...not that we're just going crazy. It's a complex world up there!

All injuries and resulting symptoms are highly individual but there's a lot of commonalities too. I've experienced what you explained too. Remember, you're not alone!

Thanks everyone ^u^

It's a scary situation, especially if you think people don't believe or understand what you're feeling.

My brother and I are in high school and have always been competitive athletes on our school teams. What you describe is not uncommon at all and as Mark in Idaho has explained its called a "post concussive syndrome" and its normal to have some anxiety about it. (BTW- my brother and I are new to this forum ourselves but we've gotta say that Mark in Idaho is great! Mark - whoever you are- thanks for always taking the time to offer great advice and encouragement!)

My brother and I and many of our friends have had concussions and we became concerned enough that we decided to try and do something to help other kids like you and like us. You can't prevent concussions 100%, but the more you know the more you can participate in your own recovery, and the less anxious you'll feel. It's important to play smart, and its even more important to stay smart.

Most of all it helps to know that you're not alone!