Just got home......

Today was my first appointment with a new neurologist. I was with him for almost 2 uninterrupted hours....A real normal kind of guy he seems to be too, rather rare in my experience with neurologists.

Anyway, we went over all things from/with/of all the past neuro's, all the drugs, all the tests, and every thing else imaginable too....

He explained to me why, in his opinion anyway, neurologists have been so cautious about me & narcotics and hell bent on trying any and every available pharmaceutical rather than "permitting" me to take large, sometimes generally considered to be lethal doses of narcotics at those times when I decide I need them, and at the dosage levels that I decide are most efficacious for me. And it did make a good bit of sense.

He says that my particular kind of headaches are the most difficult, he says extraordinarily difficult, to successfully treat/alleviate, and in some cases almost impossible without the large doses of narcotics that I do not like to take. He says too that few neurologists outside of those who specialize in treating persons with both significant recovery and headaches like mine will ever see someone with headaches like mine anyway. He also says that the numbers of folks who can take what any physician would consider to be enormous levels of narcotics without harm, are while not unknown, pretty close to none.....And that no doctor wants to responsible for me overdosing on his "watch". Fair enough.......

Turns out that other than taking large (and sometimes potentially lethal) doses of narcotics, my options are indeed quite limited......
There is almost nothing left to try......Though there are a few pharmaceuticals that have shown some research promise at reducing the frequency that the headaches occur. As I have tried none of those, I told him I would be willing to try anything known to not be physically addictive and not massively mind-numbing either......after I do my own research on what he suggested first. of course

But for some odd reason I sure do feel better hearing all this... especially after finding out that family and friends were told that I likely would not survive that first night, and if I did survive at all that there was little if any chance that I would ever know or be or recognize, or do much of anything except babble and drool ever again.
So being told that and having read that: "Recovery from minimally conscious states is exceedingly rare, said study co-author Nicholas D. Schiff, M.D, of Weill Cornell Medical College. Dr. Schiff said that XXXX was a "one in 300 million case." I feel somewhat better now......

And so, it would appear that I am even more fortunate than I had previously believed myself to be........The neurologist who told the wife and I that I am the most amazing person he has any personal knowledge of, may have actually been telling us the truth. Though from just a me being me personal viewpoint, I don't seem that amazing at all... Other than somebody not killing me dead by now I don't anyway...

So I have decided that since I am a rather fortunate soul, I am just going to try and be happy with the way things are and with the progress that I have made. If the headaches can't be stopped, I'll just learn to be OK with that too, one way or another and sooner or later, I most assuredly will.

Why, I'm even going to make a whole hearted effort to be nice to everyone from now on and to be more thoughtful in all things I say and think and do too....

I am even going to quit cussing all the neurologists I have had words with in the past (that being all but one of them). I am even going to send them all a thank you note and an apology for whatever I may have said/done/implied/demanded/whatever/etc.

I am off to work on being a (relatively) nice guy.......
Y'all HAGD.....