Hello everyone! I'm very excited to have found this forum, I only wish I had found it sooner!
aaaahh I'm trying to make a nice first impression, but my hands are shaking as I start to type to be honest

At the end of the year in 2011(I was 14) I was hit by an SUV while crossing a road. I don't know now how long I was out -the week in the hospital kind of blurs together you know- but along with the uuhh numerous broken and fractured bones, I had a significant bruise on my left frontal lobe. (I don't remember but I've been told that when I was awake, nothing that I said made sense, and that I cursed really loudly in the childrens' hospital they took me to ehehe.) I did one minor test following my discharge to test my cognitive function but it really seemed to be only testing for the a very basic level of functioning.. but they told me I'd be fine in a year tops so everyone just accepted that as done.

In the years following, I have seen a handful of therapists and psychiatrist. When I explained my situation, I always said my (psychological) troubles really began after the accident. Every doctor of every kind that I saw, however, only wanted to focus on my depression and medicate me for it. In hindsight, I think the spotlight put on just the depression may have done more harm than good.

I guess I should say- since my accident I have dealt with consistent, intrusive thoughts of suicide, along with various communication troubles, worsening eyesight, sleep problems, depressive symptoms, difficulty concentrating, physical and mental fatigue, ehh the list goes on but I don't need to list them all I'm sure we all have our own long lists..

Finally a year or so ago, as a result of seeking psychiatrist recommendations from the school I was attending's nurse and letting it slip that I was having intrusive suicidal thoughts, I was 5150'd. I won't get into the experience here, but it was awful and I have since lost a serious amount of trust for psych professionals as a whole.

Only recently after doing my own searches have I heard that any of what I've been experiencing for the last 7 years could have to do with the brain injury I sustained when I was hit ( + a concussion or 2 from more trivial things afterward)! This feels like a huge breakthrough, to find that I'm not just an eternally depressed person with no hope as I had really begun to feel.

But now I don't know how to proceed from here. It's been years since the instigating event and I don't know if it's... too late for rehabilitation as it should happen? I have been trying to figure out what I should do now, but often when I try to research, I feel like the feedback loop of my brain trying to self-evaluate overwhelms me so much that either a) I just stop being able to think like I've short-circuited or something or b) I get a splitting headache that feels like my brain in trying to just pop out of my head! OR c) both!

I'm trying to get better about getting enough vitamins and nutrients right now, but beyond that (and kind of within that too lol) I'm at a loss! I look forward to communicating with more people on these forums~ but if anyone has any advice, kind or understanding words, similar stories to share here, I would really appreciate it! I've never had anyone to talk to who could relate to these feelings of mine before, so I am excited