[Futurist]

I (a 24-year-old university student from Southern California) had a TBI in February 2014 when I accidentally hit my head on an extremely hard metal/steel latter that was sticking out from a truck (or car) as I was walking extremely fast behind this truck (or car) without seeing this ladder. As a result of this TBI, I feel even more emotional than I previously felt and I also have problems with the right side of my brain and with my right arm and hand. To elaborate on this, unlike the left side of my brain, the right side of my brain still feels empty or at least more empty than the left side of my brain feels. Likewise, unlike my left arm and hand, my right arm and hand often become stiff and compressed and I just don't know why. Also, while I appear to have no problem holding things such as bottle caps in my left hand, I literally cannot hold things such as bottle caps in my right hand because I literally have the temptation to choke myself to death using these bottle caps and whatnot. Indeed, all of these symptoms are still occurring right now, almost 2.5 years after I had this TBI.

Frankly, I just want all of these symptoms to finally go away. Thus, what exactly do I need to do in order to try achieving this goal of mine? After all, living the rest of my life like this is certainly extremely intolerable for me! Indeed, I would certainly extremely strongly like some help in regards to this!