Hey Everyone,

I got a concussion a little over a year ago and since then have had what people here describe as Concussion Anxiety Syndrome.

I've been reading posts for the past week and honestly I was surprised, but relieved, that that many people here also experience irrational worry when they have the slightest bumps or jolts to their head. I have a history of OCD so when this started happening I recognized it as more OCD.

I believe there's two parts to this for me - 1. OCD/Anxiety and 2.PTSD/Disregulated nervous system . It's a vicious cycle, where my body freaks out before my brain has a chance to process whats going on, so then it tries to make sense of the panic. The opposite can also happen where OCD will obsess over a small bump or something and then create physical symptoms that aren't really there.

For the past week or so, whenever I've had a small bump or jostle to the head I've thought back to the stories on this forum which helped me not obsess, so thank you for that. I've been priding myself on how well I've been doing this past week lol.

Anyways, coincidentally enough, tonight I was pulling into the parking garage for my building when the gate, which is this giant metal gate that swings open and closed, closed on me while I was pulling in. It struck the back wheel well of my car and scratched the side of my back bumper.

I don't remember the impact being that bad, after all it hit the side of my car and was prob only a foot or something away and the gate itself doesn't move that fast BUT of course it was a pretty jarring experience where I quickly went into fight or flight mode, which then of course led to me wondering if the impact was worse than I was remembering and maybe I got whiplash and I have another concussion.

I had some physical/mental symptoms follow as well, although I've been better at recognizing them as what they are - anxiety (hopefully lol) and trying to live my life. I even negotiated a job offer for 35 mins in the middle of this so can't be that bad.

Like Pacino says in the Godfather - "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in"

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Welcome to NeuroTalk

It sounds like you have a very sensitive startle response. That can be related to your OCD and anxiety issues.

That startle response can also trigger the remembered symptoms and make life miserable.

For some of us, it triggers an outburst. Recognizing this as a sensitive startle response can help you think your way through the event.

Welcome irsugh.

Exactly, thank you Mark. I've been going to the Cantu Concussion Center here in Mass, and they suggested I try EMDR therapy which I've been told can basically calm that sensitivity and PTSD response down.

Trying it next week!

Please report back after your EMDR therapy. It takes multiple sessions. It was suggested for me 23 years ago but was still controversial.

Will do! I'm really excited to try it. I actually attempted to try it about 9 months ago, but before we got started the therapist said it could cause seizures which obviously was not a relaxing way to start the therapy. Needless to say, I ended up getting overwhelmingly nauseous as soon as we started, pretty sure it was more anxiety than anything.

The therapist I'm going to next week does "EMDR intensives" which is essentially multi hour sessions which is designed to be several sessions in one, and allows for time to ease in and out of the session. When I tried it with the seizure lady I basically got anxious and our hour was up and she hung up on me (it was remote) and I was left saying to myself "what the heck what that?" - so definitely excited and hopeful to try this longer format.

The interesting thing is, I was in exposure therapy for years with an OCD therapist when the concussion happened, so naturally tried exposure therapy to combat these episodes but it wasn't that helpful, which I believe was because like you're staying, the startle response basically takes over before I can make sense of whats happening. Unfortunately my therapist wasn't very understanding of the concussion and kept forcing exposure therapy down my throat despite it not helping, and unwilling to consider that other methodologies in conjunction with exposure therapy may also be helpful, which I don't think helped my outlook.

Also, I've had such a low tolerance for vision therapy, exercise rehab etc and my doctor's have theorized that it's due to such an overactive nervous system so would make sense that the startle response is also the culprit here.

Super grateful for finding this forum though because I thought this was the only person in the world that this happened to!

How well do you sleep?

I had to relearn how to get to sleep to get quality sleep. With quality sleep, I am much more tolerant of stress.

I also take a 5-HTP supplement that is very helpful. I was on Paroxetine, an SSRI, for 13 years and stopped and replaced it with 5-HTP and L-Theanine. Amazing improvement.

I somehow landed back on this forum and remembered I posted on it for a short time. Happy to be back with a success story.

I did several EMDR "intensive" sessions (3 hours each) since last time I posted and the startle response, along with the OCD around getting another concussion, is basically nonexistent for me at this point. Once in a while I'll get it but I bounce back quicker and it's a fraction of what it used to be.

EMDR also calmed down my nervous system and helped with dysautonomia to the point where I can exercise again and do a lot of things without significant setbacks.

In addition, I saw a neuroendocrinologist, Dr. Mark Gordon, who treats TBI patients with hormones. I had high cortisol (no surprise), low pregnenolone, low testosterone, and low DHEA.

I'm now on testosterone replacement therapy, supplementing pregnenolone and DHEA and am doing tremendous. I would say I'm 90% back to being who I was prior to my concussions after suffering for so many years with PCS.

One of my doctors early on described concussions as an "injury of energy" and gave an analogy of your gas tank being depleted and because the brain is so energy intensive that it's difficult for that gas tank to fill back up. Even when I felt "good" the past few years, I still didn't really, it still felt like my gas tank was never full. Now for the first time in almost 3 years I can say my gas tank is finally full again.

For the longest time, I talked about my concussions like I was still experiencing them, in the present tense, because in a way I kind of was. I noticed somewhere in the past few months I now talk about them in the past.

I can't say enough good things about EMDR and the hormone protocol I'm on, they gave me my life back. Hopefully this can help someone out there reading this.