[hurricane12]

recently i got into a fight and got beat up real badly
i had a huge bump in my forehead and got punched directly in the eye.
as soon as i got hit in the eye everything turned black and i had blurred vision
in the eye for a week and the morning after the fight i also had pain in the neck. i went to the doctor and told them about my eye and they found nothing wrong. i was worried because i seen that my vision was cloudy in that eye and everything around me seemed darker and dreamlike.
when they told me nothing was wrong i went home hoping to get better.
i also went to the eye doctor and they also told me nothing was wrong they did a bunch of test they said i just had a minor inflammation of the eye. the next day after the visit to the eye doctor my right eye got better but the dream like feeling was still there so i realised it might be more then just my eye thats the problem but the actual brain itself. i was in school i couldnt concentrate i couldnt talk to nobody i tried to be my usual self but i felt so uncoordinated and had trouble speaking to people everything in school looked so dark and dream like even when i was outside and it was sunny everything still looked dark and dream like i also felt like i had no control over what im doing even though i know i do i just feel so different and disconnected from everything around me. when i got home i realised i didnt have that usual feeling of relief as i entered my house i just felt plain and emotionless. i was actually scared to go home because i didnt want to be by myself, i started to panic i started getting nervous and was afraid to be alone i couldnt even sleep because i felt like i wasnt going to die or something might happen in my sleep one time i was sleeping i felt like i was having a seizure i started shaking uncontrollably. im scared all the time and feel nervous that this may be permanent and i might lose my eyesight which is one of my biggest fears.
i really don want to live the rest of my life like this. so after i came from school i started to feel the symptoms of pct badly and me not getting any sleep didnt help either so i went to the emergency room they gave me a catscan they said they didnt see nothing wrong they said to go to the nuerologist and that i might have pcs. but i fear that nothing can be done and that it may be permanent damage

im sorry for the long story confusing story im having trouble just typing right now.i get shakes just typing about this i feel so different i feel like i dont even exist or something and everything is so unreal i feel so emotionless
and unhappy. before when im home i had the feeling that told me im home i am this place now i just feel so blank i try to laugh at peoples jokes and conversate but everything just feels so fake this is one of the worst and most frightning experiences i ever had in my life no one should have to go through this


i feel like my life is destroyed im about to graduate and i might not even be able to because im having trouble concentrating in school i miss several days already and im in danger of repeating the year

who knew one fight can ruin a persons life whats gets me even more sad is that i could of so easily avoided the fight and went on with my life like normal but i let the emotions get the best of me and now im paying dearly for it. you really never know what u have until u lose it i thought my life sucked before now it sucks even worse whats even worse is i cant do nothing to the kid that did this to me seeing as im kinda of the one that provoked the fight

i wish some one told me the dangers of fighting and pcs it hurts so much when i realize i could of avoided all this